Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

This is ridiculous what are you expected to do if you don’t have the high chair?
If he is awake do they expect you to sit him on your lap and eat your dinner one handed or miss your dinner looking after him. Either way he would still be in the photo so their reasoning is invalid.

But how are you supposed to feed your DS without a high chair. They need to be upright, they could choke, especially when weaning. And once you start feeding them on your lap you may never get them back in the high chair again. Babies like routine and putting them in a high chair with their bib on sets them up to know this is meal time. If you have them on your lap they can start twisting and wriggling, food spilling on the carpet

We have a very competitive/ready to be slighted relative. At her DD’s first Xmas lunch, she said that my DS had got more for his first Xmas presents from the DGPs than her DD (3 months) and that all DGCs should be treated equally. It wasn’t true but my DD was 10 months old by his first Xmas so obviously was given very different types of toys.
There was an embarrassed silence until one of my DB’s pointed out that my DS had also been given flu by DGM and had ended up in hospital just after Xmas. He asked whether she wanted that gift too...
Neither of my DC will voluntarily spend any time with her or her DD because she is so competitive about reaching milestones, academic achievement etc that she makes any time spent with her pressured and stressful. It’s a shame because they have good relationships with their other cousins.

Give your child to grandma at lunch time and enjoy the carnage 😂

Just stay at home, your mil and sil are winding each other up. If your baby is at the stay where he/she needs a high chair - then they need a high chair.

I'm sure that the babies themselves will be when they hear about this is future adult
life.

"Do you remember when you were 8 weeks old and Cousin X deliberately sat in a high chair to leave you out?!".

Absolutely batshit.

Also, is there a huge difference in background between you and DH?

They’re going to be the parents that turn up to your child’s birthday party with a gift for their own child so theirs doesn’t feel left out
No that’s my SIL! 😂

@BertieBotts ?
OK, don't bring the highchair, and if DS doesn't nap, plonk him on MIL's lap, say "Oh he wants Grandma" and enjoy your meal while DS causes havoc reaching for MIL's knife, knocking over her wine glass and eating half her stuffing

This with (jingle) bells on. She;s being utterly batshit. When it comes to photos, surely the little baby can just be held up for the photos? People are weird lol

I think your MIL must have forgotten what babies are like. An 8 month old and 6 month old are not going to be playing quietly on the floor unless one or two adults are down there with them. Also when does your DS get to eat? I don't think I would go either. Just say you think they would prefer a child free xmas dinner so best you go to your parents instead. Your DH needs to stand up to her before this becomes a pattern.

Sorry 8 week old.

Bollox to that shit. I’d ignore and take the high chair

Wow this is nuts.

I wonder if SIL is expecting your DS to keep her DC company while she has a meal in peace? It’s bloody ridiculous though, if the high chair is not allowed I wouldn’t be going. You deserve to have a meal comfortably too!

An eight month old weaning baby, sat on a lap within grabbing distance of the tablecloth, hot food, best china, wine glasses etc. What could possibly go wrong?

Nah, fuck that shit. Either spend your baby’s first Christmas at home or with your parents. If you go to PILs You will likely have a shit time.

Well, in fairness, I imagine the 8wo would feel like a bit of a pariah?

Unless he was too busy sleeping and/or soiling himself to worry about it.

Fuck me, your in laws have played the long game. Are you very attached to DH?

one of my DB’s pointed out that my DS had also been given flu by DGM and had ended up in hospital just after Xmas
Wow what a horrible thing to say, I bet that really made your dgm's Christmas!

Wow they are nuts, just batshit. Of course bring the high chair but I think I'd just go to my own mum after that stupid request. You or your dh need to put a stop to this madness before your child isn't allowed to use the toilet because sil child isn't trained yet.

This is crazy.
I would bow out of it completely and leave them to it.

I'd do what Bertie suggested. I'd say to my DH "that's fine, but if I can't bring the highchair you (or your family) are having him on their laps for the entire meal, not me".

They are totally and utterly batshit.

I'd actually be tempted to say "You're saying that my child is not welcome at the dining table? Therefore, it's best we don't come for food. We'll eat at home and see you after Christmas".

No way I’d be going to theirs now. I’d get DH to tell his parents that they’re being very unwelcoming and you’re going elsewhere.

Well I have heard some craaaaazy MIL stuff and some weird AF Christmas stuff here, but this one takes the .

The utter madness!!

YANBU. Go to your parents' and have a nice Christmas.

Wtf.

Go to your mums for Christmas with your baby and enjoy lunch all together at the table.

Go to your Mum’s

Sorry Op, but this has cheered me right up. I have had two batshit MILs in my life and once crazy SIL this has out batshitted all of them which is a triumph! No way would I be going and pandering to their weird ideas.
You need to get her a whole pack of ’s from us.

WTF.

YANBU. They sound nuts.

This is insane. INSANE!

No way would I pander to the lunacy and if they don't see sense I wouldn't go.

Where does it end. For every newborn the existing babies and toddlers have to wait till they can sit at the table? And all for a fucking photo opportunity.