Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

That’s crazy. I’d stay at home because it sounds like they will let this ruin Christmas.

Also you DH needs to be completely on your side and not trying to make the peace with them.

A young baby in a highchair at the dinner table will be a massive distraction for everyone

Who would actually think like that though? It’s Christmas dinner not a meal out at a Michelin restaurant, if that’s not about the family getting together what’s the point of it? I wouldn’t be impressed by a grandparent viewing their grandchild as an inconvenience at Christmas dinner tbh.

Ime babies in high chairs are generally entertained without constant interaction anyway, usually pulverising something into unrecognisable mush.

Just take the high chair anyway. He is your child and it's up to you where he sits when he is being fed.

Is MIL going to hold him the entire meal then?

I mean I presume he won't be allowed to be held either though because if he's been held he will end up in photos aswell and that's not allowed apparently

Life's just one big photo opportunity after another to some people.

LEFT OUT?!?!? WTF is the PRIMARY SCHOOL?!?! High chair or no show - that is the most ridiculous thing I have EVER HEARD

Weirdos. So what he can’t sit at the table at all? I wouldn’t want dinner with such idiots 😂

I feel bad for laughing so much when you have to be related to these people.

Weirdest mil post ever!

This is the best thread in along time, I know if this was me op I’d be absolutely adamant that the high chair was coming with us then I’d completely forget to pack it.

Bizarre. I’m baffled. Stay at home. Just ... bizarre

Make sure that MIL realises that by forcing a toddler into a situation suited to a new born baby, you will have hours of screaming and to-ing and fro-ing and that this will be a VERY unpleasant and stressful Christmas for you and DH and everyone to be frank. Tell her that either your DC is treated appropriately for their age and allowed to handle food at the table or you will all have to decline the event as it is unfair on all of you just to ensure an 8 week old feels included

Are you going to be expected to not send your child to school etc until the other in case they still feel left out?? How far is this madness going to go??!!

It doesn't even make sense from their point of view. It's not like of you leave the highchair at home that your DC won't eat, and therefore be at the table for these ever so important photos! The only difference is that instead of being seated, you'll be balancing them on your knee!!

I wouldn't bother going as no matter what you do there will be an atmosphere between you and your crazy inlaws. Your Dh is a wimp to agree to their stupid demand.

Personally speaking, l'd stay at home. They'll be offended, but you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
lf you take the highchair, they'll take umbrage. lf you don't, and your little one is fidgety, they won't like it.
Stay in your own home, let your little one have his highchair, and have a lovely peaceful Christmas Day.

You have a DH problem. He is happy for you and your DS to struggle and not enjoy you food in comfort to pander to his mother and sister.

A good sit down chat between you needs to be had about ground rules now before you (he) sets the precitent that MIL & SIL will be pandered to for your DS's entire life.

Havent read the whole thread but this is insane! I would defo take the highchair as otherwise you're going to be trying to eat your christmas dinner whilst struggling to hold your DS.

If its such a big deal can the 8 week old not be put in their car seat and then placed onto a dining chair? Not something I'd really do myself tbh but if they're that adamant that he shouldn't be left out

Are there really people like this in the world. Fucking hell.

Have they seen your son recently - is there a chance that they are being a bit dense as they’ve not seen him like that ?

Of course you need a high chair for him ... your husband just needs to explain the practicalities to his mother and sister ... if that doesn’t work out then I’m with the start your own traditions and stay home brigade!

I have a totally different viewpoint to nearly everyone, so quite happy to realise I'm in the minority, but maybe just maybe they don't want Christmas dinner to be entirely taken over by your child?

That would be an entirely shitty thing for a grandparent to think. My DS was 6 months at his first Christmas and my family were over the moon to have him there - because they love him.

I might be inclined to tell them that they can look after your fidgety baby while you eat as there will be nowhere safe to put him.

Bonkers!

Eh?! That's so ridiculous. I hate this competitive shit with babies in families. 8 week old will be in parents arms sleeping! I would take the high chair, that's so stupid.

Not you op ! Your sil!