Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

I assume SIL has a four week old now? If so, I guess I would cut her some slack - she's probably near-catatonic and not thinking straight , and was wound up by your MIL.

Oops I missed the fact that DH is now saying leave the highchair at home to avoid drama.
Oh dear. Start of never-ending nonsense.
DH needs to support you.

Simple choice: high chair goes to MILs or no-one goes to MILs

Stay at home, life is too short to be dealing with that sort of shite.

Dear motherfucking Christ. Do you actually even want to be part of the same family as this lot, because I can’t even…
Please tell me you’re going to make some kind of stand over this and not give in to it, OP. Biggest load of bollocking batshittery in the history of bollocking batshittery, and that’s saying something!
Stay home!

You will need two highchairs. One for your child at the table,and one for your MIL,in the kitchen,out of the way. !

BAnanas! I'd take it anyway and tell them my child won't be excluded as it's not like any adults are told they have to eat on the floor
Besides which the 8 week old can go in a bumbo on the chair between its parents

They are batshit. I would decline the invite and stay at home if they want to be weirdos.

So basically DH is choosing to upset you instead of his mother.

How nice of him..........

I think at this stage I wouldn't even respond other than to text and say you'll be spending Christmas elsewhere as your baby needs to eat and you don't want the other baby to feel left out watching him. Utter madness

Bet if it were the other way around - with SIL’s baby the weaning one - this wouldn’t be an issue and she would be allowed a highchair. I bet this the beginning of a load of competitive nonsense that sometimes sadly comes with cousins close in age.
Don’t stand for it, OP.

Nip this in the bud now or it will only get worse. How ridiculous.

they sound insane. i would re-consider going there!!!

Agree with everyone else this is nuts. I don’t know how she expects you to manage your DS, are you expected to let your dinner go cold whilst baby sits on your knee at the table and reaches for the cut glass and candles whilst blowing raspberries over everyone’s foods and picking up your pigs in blankets from your plate and squelching then through his fingers?

Or should she see sense and let baby sit in a high chair and watch his family with his own plate of mush and out of arms reach of anything that can hurt him?

WTAF.
Are they for real?!
It's hardly leaving the 8 week old out is it! They're at different stages in their life. DIL sounds like she wants everything to be about her and her new baby.
I'd take the highchair with me and feed my DC. Shall he miss out on a meal because the 8 week old can't have solids yet?

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here! YANBU. It's just a functional bit of furniture.

What the ever loving fuck? This is MENTAL.

Is your DH's sibling the favourite? It sounds like your MIL already has a golden grandchild

Sod Prenups.. I'm beginning to think that we should start getting extended families to sign Christmas Behaviour Agreements. Loving the "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" refs..

Baby's first Christmas and he won't be allowed to enjoy his dinner :(

The memories with my DS would be more precious to me than people pleasing. Think I'd stay at home or put my foot down/DH puts foot down.

I have never heard something so ludicrous! You bring that highchair!!!

You don’t say anywhere how old ds is but I’m guessing he must be at least 8mo by xmas if you’re weaning now.
He will need to eat food. By far the safest way to eat is sitting up in a high chair. Where do they want him to eat his lunch?

Take one in the car with you.

Make a deal with DH - you'll leave it in there as long as he agrees that the baby sits on his lap at lunch.

Wait approx. 47 seconds after lunch is served, then watch your DH sprint to the car.

I've had a 7mo and a 7wo on (separate) Christmas Days, and developmentally they're on different planets. The 7mo was at the table, busy coating the highchair in a film of gravy. The 7wo was asleep in a Moses basket on top of a cabinet, where she could not be reached by an aunt's overexcited dog Babies of these ages are not the same and should not be treated as such!

SIL can have the 8wk old in a car seat on a chair if she really insists.

My big worry for you @Nobhobs is this is just the beginning. I think you make it very clear high chair or their grandchild won't be there. I'd be tempted to do the latter to put a very clear line in the sand over this nonsense competitive behaviour. I'm so shocked anyone could even think the way your inlaws do. It's absurd.

Whhhhhhhhhat?? this is one of the more loopy things I've read on here, but for BOTH of them to think it?? Even loopier.

My sil tries to make my dd sit alone off to the side so there’s more room for the adults.
Nope! She can squash in next to me as I’m at the end .
People are just odd, op