DU never locks the bloody door

[Saitama]

Title really, we moved to a new house recently and DH so far 6 times (not that I’m counting... ) has left the front door unlocked. We live on a main road so the front door is easily accessible. We also have dogs so if they jumped at or knocked the door handle it could open, they could escape and get run over as well as all our stuff being stolen. Fab!

I find this absolutely infuriating. He doesn’t take it seriously, says he will lock it next time and promises to lock it as soon as he gets in, but 6 chances later and he still leaves it unlocked and now I obviously don’t trust him.

I’ve taken his house keys and our car key from him and said I’ll have to let him in and out of the house like a child. I don’t trust him with the car key because how can I know he’s locking the car if he can’t even lock the house door? I’ve told him he has to get a bus to work now. Too harsh? AIBU?

How do I make him lock the fking door!?!? I don’t want to have to babysit the keys but what choice do I have? I looked at getting an auto lock as a secondary lock but it’s a upvc door so I’m unsure you can even get it for that type, and frankly why should I have to spend money on that when as an adult DH should just be able to lock the door normally? ARGH!

[Scarlettpixie]

He is a bit of a twat bit I’m not sure you get to treat him like a 13 yo either. If he won’t step up you need to consider your relationship. I would not be happy either. Often people don’t see the risks though, especially during waking hours. Maybe this is a disagreement about the importance of what you think. My H was similar. I always checked the door but often he would leVe it unlocked in the evening. We were both good about locking it at bedtime.

[MarySidney]

You can’t take his car keys and order him to take bus,

But she can take the keys to her car and tell him he no longer has her permission to use it.

....or just roll your eyes and lock it yourself.

Why should she have to run around after him because he can't behave like a reasonable adult? What if she's out or in bed asleep?

[BackforGood]

How old is your car that it doesn't automatically central lock when you step away from it?

How new would it have to be that it did this ? First time I heard about such a daft idea was earlier this week, leaving my car at the garage for some work and been told to leave the keys in the lock and then suddenly asked if it locked itself when I shut the door as people have started accidentally locking their keys in the car when they leave their car at the garage. I would suggest that the overwhelming majority of cars on the road don't have this inbuilt disaster waiting to happen.

OP - You are being incredibly unreasonable and controlling

[1Morewineplease]

I clearly am not understanding OP’s concern.
Is the front door able to be opened from the outside if not locked? What kind of door is this?
UPVC doors that I’ve come across cannot be opened from the outside.
If the dogs are a concern re opening them then fit a bolt or two. Better still, fit a Yale lock like I have.Strangers cannot walk in ( no handle on the outside of my door) and my dog can’t open it. It has never occurred to us to lock the door from the inside unless we go to bed.

I’m a bit concerned at OP’s controlling behaviour on this and , as others have said, this is not a battle to fight over.

OP. Get a better lock or just roll your eyes and lock it yourself. There are worse battles that couples need to deal with.

[Flamingle18]

Just saw this story and thought if this thread. If not burgled you may end up with a stray puppy!

www.boredpanda.com/dog-stray-home-open-door-adoption-jack-jokinen/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=BPFacebook

[winniestone37]

You can’t take his car keys and order him to take bus, this is abusive behaviour.

[HeronLanyon]

Not sure why they are called ‘night latches’ though as they work just the same 24 hours ! Maybe because at night you can put the ‘snick’ up for additional security ??

[HeronLanyon]

Possible. All doors I’ve lived with something like this and then a Chubb and sometimes an Manchester bar (in rougher areas)

[BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou]

The type with a handle commonly seen on upvc doors such as mine

My front door, my previous (UPVC) front door, my brother’s front door, my daughters front door ....... all of those have a handle on the outside but NONE of them can be opened from outside without a key. The handle is used if you want to double lock (or un double lock) the door.

[BarbaraofSeville]

I wonder how many people have been going round leaving car and house doors unlocked because they seem to be under the impression that all doors automatically lock when they are closed?

[SgtFredColon]

What kind of front door is not automatically locked when shut?

The type with a handle commonly seen on upvc doors such as mine and many other people’s houses. Like a pp I’m aware that other types of locks exist though

[SgtFredColon]

Get a lock which locks automatically = cancel the cheque.

[TheLastBiscuitInTheJar]

get a normal door lock that locks when it shuts. What kind of front door is not automatically locked when shut?

That is a normal door to me. I'm aware that other types of locks/doors exist but I've never lived in a house where the door automatically locked.

[BarbaraofSeville]

What kind of front door is not automatically locked when shut

Er, a normal one? I've never lived in a house with automatically locking doors. None of the people I visit regularly do either.

[Flamingle18]

Could you ask him use the back door and keep the front door locked?

[yellowallpaper]

yANBU at all. This would drive me mad. You need to find a way of the door auto locking or a visible reminder because as soon as he gets the keys back, it will happen again.

[monstiebags]

get a normal door lock that locks when it shuts. What kind of front door is not automatically locked when shut?

[Nifflernancy]

So what has HE said he will do to make sure he remembers? You shouldn’t have to keep remaining him or suggesting ways to remember!! He should be coming up with ideas, whatever it takes to help him. Though I’d guess he’s not bothering with that, he’s just saying “oh yeah sorry I’ll remember next time” without taking any responsibility?

[SunshineAngel]

DSS kept doing this last year, as he left the house after us, and would often (more often than not, in fact) leave it unlocked. The consequence to that was that he had to get up at 5.30 and go to work with my partner, from where he could get the bus at 8.00 to school.

A few weeks of having to do this and he soon stopped - as he only had to get up at 8 where we live if he was walking!!

However, this is a child. I don't think it's appropriate to punish your husband..

[InABigCountry]

My husband is the opposite after being in the police- our doors are always locked. One evening we were all in the house- lights on, cars on driveways, TV on etc- someone tried to get in our door, luckily couldn't get in as it was locked. Ran off by the time we unlocked the door.

[DinoSn0re]

Also, please don’t assume that people looking to rob you will be deterred by a high fence/locked gate. When it happened to us, the bloke had climbed over our seven foot fence, and cut the massive lock on the back gate and opened it in preparation for legging it with our stuff.

[DinoSn0re]

@DrivingMsCrazy he’s not as bad as he was but I have caught him asleep on the sofa with the back door unlocked a few times since, and even with the door wide open into the garden on a couple of occasions in the summer. The problem is that he always stays up a lot later than me, and he’ll go outside to vape, but then he’ll doze off on the sofa whilst watching tv and leave the back door unlocked. It definitely hasn’t taught him the lesson it should have! I’ve stuck a massive sign up on the door now reminding him to lock it EVERY single time, I’ve not found it unlocked since then. It does make me absolutely furious though, he’s putting everyone at risk and if he wasn’t such a great DH and dad in every other way, I’d seriously tell him to live elsewhere!

[judithandholofernes]

@Saitama my DH is just as irresponsible. He keeps leaving our front door open, slightly ajar now that it’s winter and fully swinging open in the summer! You can see the door from the street and he’s asleep on the sofa! So many times I’ve came home and flipped the lid but it makes no difference.
Every night I have to lock up, knock off the Christmas lights, blow out candles even if he’s staying up as I don’t trust him.

It’s infuriating and such a turn off in a man

[bluebluezoo]

(men's brains work differently to women's

No. They don’t.

They work exactly the same. Brains are brans and work via a very complicated system of nerves and chemicals. But exactly the same in both men and women.

Stop with the sexist bollocks.

[Flamingle18]

In summer the town where I live was evacuated and there were police cordons and army everywhere yet some opportunists managed to get into the town via the canal putting their own lives at risk to see what they could take. I know this is a very different situation and the news coverage drew attention to thousands of empty homes but my point is there are opportunists everywhere, no matter where you live. They are prepared to travel and try random doors until they hit lucky.
I would be mad too and I feel your despair, I have an ex who would repeatedly forget really important things. I tried notes around the house, asking him to set reminders, asking him what would help and all sorts but despite him apologising, nothing changed and you do start feeling so frustrated and try things you wouldn't normally even think of.