Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

This is unreal..
My DD will be 7 months. She would go mad if I left her in another room. Even if the tv was on. It would take her 10 mins before she realised she wasn't with everyone. So she will be at the dinner table with us.
Can the 8 week old not go in a rocker/swing?

The only way I got my dinner in peace when I had an 18 month and a baby was to have the baby in her bouncer or on my knee AT the table with us. Suggest your SIL brings her baby bouncer.

I reckon your MIL isn't concerned about your baby hogging the limelight and neither is your SIL. They were both hoping to have one more adult only Christmas dinner while the "babies" nap.

Calmly walk backwards away from this situation it sounds bonkers!!! I wouldn't even know where to start dealing with this.

Loopy as silly string, the lot of them. Take along a portable clip on highchair and pass the weaned child to the cockatrice den MiL to manage on her lap. When she struggles, produce the chair and offer to contain the child in it.

Theres been no input from the op for about 7 pages?

They are bat shit crazy they pick the baby up if they want it in a picture. What would they do if your baby was a toddler and sitting at the table eating. Don’t get involved in the madness . Have dinner at home without the crazy people.

Batshit.
I'd stay at home and have my own Christmas, thus setting the pattern for all future Christmas. Christmas at home with your DH and baby - visits to ILs/DPs etc take place on another day.
No fucking way I'd be putting up with that. There will be some issue every Christmas for the rest of your lives.

Either that or you take the high chair, march into their house with it and baby sits in it. End of story.

But no.. Christmas at home sounds much more appealing.

So how is your baby supposed to eat his meals?

And what happens if your baby walks and talks first (probably will). Have you got to stuff him in a cupboard?

That is fucking ridiculous. To not sit your baby, who is consuming solid food, at the dinner table because an 8 week old (who can’t sit up unaided, let alone eat!) can’t do it too?
Are they going to do this with regards to every milestone your child reaches before the other one?
It would annoy me so much that I wouldn’t bother to go, tbh.

I've never in all my wildest days, heard anything so implausibly, madly, ridiculous! This is a joke, I'm telling you. A joke!

I would say to them that it is ok we are not bringing the highchair, as we are not coming!

Hopefully it's because she's on the phone to MiL to tell her she's packing her highchair!

Take the high chair, put it up at the table & give mil a challenge me if you dare look, threaten your husband with no sex for a year if he panders to his mum. She is batshit crazy & you need to stand up to her or she will walk all over you for the rest if her life.

What would upset me most here is the manipulative way in which your MIL has twisted and positioned a totally normal thing in such a way as to paint you as bad guys. Bonkers.

I wouldn't bring the high chair against her wishes as you'll just give her more ammunition.

I'd get your husband to say that if it's a problem you'll stay at home as DS will be whingy/disruptive/whatever if he's not eating at the table and would spoil the meal for everyone which you wouldn't want.

FFS, how can an 8 week old baby be excluded?!

You must take the highchair. They are being crazy. Can your child not walk until their younger child does. Not crawl until he/she does.

Please don't give in to this nonsense, doing things like that is the reason problems get bigger over the years and people think others should do as they say.

Who makes this much drama over the bloody dinner? Ridiculous and it doesn't make you feel welcome at all. The 8 week old won't give a shiny shit whereas your child can be made welcome at the table and has a chance to join in the festivities. The other child can join next year and if there is another baby then will also be banned from the table!

Families are fucking mental!

TabbyMumz

^.

That's what I thought. Maybe they had to go back to class

Your inlaws sound utterly batshit. I wouldn’t go.

This is one of the most ridiculous things iv ever heard why would it even enter anyone’s head. I’d stay at home and avoid the drama.

Fuck me, i’ve read some mad shit on here in my time, but this has to be the all-time winner.

The 8 week old literally won’t have a scooby that they’re being ‘left out’. MIL and SIL are insane.

I agree with others that this is likely a golden child/grandchild warm-up. You must squash it, hard, now, or forever be caught up in the insanity. If they do not do an immediate about-face stay home for Xmas.

@Nobhobs

Sounds like you will be the bad guy either way:

Don't take the highchair and submit to their abusive and bullying behaviour

Take the high chair and upset SIL

Don't attend this meal all together and spoil Christmas for everyone

...
I am afraid there isn't a solution for this issue. For sure as other posters have suggested this is just the beginning of a lot of nonsense behaviour that will follow in the future. I think whatever you decide you need to make sure your husband is on board and he's behind your back.

Personally I would not make any comments and tell my husband to let his mother know that I shall be bringing a highchair for my child, end of conversation. Make sure you explain to your husband that you wish no harm, you are far away from being stubborn or attempting to create a conflict and that you are only doing what's safe for your child and right for his needs at his age.

I wonder what's supposed to happen if, say, this time next year it's you with the tiny baby? Will both the toddlers still be banished to the floor?

Your problem is that your husband actually entertained this nonsense. If, the first time his MIL produced this gem, he'd fallen about laughing and said "You got me, for one moment I thought you were serious" it might have brought her back to reality.

Decline the invite and don't give it another thought, no point in taking a baby somewhere that doesn't allow the equipment needed for you to enjoy the meal.

Your DH sounds like a wet nellie, why isn't he supporting you?

www.uberkids.com/childhome-evolu-newborn-seat-cushion-2007126/?sku=CHOCUS/CHM/147433&istCompanyId=37dca0b5-f08f-460a-9189-9153d7108287&istFeedId=b9ff17e0-1a2f-4169-bb0c-0c815ad88867&istItemId=itmprwlix&istBid=t&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=Cj0KCQiAoIPvBRDgARIsAHsCw0-3i4kSry_xw9TSfRL5cjy7XOgMaHqayxW8T4GlOlprrE4MotFrQyUaAlGkEALw_wcB

Idea in link to get highchair type seat for younger baby too.