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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DU never locks the bloody door

265 replies

Saitama · 16/12/2019 01:27

Title really, we moved to a new house recently and DH so far 6 times (not that I’m counting... Hmm ) has left the front door unlocked. We live on a main road so the front door is easily accessible. We also have dogs so if they jumped at or knocked the door handle it could open, they could escape and get run over as well as all our stuff being stolen. Fab!

I find this absolutely infuriating. He doesn’t take it seriously, says he will lock it next time and promises to lock it as soon as he gets in, but 6 chances later and he still leaves it unlocked and now I obviously don’t trust him.

I’ve taken his house keys and our car key from him and said I’ll have to let him in and out of the house like a child. I don’t trust him with the car key because how can I know he’s locking the car if he can’t even lock the house door? I’ve told him he has to get a bus to work now. Too harsh? AIBU?

How do I make him lock the fking door!?!? I don’t want to have to babysit the keys but what choice do I have? I looked at getting an auto lock as a secondary lock but it’s a upvc door so I’m unsure you can even get it for that type, and frankly why should I have to spend money on that when as an adult DH should just be able to lock the door normally? ARGH! Angry

OP posts:
Whattodoabout · 16/12/2019 11:30

Maybe he’ll only learn when you get burgled or have the car stolen.

Whattodoabout · 16/12/2019 11:31

Surely if the door is shut nobody can just walk in from outside?"

Most doors do not automatically lock once closed, not in my world anyway.

Shmithecat2 · 16/12/2019 11:44

Yeah, I have to agree, if it were him taking keys away from you and making you get the bus, there would be LTB!!!'s all over the shop. If my DH did that to me, I'd get on that bus and not come back tbh.

We live in a very safe environment, patio doors are open all day, and the front door is never locked at all. DH did used to lock it and it made me feel like a prisoner. We also have a keyless car, and the key stays in the car. Just get a Yale lock and be done with it.

Dogno1
How old is your car that it doesn't automatically central lock when you step away from it?

You win the internet today 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

AxeOfKindness · 16/12/2019 11:46

@rhubarbcrumbles OK, so the OP is at fault for not choosing a naicer area to live.

There you go, OP, if your husband won't lock the door the solution is to just move to a different part of the country! Simples! Hmm

(Kind of sorry to be so snarky, but seriously?)

Lllot5 · 16/12/2019 13:18

When I shut my front door it is openable ( new word) from inside but not outside.
If I could open it from outside without a key I would lock it but if it’s shut then that’s ok?

Aridane · 16/12/2019 13:40

There was a story in the press just weeks ago about a man who walked in through a family's unlocked door and raped the children

Please let's keep Alesha McPhail out of this

Thistle23 · 16/12/2019 13:48

I came home from a night shift and the door was unlocked. I was absolutely fuming with my DH.

Every night I will check the door is locked before bed ,I wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise .

Vulpine · 16/12/2019 13:53

Once our door is shut you need a key to get in. Why not change the locks on your door to that system. My dh is the opposite. He's obsessive sbout locking everything

ADogInTheManger · 16/12/2019 13:55

Please let's keep Alesha McPhail out of this

I don't think they're referring to Alesha McPhail. I think that poster meant this story. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/11/27/police-hunt-late-night-intruder-sexually-assaulted-boy-bedroom/

wombat1a · 16/12/2019 14:02

You lock yourself during the day time? How dangerous is that? I don;t think I could live with someone who kept locking me in, if they insisted I did the same I think I'd be chucking them out sans key.

viccat · 16/12/2019 14:05

All of you saying you leave your front doors unlocked would not get anything back from insurance if someone just walked in and stole your stuff while you're upstairs/in the garden. It doesn't matter how safe you think your area is, there are opportunistic burglars everywhere from the quietest villages to the roughest parts of London...

OP, get the lock changed to one that locks automatically when the door is closed. Mine can be opened without a key from the inside but not outside. And then there's a second lock that is key operated from both sides, which I use overnight and when I go out.

diddl · 16/12/2019 14:39

"Once our door is shut you need a key to get in."

Ours too, but it can still be opened from the inside.

Unless it's locked!

Purpleartichoke · 16/12/2019 14:41

I live in a very nice, extremely low crime area. I still keep my doors locked because I’m a responsible adult.

dreichXmas · 16/12/2019 19:21

I don't lock my doors if I am in the house, DH does.
We would be having words if he thought he could take my house key off me.
I do have a very barky dog however with razor sharp hearing, no one gets anywhere near the door without him letting me know.
I reckon that is a much better deterrent than any lock.
In your case I would treat your DH like an adult OP and get a different kind of lock on your door.

CherryPavlova · 16/12/2019 20:34

Our insurance doesn’t require locked doors. Not mentioned in the policy at all.
I’m not sure deciding and agreeing on a level of security risk we’re prepared to accept means we’re not responsible adults.

If we had locked doors whilst at home, people couldn’t pop in for a coffee. I wouldn’t necessarily hear a knock as it’s the other end of the house and I use headphones for calls. Neighbours usually just come in and put the kettle on before coming to find me. It’s nice.

gamerchick · 16/12/2019 20:42

Our insurance doesn’t require locked doors. Not mentioned in the policy at all

A bit like manufacturers having to put warning labels on packets of nuts saying contains nuts then.

bluebluezoo · 16/12/2019 20:51

How old is your car that it doesn't automatically central lock when you step away from it?

Hmm

I have a 12 plate. Doesn’t lock automatically when you step away, and you actually need to put the key in the ignition to start it Shock

Some people keep their cars longer than a year. Perhaps because they can’t afford it, perhaps because they don’t view cars as disposable, or possibly because keeping a car for a few years claws back some of the environmental loss of car ownership.

My mum’s 18 plate doesn’t lock automatically, and i wouldn’t class that as an “old” car?

You crack on being superior because your car has an automatic lock.

saraclara · 16/12/2019 21:04

Anyone else wondering how many years the PP has been walking away leaving their car unlocked?

I was thinking the same! I have never in my life come across a car that locked itself as you walk away. Is the PP always a passenger, who's never noticed that the driver presses the remote button as they leave the car?!

TheClausSeason · 16/12/2019 21:06

In defence of PP, some cars do lock themselves when you walk away with the key. My dad has one, but doesn't like it because it means you can't actually check that the door is locked before you walk away from it.

GrumpyHoonMain · 16/12/2019 21:17

Just get a door or lock system that locks automatically when the door closes.

GrumpyHoonMain · 16/12/2019 21:19

I have a car that locks automatically when you walk away with the keys. But it is a premium car - I don’t think you get the same feature in lower price cars.

Lucyccfc68 · 16/12/2019 21:30

My Grandma and Grandad got their house burgled. They didn't have the front door locked and they were gardening in the back. Burglar just walked in the front door and stole money and jewellery and their car keys. The insurance refused to pay out, as the front door wasn't locked.

My 14 remembers every time to lock our door, so your adult DH should be able to do it.

I would have done the same and taken his keys for a few days to teach the dickhead a lesson. I would fully expect the same treatment if I kept forgetting to lock the door and putting the house/contents at risk.

Act like a child, get treated like one.

Skysblue · 16/12/2019 21:43

I get it. I know someone who does this and it is so scary for his partner having the house open to whoever. Especially when she wakes up in bed and he’s popped to the shops leaving the front door wide open. He is an idiot and she hasn’t found a solution.

Take his keys / yell at him / do what you need to do. Which is probably arrange a different type of lock with an auto shut thingy.

(Remind him that your house insurance won’t cover you for stuff that happens when the house isn’t secured.)

SavoyCabbage · 16/12/2019 21:57

A bit like manufacturers having to put warning labels on packets of nuts saying contains nuts then.

Those warnings are to tell people who have an allergy that the product may contain something that isn't listed on the ingredients.

So crunchy nut cornflakes says 'may contain nuts' as it's made in a factory that also makes other cereals that contain hazelnuts. So you need to know if you have a hazelnut allergy. Crunchy nut cornflakes don't contain nuts themselves as an ingredient as peanuts aren't a nut.

CherryPavlova · 16/12/2019 22:38

A bit like manufacturers having to put warning labels on packets of nuts saying contains nuts then.
No, nothing like that at all.