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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be offended she implied I wasn’t slim

216 replies

Rumblebumble · 02/12/2019 21:11

Met a school mum/friend for coffee today and said in passing that I was surprised high street fashion could be so hit and miss on sizing and that it was so demoralising ‘even for someone relatively slim like me’.

Didn’t mean it as a boast or anything like that (said mum is probably a size 8 but not really thin) and to my horror she replied ‘but a size 10-12 is hardly slim for your height (5ft6) is it’!

I’m just flabbergasted- just didn’t know what to say or how to feel. Made me feel like a giant elephant.

OP posts:
Booboosweet · 02/12/2019 22:42

She was a rude bitch.

LolaSmiles · 02/12/2019 22:43

hotwaterbottle01
I'm an 8-10 and would describe myself as slim because I've got quite a small frame. What I wouldn't do is describe myself as slim to other people because I generally find that clothing sizes and weight seem to fall into a similar category as finance where there's often no winning and people who are insecure, in denial or generally inclined towards whining and being offended will find something to complain about.

Eg. I joked with a friend (where we do laugh about these things) about gaining lots of weight in pregnancy despite throwing half my meals up. Sure enough a colleague not involved in the joke and conversation took it upon themselves to inform me that I'm still super skinny, there's nothing on me, she's bigger than me and isn't even pregnant. Hmm

PullingMySocksUp · 02/12/2019 22:44

The wording of the ‘size 8 but not really thin’ is hard to work out.
Could mean ‘size 8 but not extremely thin’
Or ‘size 8 but not particularly thin’.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/12/2019 22:46

Size 12 is below the average size 16!

The statement that size 16 is the average, if that's true, is horrifying. The obesity crisis is crippling our society and the NHS.

Your friend wasn't very graceful in what she said, but she isn't wrong given your height.

Womenwotlunch · 02/12/2019 22:48

Tbh-
When will people learn that size is not really a good indicator of how one looks.
I have seen women who are a size 8 but look chubby to me. I have seen others who are size 14 , but look slim. We all carry weight differently

Magicpaintbrush · 02/12/2019 22:52

Nobody seems to be taking into account build or body shape. The same dress size can look completely different on different people. At a size 10 I look gaunt and ill, it doesn't suit me and my boobs disappear - I even got asked if I had an eating disorder (!). It's pointless to generalise, we are all different.

GorgonzolaTombola · 02/12/2019 22:53

@MistyCloud I am late 30s and have regularly been IDed, not just IDed but to the point of outright disbelief and almost booted out of the shop for attempting to buy wine.

Well, I was until 2019 hit. After a crap year now I don't get IDed, they just look at me with pity and remind me that I can 25% off 6 bottles Grin I guess it's all about the margins.

YouSawThePlans · 02/12/2019 22:53

Size 16 is average but it just means that the average woman is obese (since the average height is 5' 3" )

Rubyroost · 02/12/2019 22:54

Huh? I think 10/12 is slim. 8/10 is thin. Why on earth can't a woman say she is slim without being accused of bragging etc. Seriously, women should stick together, not bicker amongst ourselves. "well you're not slim." Hmm

SerenDippitty · 02/12/2019 22:56

Yes, two people of the same height and weight can look completely different depending on frame size, fat distribution and body shape. I’ve always looked slimmer than my weight would suggest because I’m an l
hourglass shape, even fat distribution and have long legs relative to my body.

TheyWentToSeaInASieve · 02/12/2019 22:57

What about the ladies who have a small waste AND bum, but have to size up for enormous boobs? I am talking size G (at no point considering this a thing to brag about either, more to be embarrassed by!) Where do we get pigeonholed?

Jocasta2018 · 02/12/2019 22:57

I think that counts as a 'Meow!' comment if ever there was one..!!!
The woman's either a mega-bitch or completely lacking in social graces. Personally I'd avoid her for a bit...

Whoops75 · 02/12/2019 22:57

YABU
I hate this kind of girl talk crap
She probably wanted to shut down the conversation.

BillieEilish · 02/12/2019 22:58

12 is not slim, that's why!

Millymollymandybestie · 02/12/2019 22:58

It’s not humble brags people have different perceptions of slim - to me an athletic figure which is straight up and down is slim. An hour glass figure is curvy (which you can have as and 8 or a 16) not slim but doesn’t mean overweight,where as some people will describe overweight people as curvy. Also I do think sizing has got bigger quite noticeably recently - I mean what’s going on with primarks sizing ?
Height also play a big part somewhere is 5’11 would be could be slim in a size 12 but some 5’1 you bay not even describe as slim in a size 8.
I would use skinny / slim interchangeably - some people would not they would use skinny as underweight and slim as healthy.

PhoneLock · 02/12/2019 22:58

What a!out the ladies who have a small waste AND bum

TMI Shock

LolaSmiles · 02/12/2019 22:59

TheyWentToSeaInASieve
Probably in the camp with the rest of us who deploy common sense, accept that we all come in different shapes/sizes and that it's probably good different shops cater for different builds instead of all falling to the demands of "but the average woman is slightly overweight so you should all cater for our self esteem issues" and creating same old bland tailoring.

Vulpine · 02/12/2019 23:00

The moral of the story it seems is don't ever say you're slim to someone slimmer than you!

BillieEilish · 02/12/2019 23:05

Live abroad for a few years and come back... it is horrifying! It honestly is.

Perspective is needed if UK 12 is seen as slim.

Fozzleyplum · 02/12/2019 23:06

I never understand why, on threads like this, people keep banging on about what size they buy, without posting an accurate height and weight.There is inconsistency in sizing between retailers and many clothes have a high lycra content nowadays or are cut loose, with little shaping. That means that anyone who is determined to keep the number on the size label as low as possible, can keep on saying " I'm a size X". I am 5'8" and weigh 10 st 3. I am between a 10 and 12 in jeans and structured clothes from, e.g.,Boden and M&S, but could easily get into a much smaller size in, say, leggings and a loose top.

I think a lot of people are intent on kidding themselves.

HotSince82 · 02/12/2019 23:08

I've honestly never equated height with dress size. I'm 5'9 but my i side leg is 36'' so surely my size 10/12 body looks proprtionate to somebody else's 10/12 body just with longer, thinner legs.

Thats how its always seemed to me.

If I had a longer torso I'd probably be a size smaller overall I'd kill for a nice, long torso

Yestermost · 02/12/2019 23:14

I'm a 12 to 14 and 5' 6" I am overweight no way is a 12 slim.

CamembertIt · 02/12/2019 23:24

Ridiculous. Size 12 is different on different heights and body shapes. I would say on most people that a size 10-12 would look slim at 5ft 6. Size 8 is what I would term thin or skinny. Regardless of whether you carry size 12 as slim or more curvy, she was rude as fuck.

CamembertIt · 02/12/2019 23:26

I'm 5"7 and currently a size 16 and definitely overweight. At a size 10-12, I was definitely slim - a fact commented on by plenty of people at the time. At a 14, I was "normal".

Bellaxx8 · 02/12/2019 23:26

Size 12 is below the average size 16! Why is everyone saying size 12 is average?!

Because size 16 is just plain fat?! Just because it’s an national average doesn’t mean it looks average, it looks fat.

Size 12 is more an average look with 8-10 being on the slim side. Size 6 is thin.