Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

This is crazy. Make your ultimatum clear to both MIL and SIL. Imagine saying that to you. Bonkers!!

@nicenewdusters

Totally batshit crazy

I second what auradal says with extra Christmas bells on.

I am over invested in the outcome on this one!

Oh crikey ....,my life is over.
I’m now following this thread.

Me too @RandomMess 😅

The thread has made it in to the Sun, I doubt we’ll hear back from the op now I

Op why arnt you going to your parents who sound warm, friendly, understanding and accommodating?.. Why are you going to in laws. Won't your parents be hurt and upset?.
If my dd started saying this to me I'd be really upset thinking why are you spending Xmas with unreasonable unkind people...

How amusing that this one has 100% support in favour of not taking any of this batshit behaviour from the in-laws. I hope you have the strength to say to your husband, to tell his family you will be bringing your baby stuff or not going at all. Your baby, your choice. They are behaving very stupidly.

My husband's brother's wife has never ever forgiven me for usurping her pregnancy ('first-born grandchild') with my own (didn't realise I was pregnant). So our son is the first-born, and while we couldn't give a toss about this kind of family status shit, she is incandescent, and is always comparing them both and family events have become so competitive, we try and keep our distance as much as we can.

Just thank your lucky stars your in-laws are just that. It sounds like you'd be better off cutting down contact as much as possible in future. As one PP said, controllable behaviour will only get worse if you let this thing be a thing.

And 8 week old and a 6m+ old 'playing nicely on the floor'? Ha! Yeah right. The 8 week old will by lying there as 8 week olds do and the older baby will be rolling about possibly bashing into/squashing/annoying the younger one. ^The horror.
^
More likely the older one will be creating merry hell because he wants to be with his parents and having his dinner!

Twice, in my family I have been the one with the younger baby. My cousin and I had both of ours within months of each other. First time hers was 9m and mine was 6m at Christmas. Needs much the same in this respect by that point and they both sat in high chairs and we all wrangled them between us as best we could so we all got to eat. They did 'play nicely' a little bit, but not much! Second time, last year, my cousins new baby was 7m and mine was 11 weeks. So mine was tiny and hers much older, he sat up in a high chair and nibbled at bits. We just put mine in a bouncy chair by my seat and gave her toys. I think she fell asleep actually.

I don't think she felt left out. Her big sister kept trying to feed her pigs in blankets anyway. I'll ask her when she's older

@gokartdillydilly goodness that sounds exhausting! What is the age difference?

@bloggersblog 2 months. They are now in their 20s and still it goes on. We see her once a year for as short a time as possible. Her cheek, and her demanding, egotistical, superior, argumentative and competitive behaviour is indeed exhausting, hence our brief visitations. Sadly (or, rather, gladly, but sad cos we don't see them as much because of her) BIL and the children are lovely.

Fuck the sun. Excuse my french.

We've decided to go to my parents instead, purely because I can't be bothered to humour this situation, especially at DS' expense

Excellent update OP.
Very sensible you don't want 20 years of this nonsense.

Great update. Actions have consequences.

Please let us know the reaction when the arseholes find out.

Do come back and tell us how your ILs take the news!!

Good for you. Nipping this bollocks in the bud is the right choice. They'll get all pissy. Meh.

Good decision.

Good for you

Well done @Nobhobs! no shit being taken at all! Enjoy your Christmas Day and if your ILs kick off, do let us know cos that would be highly amusing.

Perhaps they read the sun and already know... result :D

How did the in laws take the news?

Great decision :) Let us know how your Xmas goes

Excellent call op. Well done at not being dragged into the batshit behaviour

Excellent update, have you told the in-laws yet?