Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

So MIL is so inconsiderate she scheduled dinner during a nap I.e she didn't want you child at the dinner table at all.
She wants dinner to be just adults.

Take the high chair but leave it in the car and don't tell them you've brought it.

Refuse to hold your DS yourself, but pass him around relatives laps to eat his finger food, with the words 'no, no, you have him on your lap, like you said you would'.

When the tension becomes unbearable and everyone is royally pissed off, bring in the highchair!

^^I love this!!

This is the moment in your life where you stop going to other peoples houses for christmas and stay home. Make your own traditions. If you feel like it you can invite them. I did. I invited the inlaws, told them they were welcome to come at x time and fine if they have other plans. I decide on the dinner and the timings. I decide on everything. It's peaceful that way. I also pay all the expenses and chauffeur MIL back and forth but do that happily since I get my way. It's lovely. Disclaimer: I'd also spend it happily alone with DH so they really don't have a hold over me/us.

Jesus I wasn't expecting so many replies. Sorry, I'm trying to work through them. Some brilliant suggestions though! I've never had an issue with my in laws before so was questioning my sanity for a minute thinking I was being unreasonable. MILs argument was just that as he's only 6 months he doesn't HAVE to be in his high chair (we had to start weaning early on hospital consultants advice before people pounce on me for starting at 5 months). He doesn't have to be in his high chair, but he can be and he likes it and he'll be happier, more included and me and DH can actually eat so seemed a no brainer. The whole situation is just I really don't have any words for it. Can't believe it wasn't a joke

This is the moment in your life where you stop going to other peoples houses for christmas and stay home. Make your own traditions.

Yeah agree with this, what your In Laws are saying is they don't want your son to be at the table eating Christmas dinner with everyone. Stand up for your son, it's revolting behaviour

Did MIL say what she's expecting you to do with your DS during dinner if he's awake?

In the first instance I'd be telling DH to give his head a wobble and tell his DM that the high chair IS coming. If he refuses then make him aware that he and his mother will be responsible for entertaining and feeding DS during dinner as you will be eating your meal.

I never had an issue with my MIL Nobhobs until sil had her first baby.
She was a genuinely great mil and Grandma up until that point.
Hopefully it will be different for you but this might just be the start

Bring along a high chair for the 8 week old too and then ask to put him in it!

Batshit Award for December!

8 week old can surely be on a lap, if awake?

I'd send her a message.
I will be bring a high chair for my child to have their dinner. Wether this be at the same time as the adults eat or later .
If SIL wishes to also use a chair for her baby that is up to her as the mother.
See you Xmas day.

I have a totally different viewpoint to nearly everyone, so quite happy to realise I'm in the minority, but maybe just maybe they don't want Christmas dinner to be entirely taken over by your child? This could be an excuse? In my experience mothers of babies think the whole world is as interested in their child as they are. It's very seldom the case. A young baby in a highchair at the dinner table will be a massive distraction for everyone. Perhaps they want to enjoy their Christmas dinner? Sorry just an alternative view.

Maybe they have a reason they don't want highchair there, but have given this very odd reason as they don't want to say the real one? All very strange. How will an 8 month old be left out? bonkers!!!

We were invited to fils for Christmas dinner. Fils girlfriend said we could bring the kids (ds 2 and Dd 5 months on Christmas) but they couldn’t sit at the table as they wouldn’t have enough chairs. No probs dh said we’d bring ds’ high chair and one of us will have dd on lap. This is what we do at my parents place when we have dinner.

Turns out the not enough chairs was code for “we don’t want the kids there”. So dh and I are going to my parents instead. They’ve relented to “kids can sit in the other room while we eat” because given their ages that’s such a great idea.

My DS was 10 weeks old at his first Christmas. If I remember rightly, and from the photos we have, we didn't have a high chair yet so he sat on my lap / in my arms most of the dinner. Think he must have been passed round to let people actually eat. We didn't really think about what would happen, we just sort of got on with it & he was no problem at all. If he was used to a high chair at home, as the OPs DC, he would have absolutely been in one.
Worth noting that his cousins were siting on normal chairs - and the thought of me saying he was left out because he wasn't on a regular chair is laughable.
Sorry OP your ILs sound bonkers

Christmas I suspect you are correct. However short of leaving the baby to scream the place down on its own in a playpen or waiting the golden nap time and whispering all through lunch if you invite a 6 month old for Christmas lunch they will dominate proceedings.

Probably those suggesting Op stays at home if MiL and SiL can't see this are calling it right.

Wow! Cunts

ChristmasbloodyChristmas So he should be banned from the dinner table and what do you suggest they do with him while dinners is happening? He's a member of the family and a real person..........

Could you go to your DM for Christmas Day - on the grounds that other grandma doesn't have a problem with a highchair. DH then has the choice of saying we're either bringing the high chair to yours or we're going to Nohobs mum's as she's being reasonable? Bet he won't like that one.

Incredulous at the down right stupidity of your inlaws....are they insane? I would be saying ok we dont want to put you out so we will stay at home.Sod em and their bloody stupid idea.

OP please don’t take any presents - the baby might not have brought any and will be embarrassed. Also definitely do not bring a buggy as baby will still be in a pram and will feel inadequate

Is MIL going to hold him the entire meal then? This is ridiculous of course take the high chair it’s a practicality if having a weaning baby?! It’s hardly like your asking to bring a jumperoo and a paddling pool to the meal is it. SIL needs to get over herself and stop being PFB

O my fucking god. I would be on red alert. Is this an indicaton of things to come??

So are they saying your ds is not allowed to eat?! That's bonkers! What if he was 2 yrs old? 3, 6, 10 or even 18 years old?! What then?

The in laws are being absolutely ridiculous and actually quite cruel to your ds, expecting him to lie there like a newborn when he's a sitting, alert and weaning 6 month old!! I'd be quite angry about that to be honest.

And they can put 8 week old baby's car seat on a dining chair if they're that bothered.

High chair or I wouldn't going tbh!

Warning signs for the future, sil is going to be so competitive...

Is MIL going to hold him the entire meal then?

This!! ^^