Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

This is hilarious.
Dear sil when you say play together- my active 6 mo old will either try to eat your baby or poke their eyes out. If this is really what you want?

OP

You should take this thread and make it into a pantomime, yu would make a fortune.

MIL played by Christopher Biggins trying to stuff a 6 month old into a moses basket with his cousin.

A sort of mad hatter's tea party where people pass the babies and the food so someone ends up nursing the sprouts and 8 week old is on the table.

I wouldn't go. Your baby won't be content on the floor. You can't feed him on the floor, he's not a dog. It will make a mess, he will cry and want to be lifted, it will be stressful.
You mil and sil are proper batshit and I wouldn't go along with it for a second. It will just set a precedent for how they treat your ds.

Go to your mum's. "We'll give it a miss this year. Ds and dn are developmentally at different stages and while it might be suitable for dn to lie on the floor DS can't spend lunch doing this. He needs to eat and he sits at the table to eat like the rest of us. Enjoy your day, see you some other time."

They are batshit!!!!

That's insane!!!! My 4 month old isn't weaned yet but he still loves to sit in his high chair with his toys! I wouldn't go that's so unreasonable.

Wow 😂 absolutely Christmas crackers..

Definitely going to float the baby centrepiece idea by cousin whose little one will also be 8wks at Christmas

Definitely do Christmas at your parents and enjoy with DC!

Another saying don't go!

More importantly, you and DH need to make clear that you won't play along with setting up competition between your son and his cousin (which is what this comes down to). Both will have their own talents and own areas to shine as they grow up, and that should be celebrated instead of comparing them with each other.

They, including your dh for entertaining, are completely weird or very deferral to MIL/SIL.

I, and my family, must be horrible as one tiny dc will be in a bouncer on the floor while the others including another baby eat dinner with us.

Your ILs are bing over precious to the other baby and not allowing your child to have an age appropriate dinner experience favouring the feelings of your brother and sister in law - over your own feelings and your child's feelings
I wouldn't entertain this, I'd say don't worry we've arranged to go to my parents instead, perhaps next year when both babies are in high chairs it will be more equitable for both babies
Don't reward their unreasonable behaviour, you'll always be cowtowing to them

Unanimous

Actually thinking about it this needs to be nipped in the bud right now. They are massively putting non existent needs of the other child above the real needs of your own child. This is not an acceptable pattern to get into.

One of the harder parts of parenting no one tells you about is that sticking up for your own child sometimes pisses off other adults. You can’t be a good mother and a people pleaser.

Oh well that has made me feel a bit better about my in-laws.

They are batshit, grin and bear it. Take your high chair and buy your SIL one of those travel high chairs that clip on to the table as a Xmas present. Just ignore them and carry on.

This has made the press this morning. Very odd as it's not even a slow news day.

I'm rolling my eyes at all the posters saying still go and take the high chair or insist the older baby is sat on everyone's knees in turn. Why the fuck should they go. The idiot in-laws do not deserve the joy of the older baby at Christmas

Op your own choice, your only sensible choice, is to go to your parents for Christmas. Anything else and you are being doormatty to let your in-laws dismiss your baby forever.

A unanimous vote for in-laws and SIL being bonkers. Like so many others unfortunately I think this may be the very thin end of a very thick wedge.

Have they considered the difference between leaving the two babies on the floor? Yours can most likely move, and grab and put things in his mouth, so there may be a safety issue on-top of your completely understandable wish to have him at the table...

I worry for you OP that there will be ridiculous comparisons between, and expectations of, the babies e.g. comments on your son's personality and your parenting when he has a tricky moment, (which a normal person knows is to be expected). No one needs this shit on Christmas Day.

@Scrumptiousbears There’s been a few lately that have had me wondering, this was definitely one.

So are you still going? I've lost track!

I love the idea that an 8 week old will be playing nicely on the floor. Surely your MIL can work out that 8 week olds don't play, let alone interact with 6 month olds?

Yoir DH is an ass, another DS who can’t stand up for his own family. Can’t believe he suggested lets not make a drama. Immediately making you the problem by putting your foot down, as by you putting your foot down means he has to do something. He would rather say your being difficult than challenge this stupidity. As for the SIL , there are no words. Stick to your guns and in truth if it was me I would have already contacted my parents and made alternative plans.

Link to The Sun article.

And on the Mamas and Papas website the first item recommended for a relaxed Christmas is...... a high chair

Another solution: bring two highchairs - surely they wouldn’t want yours feeling left out being the only baby in one... It doesn’t matter that their dc isn’t ready for one because they need to be equal.

Tell them straight that you will not under any circumstances neglect your own child's needs. They shouldn't be able to argue with this.

OK, don't bring the highchair, and if DS doesn't nap, plonk him on MIL's lap, say "Oh he wants Grandma" and enjoy your meal while DS causes havoc reaching for MIL's knife, knocking over her wine glass and eating half her stuffing

The effects on his nappy will also then be for MIL to 'enjoy'! Not sure a plateful of stuffing is what he needs.

Go to your mum's, OP!!

MIL and SIL sound like a right pair of bitches.

Oh and dh needs to stand up to his mum and tell her how ridiculous she's being. The risk is that a dangerous precedent will be set if he doesn't.

If this is going to set the tone of things to come OP, it is worth considering distancing yourself and your DS from their twattery.

My in-laws were reasonable and completely normal with DD1. DD2 and nephew were born within days of each other, and then they turned nuts. There's a ridiculous competition in mil and sils head between them. There was constant interrogations on what DD2 could do for every milestone. What she could eat, how she slept and so on. She was walking before nephew and sil sulked! DD got a swimming badge, sil phoned to rant that her DS didn't need swimming lessons as it was pointless. At this point I went minimal contact.

They are now teenagers, and they speak to grandparents on the phone. But DD can't mention anything school related as nephew has been expelled.