Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

That’s batshit crazy. If my baby was 8 wks old I’d have been eating Christmas dinner one handed with her in the other..... stand your ground as unfair on your LO

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Tell them to get this then they can both be at the table

I echo everyone else.

I'd send another polite message as a last ditch attempt to get some common sense, explaining that your baby is eating solids now and needs to sit up in an appropriate high chair, and reminding them that the two babies are at different stages. If there is no common sense I wouldn't go.

Honestly they're batshit crazy

My D's was 8 weeks old on his first Christmas and slept through dinner. Dd was in the booster seat. It was all fine and hunky dory. But SIL was in a mood when we turned up as that was "their time" with the grandparents 🙄

In your position, I have in the past said "no problem, we'll stay at home!" It usually makes them realise I'm not that fussed about spending time with them that they soon waken up to their unreasonableness.

Sounds as if they expect him not to eat Christmas dinner either. Poor child!

Agree with everyone else, you can't let this stand.

hhh sorry that won't work for us - seems we would be better popping over after lunch? - or maybe Boxing Day? 2024? Is that good for you, let's say Boxing Day 2024, about 2pm?

That might be the best approach.

I found it in my case it seem to be against us having equipment that made life easier - so once highchair was sorted it was trying to get us no having pushchairs - so I could carry the children for miles like IL apparently did – soon change their tune when they got roped into carrying heavy toddler.

DH tried the quiet life approach - didn't work there was always soemthing else.

That's the most bizarre story I have ever heard. wtaf?

Back away slowly OP...turn the corner and run for the hills

Yes what exactly do think you're going to do with your son at dinner time, is he not allowed eat? That's disgusting

They’re crackers.

I’d honestly refuse to go if they insisted on creating such a pathetic issue where one shouldn’t exist. What would they be expecting if you were all in a restaurant? Spiteful idiots.

Send them your apologies and a box of crackers.

This is nuts but it's hard to argue with crazy people!

Leave the high chair at home and just put your child on their nicest piece of furniture while you give them their lunch. Then ask one of the in laws to entertain your baby while you tuck into yours.

Take the high chair but leave it in the car and don't tell them you've brought it.

Refuse to hold your DS yourself, but pass him around relatives laps to eat his finger food, with the words 'no, no, you have him on your lap, like you said you would'.

When the tension becomes unbearable and everyone is royally pissed off, bring in the highchair!

Wow - MiL and SiL sound nuttier than squirrel shit

This is hilariously batshit but I'm also sorry for you OP. You married a crazy family.

It's nuts. I think I would not engage with it a all and do as a pp suggested:
'I see, that's a pity. So does it suit for us to poop over on Boxing day'

Step out of it now. Nightmare.

This is one of the nuttiest things I've read yet on MN. As if they're not going to have the 8-week-old draped over one shoulder while they eat one-handed anyway, or in a Moses basket next to the table, or yelling its overstimulated head off at the Christmas tree while your 8mo smears parsnip in his hair.

Don't go. Or go, but not only bring the high chair, pimp it out to the festive max: legs dipped in glitter, tray painted red and green, antlers taped to the back. Your son wears a My First Christmas Dinner bib. And Christmas pudding deely-boppers. And video the whole thing. While waving sprouts at the mad SIL and saying, "Oh, shame, they're delicious."

Oops. Clearly I meant pop over. Although poop isn't that wrong in this instance

Do you see yourselves going to the in-laws every year for Christmas dinner? Do you see a time where you don't go, and stay at home with your own little family unit?

If you think the day will come when you, your husband and your child(ren) will want to be in your own house, playing with presents and relaxing for the day.. I suggest you start as you mean to go on.

Stay at home and let them get on with it. They're batshit

THIS ^

I've never hear such a load of bollox!

Reply "That's hilarious! Next you'll be suggesting DS shouldn't be allowed to crawl or babble before his cousin is able to! It is perfectly possible for 8wo cousin to be in the photos by being held, no need for a second high chair, but if our son isn't welcome at the family meal table then we will stay at home and have a family meal where all are included"

I would be tempted to stay at home, but I want you to go so you can tell all of us what happened!!!

Get him a personalised top that says "older babies have a right to eat too" and put him in it on the day

if our son isn't welcome at the family meal table then we will stay at home and have a family meal where all are included

There. That. Sorted.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair hmm

If this is true then why would you even want to spend time with people who send messages like that?

I think I’d have to start with the questions.

What is their plan for dc eating Christmas dinner? Is he supposed to sit in the floor? Are they not allowing him food? Why is he being treated differently than all the other guests who eat solid food?

If he should be held and fed off an adult plate instead of given a proper place, who will hold him? You would like to enjoy your dinner without a squirming baby in your lap.

Tell your MIL and SIL that if other baby can't be left out then one of them can sit on the floor with baby. Why is your dc being treated like some sort of sacrifice for the greater good??? Your dc is as much of a person and you or MIL or SIL is and if your dc is ready for the table then they should be at the table. Sheesh.