Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

I don't know what to say that is crackers (gettit)

^^

Sorry.

So don't take the highchair, then when your DS plays up just as you start the dinner pass him serenely to MIL and say 'oh yes, you said not to bring the high chair'

Asking she's planning on feeding the 8 week old Christmas dinner so he's not left out? Or is your son to starve in sympathy? Both answers are a no. Take the high chair, don't ask her, don't tell her- you take what your child needs. Not her baby, not her decision. It doesn't even need a discussion.

Oh, and if you do go, take the chair anyway.

He's your child, you get to say where he sits.

Wow - this has really got me going - and I'm not even involved. I detect golden grandchild syndrome too.

I would say to her 'if you are saying my child cannot be fed and join in a Christmas meal with his family because another of your grandchildren is too young to, I'd rather not be there.'

And it underlines all my prejudices about precious traditions - 'the Christmas meal photo.' For fuck sake. Christmas is about fun and laughter and love - not point scoring how many children are in a bleedin photo.

My mad sister did this once. She has no children and complained to my mother how many photos of the grandchildren there were on the walls of my Mum's house - which wasn't fair to her as she didn't have children. I think as a result she thought there should be more pictures of her - because it meant her sisters were getting more of the limelight (she had been round counting them all). She asked me wasn't I upset too - as I didn't have children then. I said 'NO! because the photos aren't points for my other sisters they are real people in my family who I love.'

This could be the tip of a very stupid iceberg. I can imagine in the future your dc not being allowed to bring scooter to the park with them because the younger dgc can’t ride one yet... etc.

So this! Will your child not be allowed to ride a bike without stabilisers because the cousin can’t? Or start driving lessons at 17 because his cousin isn’t yet 17? Wtf are they on about, it isn’t fair? Utter shite!

Take the high chair for you own child, and a Pyrex dish to serve the 8 week old on the table.

When he kicks off, please shout "nobody puts baby in a corner", hoick him aloft and then break into a dance routine

^^

And this. With Christmas bells on

Why don’t I get this at Xmas! Mines just standard and now boring in comparison to a highchair bun fight

Literally heard it all now.

Your MIL is shit stirring - she was the one that told your SIL that you were excluding her newborn and got her all outraged.

This is the beginning of all the MIL's bullshit favouritism and you need to nip it in the bud before the babies get any bigger.

I would also completely Christmas-fy the hot chair. Tinsel around the legs, baubles attached, a nice Christmas plate and bib saying 'my first Christmas'. Go out.

Beyond crazy. Harks back to a time when kids were dumped on the kids table. How old do you need to be to "qualify" for a spot at the table I. Her view? If they are d enough to sit in a high chair they should be at the table in my book, in fact I had a reclining high chair and mine "sat" at the table from about 2-3 months (obviously not eating)

I'd just stay home and avoid the barmy IL's altogether.

In your position OP I would thank my lucky stars that I was given a heads up on this nonsense of a family Christmas Day meal, it would be sending my anxiety sky high already, this is just the start of their batshittery.
Get out now, while you still can and enjoy a relaxed and peaceful Christmas at home with your DS happy in his high chair.

The photo thing is just bollocks... what she really means is "They'll be fawning over OPs baby at the table whilst my baby is sleeping". They all know how this sounds so they've come up with a crap excuse. I think you need to gently remind your DH that his priority is his sons comfort. He needs to go back to his mum and tell her that your DS needs to be able to eat and maybe the solution is for DN to be held at the table by SIL if they're that worried about him being left out. Your DH needs to stick up to them... if not your DS is going to get the shit end of the stick for rest of his life from them.

Was SIL this batshit before the baby?

This is so odd. How can they not want him to be in his high chair?

It isn't leaving out another baby if their development isn't there yet, they are welcome to hold their baby. Why is the mother even saying you're leaving out their baby by wanting your own to be able to eat with you?

I've never seen something so odd. Are these people crazy?

This is insane. Why were you even discussing it? Your child needs a highchair not even any need to discuss.

I'd stay home and avoid the shitshow that MIL is encouraging.

People amaze me with their batshit behaviour.

I think this is the most nuts thing I’ve ever read on here. And there is some serious competition! OP, I would be clear, with both your in laws and your husband. Either the chair comes, or you and baby don’t . It really is as simple as that.

I'd just turn up with the high chair and crack on.

Bat shit crazy, both of them!

Pick up the phone and speak to your SIL.

Is this going to happen at every stage with every child born in the family from now on? Child 1 starts walking but isn't allowed to as child 2 is still crawling and would be left out?
Up to them to include the 8 week old in the photos, it's nothing to do with if your child sits in the high chair! Really weird reaction from them - but let's face it once a certain type of mother and daughter are united in offence you're up against a brick wall probably.

Sorry OP, I’m sure this isn’t funny for you but it’s made my day in terms of ‘bat shittedness’ . Decorate his high chair like a Christmas throne and have him wearing a crown at the dinner table.

It's shocking that there's two separate people that think it's a perfectly normal request.

Really batshit!

What do they propose you do with your baby when dinner is happening? And also, when are you 'allowed' to feed him, and how?

This is just nuts!