Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

LOL at the 2 babies playing nicely! If your MIL tries that then clearly your DS will end up squashing or hitting (accidentally) the 8-week old and then he’ll be the big naughty baby who should know better.

Go to your parents!

I'd nip this in the bud OP. Seriously this nonsense wont get any better.

MIL and SIL are making decisions about your baby that you quite rightly don't agree with. So I would tell them to fuck the right off sooner than later if they think that's how its going to be from now on.

Go to your mums and have a lovely time.

Jaysus.. even with my limited knowledge of babies, I know that 6 months old and 8 weeks old will not be 'playing together nicely on the floor whilst adults enjoy dinner'..

Some adults will 'enjoy' dinner whilst some adults will sit on the floor trying to eat whilst trying to amuse a 6 month old who wants to sit at the table and an 8 month old is going to sleep, blow snot bubbles, or yell...

Last christmas we managed an 18 month old and no high chair as there wasn't room - she sat on various laps, on a chair, back on laps and a bit of wandering around trying to subvert the cat with a pig in a blanket. Whilst she was not the absolute centre of attention, it was certainly child oriented....

If they don't want a child oriented christmas dinner, the trick is... don't invite any children!

They sound batshit crazy. I would just tell them you don’t want to cause a family upset so you’ve decided to stay home to have Christmas. You’ll have a much nicer time.

Yanbu...batshit, all of them

When is he going to eat then? Or are they proposing he doesn't get to eat as you won't have his high chair? Absolutely crazy. Stick to your guns.

And OP stick to what you said to your DH, you dont want to look back at your sons first Christmas and remember how you allowed other people spoil it for you

my parents would love to spend DS first Christmas with him and they will, you know, actually allow him to eat.

Go do that. It sounds so much nicer.

Go to your parents OP! Tell your husband to man up and stop pandering to the ridiculous requests of his family. An 8 week old cannot play with a 6 month old.
Plus show him this thread and how ridiculous his family are.

Wow, this is insane. yanbu

Give the in-laws a highchair to keep at their house for a Christmas present?

If the highchair's right out, then take a sling that can be used front-facing with you. Let MIL try to ban your ds from the table when he's attached to you

Absolutely ridiculous! Easier said than done but I would be considering staying at home. Your child should be in a high chair joining in. What a bizarre situation to find yourself in!

...have we actually got a completely unanimous AIBU?
Op this is insane. I would absolutely go to my own parents where my son would be welcome if I was you. Playing nicely at 8 weeks old!! Bonkers.

Fuck that, holding him at the table will be a nightmare

Just don’t go, don’t even bother with an ultimatum - they’ll only be pissed off if you take the high chair

Is she expecting your ds to eat his dinner on the floor like a dog?!!

Totally batshit MiL and SiL. I would tell your DH that if he can't find his balls to tell them you will be taking a highchair, then your DC will be sat on his lap for the duration of the meal.

But I think an even better idea is to either stay at home for Christmas or go to your parents.

Obviously you wouldn't have even suggested taking the high chair if you had known your SiL's child is the Second Coming.

MIL is a moron. Stand your ground, OP.

Go to your parents for the day. Utterly ridiculous argument which I'm guessing has come from SIL

I’ve got 5 dc who have ranged from 9 months down to a few days off 5 months on their first Christmases. With the exception of Dc5 (who was napping) they’ve all at in the high chair because otherwise they would have screamed the place down/caused havoc. Children of that age like to be included & it helps keep them quiet so you can enjoy the meal.

I really would go elsewhere if MIL won’t relent in this.

Would this be a suitable compromise OP?!

Similar cluelessness when dh grandfather and younger brother eye rolled and had a “youth of today” moan at dds lack of manners in not thanking bil for a present. She was 9 months old.

Haha has your mil forgotten what babies are like. There is no way you’ll have an 8w old
And a 6m old playing nicely on the floor for the duration of the meal. You’ll be lucky if your sil gets to actually eat anyway and your baby is far more likely to be in a good mood in the high chair.

Has she spent much time with you and DH since the baby was born?

Wow. That's batshittery of the very highest order. YANBU.

Show them this thread. Loons of the highest order!

@ohfourfoxache but they're not even allowed hold him at the table, he's banished to the floor! Outrageous

SIL DC will always take priority IME. This is the beginning.