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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband left 2 year old in car

194 replies

Chickpearocker · 13/12/2019 18:28

I feel a bit shaky writing this. Left husband in charge of 2 year old today, casually mentioned he went to Friday prayer, he then said toddler was left sleeping in the car for about 30 minutes. I told him this was unacceptable he said what could I do and that he never does anything right.

He was about 5 minutes away from the car and the back windows are tinted but still. Can someone sane tell me what I should do about this.

OP posts:
Isnappedandsharted · 13/12/2019 18:30

That is not ok.

dementedpixie · 13/12/2019 18:30

So he wasnt near the car and couldn't see it? Tell him that under no circumstances can this happen again. It was a stupid thing to do

AllTheProsecco · 13/12/2019 18:31

Definitely not ok. I even hate leaving mine asleep to pay for petrol or to nip in the house for a wee if they're asleep with car on the driveway.

champagneandfromage50 · 13/12/2019 18:31

i am assuming friday prayer was inside therefore his DD was outside in the car? Shocking...what would have happened if she had woken up? Some DC can get out there seats and open car doors....he is an arse...

Winterdaysarehere · 13/12/2019 18:32

At 2 my ds would have got out of his seat and pressed all sorts in the car. Like the handbrake or door handle...

Butternutsqoosh · 13/12/2019 18:33

Crikey - I'm pretty relaxed but this is dreadful! Not acceptable

ChristaMSieland · 13/12/2019 18:33

Tell him to organise a creche at the Mosque/church/temple if it is such a pressing issue for him.

Original poster
Chickpearocker · 13/12/2019 18:34

No he couldn’t see the car. She wouldn’t be able to get out of the seat or press buttons, she can’t undo the strap yet.

The car park they use is in the hospital grounds so near to a and e.

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 13/12/2019 18:35

I would show him this thread with all the people saying it's not on. What if someone broke into the car? What if child woke up crying, would he be happy to have his window smashed by a concerned person? What if someone drove into the car by accident?

Tell him he does not do everything wrong. And instead of feeling sorry for himself he needs to realise his mistake and decide not to do it again.

keepingbees · 13/12/2019 18:36

No that's not acceptable and I would go mad if my DH did this. Anything could've happened in 30 minutes.
That's really neglectful.

Topseyt · 13/12/2019 18:37

Not acceptable. He should have taken the child in with him. If child were to wake up during the prayers then that's just the way it is and he would have to deal with it.

crispysausagerolls · 13/12/2019 18:37

What the actual fuck?!?! She could have woken up 1 min after he left and been distressed and screaming blue murder. Someone could have seen and reported. Someone could have seen and stolen her. She could have been so distressed she choked on her tears blah blah THIS IS NOT OK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

ChristaMSieland · 13/12/2019 18:37

Print off some news articles about cars stolen with DC in them, cars crashing into parked cars, parked cars catching fire. Not to mention Madeleine McCann.

Is she usually useless?

Leaving aside potential disasters, does he not realise how distressed a baby could get in 20/30 minutes if they woke up alone in a car?

thistimelastweek · 13/12/2019 18:38

Don't know about never doing anything right but he sure got that wrong.
It's hard to know where to start if he cannot see the problem.
So, worst case scenario, the car could have been stolen/ spontaneously combusted. Maybe unlikely but it's been known to happen.
At the other end of the scale, toddler might wake up and be very frightened. Definitely known to happen and definitely to be avoided.
You just don't leave your children unattended

Tombliwho · 13/12/2019 18:38

Not okay Sad very poor judgement on his part.

SquareAsABlock · 13/12/2019 18:38

This is an extreme case, but it should still be heeded. Half an hour was far too long, you never know what could sadly happen.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-43468076

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 13/12/2019 18:38

he said what could I do and that he never does anything right

Well he could start by avoiding doing things that social services/ police would get involved in if they knew!

Hagbeth · 13/12/2019 18:38

Ask him if his religion is more important than his child.

PurpleFrames · 13/12/2019 18:38

Something similar to this happened in my area. The child was left alone for 5mins before the police came- the parent was in the shop. Rightly the dad was charged and it went all the way in court (lots of people on the local fb disagrees with this but anyway...) and an SS investigation started. You can never ever leave a child alone like that and if he thinks that's ok he probably can't do anything right and I wouldn't leave him alone with your child.

Sexnotgender · 13/12/2019 18:39

That’s properly shit parenting.

ChristmasSpirtsOnTheRocksPleas · 13/12/2019 18:40

Not really a risk in winter but on a sunny temperate day (doesn’t have to be hot) a child could easily die in that time. A whole host of other things could have happened in that time including another car crashing into your car, the car spontaneously bursting into flames (unlikely but it does happen), her waking up and becoming really distressed, her vomiting/having a seizure/other sudden medical issue, a concerned passer by calling SS, her waking up and getting really upset and so on. What a remarkably careless thing to do.

WhatchaMean · 13/12/2019 18:40

This is scarey OP. Anything could've happened! Just explain to him that you're not trying to find fault with him, but you have to put the foot down on this one. I read a case in the US where a woman was charged by police, because she ran into a shop, keeping baby in line of sight the whole time and was gone for a total of 3 minutes!

FreedomfromPE · 13/12/2019 18:40

Awful the safety angle is obviously the biggest factor. But also thoughtless for her comfort isnt it? You can't put a coat on a child in a car seat, so did she have blankets over? It could have got cold very quickly bless her. She would have surely been upset if she woke as well. Poor child.

crispysausagerolls · 13/12/2019 18:40

Also it’s bloody cold at the moment. With the car switched off honestly she would have been very cold!

crispysausagerolls · 13/12/2019 18:40

@FreedomfromPE

Cross post!