Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

I totally agree with PP. Take this opportunity to say ‘we don't want to hurt bust anyone’s feelings over this. We will stay at home for a quiet Christmas and see you all on XXX day’. Seize the chance to start building your own traditions and let them all crack on with the insanity.

People are talking about the OP struggling with a baby and forcing the baby into a situation... I really hope there's no chance of that happening. If I couldn't comfortably bring my child somewhere, then they wouldn't be brought. Simple. I'm not spending a few hours on Christmas Day, hassled, stressed and under pressure just to keep others happy.

First Christmas after we got married we went to my in-laws house because we lived closer to them. It was mayhem. There were too many people, not enough seats, I ate my dinner off my lap on the couch with 2 of his nieces and nephews hanging off me. It was loud, chaotic, too warm, uncomfortable etc.

It was our last Christmas going to them!!

Do what suits you OP. If you're happy with your son sitting on your lap, bring him. If you're not stay at home. Although I'm not sure he'll be allowed on your lap if the other baby isn't on their parent's lap 🤷🏻‍♀️

Explain that as he will most likely need entertaining, perhaps he could sit on MILs knee throughout the lunch whilst sil cradles her baby!
Honestly, they are completely and totally bat shit!!
What will happen when your baby is walking. Will you all have to crawl around on all fours so sold baby doesn't feel left out?

Wtf

Absolutely bonkers. That child is going to face so many problems in life with parents like that. What will they do if they have another child? Only let the older one sit at the table when the younger one can do the same. Just take the highchair.

Have you asked MIL where she expects him to sit during the meal? I would say to DH that if he's not in the high chair then either MIL or DH will have to hold him during the meal. Then just take the high chair anyway

I hope insanity doesn’t run in your husband’s family, @Nobhobs. 🤯

I think this is the weirdest and funniest thing I've read on mn in a long time....I too vote for taking the high chair and ignoring mils odd request.

(get one of those folding portable chairs that strap onto chairs (v useful when out!) than you can whip it out & say well I didn't bring high chair I thought you meant you didn't have room?

Nope, I agree with all the others, I wouldn't be pandering to that nonsense. If you do it'll get worse. Knock it on the head now. Tell her that DS is sitting in his high chair to eat his Christmas dinner and if he can't do it at MIL's then you'll have Christmas dinner somewhere that he can.

Take the chair, leave it in the car. Say that MiL or your OH can have your child on their lap for the meal. Bring the chair in when they get fed up
Won't take long.....

This is so weird!
But I'd nip it in the bud now and tell them you'll need to bring the highchair otherwise this will be were it starts. Soon enough if you take your DS to MIL for his birthday, they will insist on their child having a prestent of their own to open, as it's 'not fair that it's DS birthday'

Honestly, and I wouldn’t normally suggest this, I think you need to send them a link to this thread. Then they can see how completely nuts they are! Not one person doesn’t think they’re mental. A thread when everyone agrees!

Bonkers. They are absolutely bonkers.

If the newborn is sleeping will they wake them up for dinner so your DC has company?

This is crazy. I wouldn't go.

Ignore them in this issue and just take the high chair.

Don't go because you can't be arsed to have such pointless and childless arguments.

These are the two options for me. I'd agree with DH on what works best for both of you.

So if there's is 8 weeks and yours is 6 months - what will happen at Easter when yours will probably be walking .. and running around the garden. ?

Will he be required to be strapped into a pushchair because his younger cousin is not yet able to walk ??

When he goes to nursery will he never be able to draw a picture for Granny and grandpa because his cousin can't hold a pen yet..

Will he never be able to read a book with Grandma when SIL is there because cousin can't read yet ??

The whole thing is beyond bizarre and you need to get your DH to speak to his parents..

If you didn't take the high chair how will that work ? Presuming the 8 week old is awake ? Are they both expected to sit on the floor or in bouncy chairs ?
The reality is that 8 week old will be asleep and your dc will be wriggling on your laps around the table - still 'leaving' cousin out !!

That's ridiculous...also I don't see what difference the high chair makes to photos - if you sit baby on your knee he would still be in them?
I think I wouldnt go if I had relatives that came up with something like that.
My Mil and my parents both have their own highchairs at their house for visits from my little one because they want him to enjoy meals with them.

Absolutely bonkers. Like you OP, I'd have laughed, assuming they were joking

I vote for not going with a high chair.

Why should you when your baby is not fully welcome.

Stay home. Have a lovely time.

What @missnevermind said. With xmas bells on.

'DS has all meals in his high chair and Christmas will not be any different.
Will he be sat in his high chair at your house, MIL? or at home?"

How pathetic. I wouldn't bother going if they're going to be so stupid.

WTAF ?
They are completely batshit.
Not a good idea to let your little one stay on the floor next to a tiny baby, and why the hell should you. Tell SIL you have no intention of leaving out her baby, obviously the little one can't sit at the table. Why should you not be able to eat your dinner with your child ?
Personally I'd take the highchair and tell them if my child wasn't welcome at their table me and my baby would be having chicken nuggets and chips at McDonald's . Fuck em.
But I guess I am petty like that.

Absolutely bonkers

Yet another ‘D’H who wants to placate his mother at the expense of his wife and family. Why are they so bloody spineless?