Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

Bloody barmy! Please update when it’s resolved OP!!

Your child will be much safer in his high chair . No way would I leave a 6 month old on the floor when people are up and down with hot food etc. if I could put him safely at the table in a high chair.
Chances are 8 week old could be asleep anyway.

*I think it's an excuse. They want a nice dinner without a baby playing with food and throwing it. I can see their point really.
*
I don't think it'll be a nicer meal for them with him screaming on the floor really! If they want a nice quiet meal don't invite a 6 month old and pretty much newborn as there are guaranteed to be disruptions

TVstar my 6 month old DC both did blw and NEVER threw food

That really is batshit. You can't compare an 8 week old and a weaning baby. It's a slippery slope.
Tripp Trapp make really expensive fancy high chairs for which you can buy various attachments including one for a newborn baby which keeps them at table height. If they're that bothered maybe they should spend some money to make sure the newborn can sit at the same height as their cousin (and inevitably end up being held half the time anyway). And then of course they buy another one for your son so that he doesn't feel left out. You can then take it home and leave your high chair there. Unless of course you have one of those already.
Can you tell I've always wanted one?

Or tell them they're being fucking ridiculous and stay at home.

"DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama."
Nope. If 'avoiding drama' is the priority, don't go to his parents for Christmas. Either go to your parents or stay at home. Your MIL and SIL's reasoning is totally unreasonable.

is there a back story, the whole thing sounds strange. just bring the high chair with you if you need it.

Babies at 6 months will most definitely not tolerate being dumped on the floor at everyone's feet looking up at the table and all the action so far above them.

Perhaps they don't want any children at the table.

Again, your choice how and where you spend Christmas.

Take the chair! DH needs to flaming well stand up to his mother

They’ve relented to “kids can sit in the other room while we eat

I'd be delighted to lend you an indoor kennel, if that will help .

[hemm] What the eff is wrong with these people

At 8 weeks I had mastered the art of eating dinner over my clingy baby. That is the most ridiculous issue I have heard in a while. If they want an 8 week old kid at the table then they can take turns holding it. Take the high chair and set it up. What next? No crackers because baby cant pull them?

This is nuts.

The children are at different life stages, with different needs and capabilities.

If MIL is past the menopause, does she insist you can't bring tampons into the house because she will feel left out if you had a period while there. She is a freaking tit and SIL's arse licker, guess we know who her favourite is.

Take your highchair and tell her she is being ridiculous.

I've said we either bring the high chair or not go, my parents would love to spend DS first Christmas with him and they will, you know, actually allow him to eat.

This. Tell your DH you'll be telling your MIL exactly this.

And as for this gem of idiocy from MIL, there's no need for one baby to be at the table when they can both play nicely on the floor, she's obviously forgotten that babies don't play with each other. They're babies.

Forget first half. Just tell your DH you're going to your parents with the baby, and he can join you or go to his mum's if he's that afraid to stand up for his own family to her.

Your MIL doesn’t care enough about your baby to meet his needs

This with knobs on; even visiting dogs are made more welcome at our gaff.

BlackCherry I bet she doesn't have a bin in the bathroom.

Hey Mum that's ridiculous.

We will go to Parents in law this year and come to you next Christmas when both the children will be in high chairs. Sorted!

Honestly, this would put me off going. Wtf is wrong with them!!!

Of course YANBU

They sound so bonkers that's it's doubtful that they'll be amenable to logic but could you try some examples of other situations of where person a doing something that person b cannot do doesn't mean that person b is being 'left out'?

Eg. Graduation photo- the younger cousin won't be able to pop on a cap and gown and jump in the picture

Or do they expect that your child should never do anything unless younger cousin is also able to

They're mad. Stay at home and have an enjoyable first Christmas with DS!

I think I’d have him on my lap and be an utter nuisance and pass him round. ‘Oh look grandad he wants to come to you!’

This is really dark. How can they care so little about your son's (and your) experience of the day?

It would be an absolute massive fuck off NOPE from me.

Where does this end? Stand your ground now and set a precedent for protecting your son from them ongoing.

there's no need for one baby to be at the table when they can both play nicely on the floor.

Until your wee tot starts poking the tiny baby in the eye, feeding him food or bashing him with a toy! That’s no reflection on you or your baby, OP, that’s just what toddlers do.

Go to your parents or stay at home. You’re not going to enjoy it any way. If you take the chair you’ll have to listen to the digs and snipping, if you don’t you’ll have to listen to them crowing or giving of that your child won’t behave. Fuck that!

OP, I think you've won the "batshit crazy in-laws
at Christmas" award.

He's 6 months. There's no reason why he shouldn't be at the table!

I'd just reply to MIL.

Totally respect you don't want my child to eat at your table. Don't worry though my parents are happy for him to sit in high chair and eat so we'll catch up with you another day.

Then wait for their response!

Oh god, I’ve just realised. They’re going to be the parents that turn up to your child’s birthday party with a gift for their own child so theirs doesn’t feel left out, aren’t they. Of course it will cost more than the one they get for yours, because ‘after all, your son got all those other presents and it’s not fair to our poor Jacob’. Or he’ll be expected to let their child play with his shiny new gifts in case poor bubba gets upset.