To be offended she implied I wasn’t slim

[Rumblebumble]

Met a school mum/friend for coffee today and said in passing that I was surprised high street fashion could be so hit and miss on sizing and that it was so demoralising ‘even for someone relatively slim like me’.

Didn’t mean it as a boast or anything like that (said mum is probably a size 8 but not really thin) and to my horror she replied ‘but a size 10-12 is hardly slim for your height (5ft6) is it’!

I’m just flabbergasted- just didn’t know what to say or how to feel. Made me feel like a giant elephant.

[Millymollymandybestie]

I’m was a 10-12 pre kids I’m now a 8-10 and still wouldn’t describe myself as slim. I have a waist, hips and boobs.

[FreeButtonBee]

Yeah. I am 5’3 and 11st and comfortably wear 12s all over high street. I am am pretty fit (2x hard core spin classes a week) but not slim. Fit and I have muscle but i defo need to lose a stone to be anything approaching normal, never mind slim.

I don’t disagree with the high street being all over the place but I would really only consider slim to be the small size 10/always size 8s. Not me who cane get into a 10 on a good day (looking at you hush!)

[PullingMySocksUp]

I agree, Delatron the OP said she was ‘relatively slim’ to be not boastful. What she said was fine.

[OpheliaHardon]

Very rude of her. She should have smiled and nodded.

That said, a 10-12 is more like a 12-14 in real money, so while it's possibly normal/average for someone of 5 foot 6 (I don't know, as I'm 5 foot 1, and would look like a bungalow if I were anything other than very slender), I can't imagine it being 'slim'.

[HarrietTheFly]

I think we need to get over the vanity sizing thing. It did happen I'm sure but it's done now. Today's 12 is a 12 today. I'm a 4-6 and maybe a million years ago that would have made me an 8-10 but I live now. I think I'm underweight at the moment and trying to gain. I look and feel healthiest at a size 8 - a today's size 8. That's my body type though. We are all different. 12 is the biggest I've been and I looked overweight. My mum looks slim and healthy when she's a size 12, she's shorter than me but has a totally different body shape. I don't think clothes size is an accurate judge on anyone, but I do think your friend was rude.

[BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo]

But in your own words OP you said she was “probably a size 8 but not really thin” so you class her as slim and not thin, and as you are 1 or 2 sizes bigger than her, she classes you as normal/average and not slim! Sounds like you both have the measure of each other!

[Sparklfairy]

10-12 at your height is slim she's a daft cow. Surely you're only not slim once your BMI goes into overweight anyway?

Fwiw, I'm 5ft6 and even when I lost a lot of weight due to illness and dropped to 8.5 stone (almost underweight), I still couldn't fit into size 10 jeans. Stuck firmly at a 12.

I was quite put out as I thought I looked gaunt! I just have big hips shrug

[LolaSmiles]

Edith it was only a matter of time. Some people get really het up over the idea that companies will manipulate sizing to make people feel good in order to maximize profits.
What seems obvious, is well documented, and is common sense is a big no no because some people have quite a fragile sense of wearing the "correct number". Few people ever complain about sizing when they take smaller numbers than they're expecting, but woe betide any company who caters for slimmer/more athletic builds.

Eg. I love next for wide leg trousers. Their sizing is a little generous on my frame so as an 8-10 I generally take an 8 there. Their more bootcut trousers or chinos look stupid on me because their cut doesnt suit my frame.
Solution: I buy my chinos/ 7/8 trousers from H&M where as an 8-10 I generally take a 10. I accept different places will cut to different models and shapes and get the hell over it because my sense of self isn't wrapped up in the number on my clothes.

Some women however will know they are overweight, know they have larger hips/thighs, walk into shops known for catering to slimmer build people, pick up a pair of super skinny jeans in the size they take in other shops, then make a big fuss about how the skinny jeans in a shop typically tailoring for narrower hips doesn't fit, how awful to have your self esteem ruined and with it campaigns to change sizing to make people feel better (thesr people conveniently will insist vanity sizing does exist... As they push for more shops to size with their self esteem in mind)

[Magicpaintbrush]

Why people even give any headspace to what dress size other people are is beyond me. Maybe their time would be better spent minding their own bloody business.

[KatharinaRosalie]

What Betty said - (unless she's considerably shorter) how can she be a 'not thin' 8, and you can be slim at 2 sizes bigger?

[Brimful]

But in your own words OP you said she was “probably a size 8 but not really thin”

Odd, huh? It's almost like the OP has started a deliberately goady thread about size, stepping back to giggle at the women being competitive about how they're allowed to describe themselves, harking back to 'real sizes' of the dainty 1900s.

[LolaSmiles]

Magicpaintbrush
I agree, but some people are very bothered about other people's size because it allows them to frame their own size in comparison.
Some people are very invested in having the right number in their clothing, going to a shop and having their idea of their size confirmed etc.

I always think clothes sizing is such an open strategy of getting customers to part with cash (up there with beauty products for problems you never knew you had until a product was made to fix it, pumping bread smells through the supermarket to get you to the bakery) that it almost confuses me that more people don't see it for what it is: shops designing strategies that they think will make them money.

The sooner we all accept that, acknowledge we come in different shapes, sizes and builds and stop clinging to the idea that shops are there to validate our self esteem issues the better

[Runningonempty84]

I think you were the one being a bit odd here by describing yourself as "slim." She was probably put off by your humblebragging...

[Cremebrule]

She was rude but I think you did sort of set yourself for a comment back. Was the point you were trying to make that some places the sizing was small so it made you feel crap? If so, you could have sounded a bit annoying depending on how you said it.

Eg - oh it’s just so hard with size variation even for someone relatively slim like me, I had to try a 12 (tinkly laugh and gasp of horror) = probably annoying.

Oh it’s so hard with size variation. I can never be sure if trousers from x (probably H&M because they’re always weirdly sized...) will actually go over my thighs and I’m relatively average sized so must be harder for those who are borderline. = probably less annoying

[Hepsibar]

Oh blimey, try not to bother about the silliness of all this ... good manners cost nothing and are unobtainable by some people regardless of education, wealth, poverty or thinness!

[PhoneLock]

OP Maybe try toning up.

[Lucked]

You said relatively slim, presumably relative to the average UK woman of your height so you were correct.

I think you sound like a healthy weight and I equate that as slim. Regardless she was rude. Tact and sensitivity is required in all conversions touching in weight.

[iloveleeds]

Depends on age , I never thought I would be size 10-12 after 2 kids , and 41 yes I am . Yet I'm not slim , and 5"8 . That's not slim

[YouSawThePlans]

It sounds rude but I wonder if she thought your problem with sizing was caused by you confusing average and slim.
I wouldn't think a size 10/12 was slim. Generally it puts you in the middle of a healthy weight range. I'd think size 8 and under was slim.

[IdblowJonSnow]

To me 5,6 is a giant and so 10 - 12 sounds slim, definitely.

[Hadenoughofitall441]

As long as your happy that’s all that matters, people comment on my size all the time and I couldn’t give one, it has no bearing on me as a person. I always quip something back if needs be. But 99% it goes over my head.

[Hotwaterbottle01]

So lots of 8-10s on here but wouldn’t describe themselves as slim? 🤔

Well no hope for me then I must be the only size 16 on here or possibly the U.K.?!

So what’s a 14? Seems an unpopular size 😂 slightly bigger than people who are not ‘slim’ and one foot in the fat camp?

[BillieEilish]

12 slim? seriously?

I don't give a fuck but a 12 at OP's height IS NOT slim!

[Booboosweet]

ffs I am a size 12 and I am not a heifer. Why are size 8 people saying they don't consider themselves slim? Humblebrag. Bloody ridiculous.

[BillieEilish]

It's not fat and not thin. It's normalish. It's 'uncommentable'/average etc