All English Mothers are Terrible

[Considermesometimes]

I urgently need some advice.

Our nanny/housekeeper has decided to return to her home country after a nasty breakdown in her marriage. I don't think she wanted to leave the UK but she will find it hard to manage on her own she says. We have been very understanding, supportive and have helped in all ways to get her through what has been a very rocky time for her, she seemed happy with her decision, and talks more positively about her home country now, she used to be very negative about it before, but now seems content with her decision. On our part we will miss her, or at least that was how I used to feel.

But I have been pretty blindsided by a comment she made to me last week, and I don't know if I am being too sensitive. She was telling me about a mother at her child's school arriving with a young baby with no shoes on, it is obviously cold, and she went on to tell me that all English mothers are terrible!! At this I said, that maybe the mother was having a bad day it happens to the best of us, it doesn't mean ALL English mothers are useless, or even that the mother she was referring to was terrible (she only has one child so does not know the stress of school runs with a small baby)
I was quite taken aback, she then carried on saying that my eldest dd (who is 15) went out with wet hair once. I was really shocked as it felt like she was criticising my parenting skills then, in a barbed way. I asked her when this was as I had never seen it, and she said 18 months ago. I felt very judged by her suddenly, and a little unsure of why she is saying these things now. I must admit I feel oddly hurt by her comments.

I came home early today, as I have been feeling really sick and will work from home, as I walked by I saw her deliberately vacuuming up my younger dd's barbie doll shoes, she was just running the vacuum over them very deliberately and they were making a horrible crackly noise as they were disappearing. My dd loves her barbies, she loves dressing them up and the shoes especially, she knows this, why would she do this? To save her picking them up?

My dogs got out at the weekend, and we live on a really busy road, and she just laughed. This isn't at all funny. I find this behaviour odd, as she always loved our dogs.

She has also started arriving late, and leaving early. I have let this go, as we only have six weeks left and I would rather not make things difficult before she goes.

I am sitting here, and I don't know what to make of any of this, whether I am being silly and it is fine, or whether I am right to feel unnerved. She is due to look after all of the dc (and dogs) when I go away for a few days, and I now don't feel comfortable. What do you think of this?

[astralweaks]

In fairness, the passive aggressive you need counselling-calm down love-have a wee rest-are you using the nice nurse’s laptop again?-are you 15? points to there being no smoke without fire.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

It seems really strange that posters have turned against the OP so forcefully. Just comes across as odd: the ferocity.

Regardless of class issues/condescension etc this situation is a no-brainer.

OP obviously you need to end her employment with you, it’s plain to see and any further discussion is pointless - you have your answer.

[SVRT19674]

No more headspace, money she is owed and out. That's how terrible English mothers are. My English mother is really nice thanks. Best mom I've ever had, actually...

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

It seems really strange that posters have turned against the OP so forcefully. Just comes across as odd: the ferocity

^ this!

And at my previous comment being deleted too

[Aridane]

I agree with @Havaina

[SeaEagleFeather]

Atrocious that's why (having had experience of modding forums and seeing what goes on behind the scenes) I'm pretty sure there's just a couple of posters who are name changing a lot and trying to create some wierd outrage

Everyone needs a hobby I guess.

[TatianaLarina]

I’m not sure that posters have ‘turned against her’. It seems more like a group of posters/sock puppets have turned up with an existing grudge.