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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH returning this morning after Christmas do, is that acceptable behaviour?

271 replies

username0294 · 13/12/2019 06:52

Would you be cross if your DH went out to his Christmas work do at 1815 last night and returned at 0610 this morning? Unexpectedly. He's never been on the lash this long before, just has a good night apparently. Woke me up at 4.45... I've been up ever since wondering where he is. Have to do school run and work all day...also supposed to be packing for weekend away/pet care before work. Plan was to drive 3 hours this eve - that's out the window as he won't be fit for it. Will have to go tomorrow morning instead. Not sure if I'm cross due to the nonchalance, disturbance of plans, lack of sleep or worse than that.

OP posts:
ShinyNewNameTimeAgain · 13/12/2019 06:55

As a one off I wouldn’t be too cross. I’m not quite sure from your post - is it him or you that needs to do all these things today? If you’re planning on a 3 hour drive later can’t you just drive instead?

I know it’s not great but it’s a Christmas party, people often go a bit overboard.

oohnicevase · 13/12/2019 06:57

Where do you go until 6 in the morning or n a Thursday night ?

Shantotto · 13/12/2019 06:57

I’d be furious if it meant you had to leave for your weekend away a day late!

HugeAckmansWife · 13/12/2019 06:57

Given your plans for today, YANBU. Given that you didn't know where he was and were expecting him home, YANBU. Given that it's once a year and xmas, YABU. you'll get the full range of responses on here, he's an adult, he doesn't need permission etc but I think you have to think about how your plans affect others when you are part of a family. If you aren't driving til tonight he should be OK though

Roselilly36 · 13/12/2019 06:57

I would be bloody annoyed too, very inconsiderate. Did he not let you know he was going to be really late? How would DH feel if you did the same OP?

spingly · 13/12/2019 06:58

Where was he until 6, in a club? Is he driving or working today?

I'd be pissed off at having to change plans.

user1493413286 · 13/12/2019 06:59

I’d be annoyed at not getting a message to let me know and for your plans for tonight being messed up although surely he won’t be ok to go to work so can sleep during the day?
But as a one off I wouldn’t hold it against him.

puds11 · 13/12/2019 07:01

@Shantotto the exciting lives of party people Grin Mc Donald’s?

If it’s a one off I wouldn’t mind but would have appreciated a text. If it’s frequent I’d be fuming.

selmabear · 13/12/2019 07:01

YANBU for being mad considering the plans you have for today. I would be furious too. I've had cancel plans before because DP has had a horrendous hangover. Winds you up to no end!

PhoneLock · 13/12/2019 07:03

Mine has done similar and I can't say I was unduly bothered. He doesn't make a habit of it. Like a pp said, if he isn't up to the driving later, couldn't you do it? I would.

Where do you go until 6 in the morning or n a Thursday night ?

The pub?

AlwaysCheddar · 13/12/2019 07:06

Pubs arent open until 6am!!

feelingsinister · 13/12/2019 07:08

It wouldn't bother me but I plan ahead. I wouldn't be planning to drive anywhere after a night out especially not for 3 hours.

Can you drive OP?

OverByYer · 13/12/2019 07:09

I’d rather cross but if a one off could live with it.
As PP said can’t you do the drive later?

NurseButtercup · 13/12/2019 07:09

Where do you go until 6 in the morning or n a Thursday night

Casino

nachthexe · 13/12/2019 07:10

Spent that long in many bars. Sometimes moving to people’s houses. Just drinking and chatting shit. I’m old and sensible these days and start whining to go home at 10.

Doggybiccys · 13/12/2019 07:11

Where do you go until 6 in the morning or n a Thursday night ?

A. Lap dancing bar
B. Nightclub
C. Group members house ie to extend partying
D. Group members house for sex
E. Random pick up house for sex

KingBobra · 13/12/2019 07:13

F. Group members house e.g. to watch Election results come in?

MyNewBearTotoro · 13/12/2019 07:13

Staying out that late wouldn’t bother me as a one off but it would bother me if he hadn’t been in contact to let me know not to expect him, although I can understand how it’s easy to loose track of time and get caught up in the moment when drinking.

Can you not do the driving this evening? I would leave him a list of things to pack when he wakes up later today, even if he didn’t go to bed until 6am by mid-afternoon he should be fine to wake up and get going with things.

Nuttyfellalovesnutella · 13/12/2019 07:14

F. Casino
G. Sleep at a friends house

rosegoldivy · 13/12/2019 07:15

Given your plans I'd be fuming

Any other time I would say YABU

Apolloanddaphne · 13/12/2019 07:16

Why won't he be okay to drive tonight? Do you know what he drank and when he stopped drinking? Can't you drive?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/12/2019 07:17

I'd be pissed that he hadn't let you know he wasn't coming home.

Sparklybaublefest · 13/12/2019 07:37

i dont see why he cant drive tonight?

Parky04 · 13/12/2019 07:46

Why can he drive this evening? Alcohol will be well out of his system by then.

MiniGuinness · 13/12/2019 07:46

He’ll be ok to drive tonight surely? I wouldn’t let it spoil your plans.

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