Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

When he kicks off, please shout "nobody puts baby in a corner", hoick him aloft and then break into a dance routine.

I am on a train and that made me laugh loads, got a few strange looks. Please OP, do it

Totally crazy! I ate a lot of cold meals when mine where little cos I had them sitting on my knee while I tried to eat. Christmas dinner would not be one of them! I wouldn't go, if they're willing to treat your DC needs as coming second to the baby that would be my line in the sand.

Ahhh sorry that won't work for us - seems we would be better popping over after lunch? - or maybe Boxing Day? 2024? Is that good for you, let's say Boxing Day 2024, about 2pm?

They’re crazy!
Simply explain that DS is not going to spend the rest of his life living as though he’s X months younger than he is just so cousin doesn’t feel left out.

Will DS be told not to walk or talk too? Jesus

I’d be very firm very quickly, highlight their idiocracy and tell them you’ll decline any and all future invitations unless they get over themselves 😂

Very seldom do I hope the Daily Snail gets hold of a story, but this.....

These people are nuts. Spend Christmas day with just you and your little family, you don't need to deal with that kind of nonsense .

I'd not tolerate that it's absolutely crazy. I'd text and say that you will be bringing the high chair or if they really dont want that then you will be having christmas dinner at home. You wont get these memories back and its absolutely horrible to not allow a child who could join in with christmas dinner not join in.. no way I'd let this happen for either of mine. You did not start this drama they did by being ridiculous. I'd not let this slide because it might herald the start of a lifetime of having to do ridiculous stuff to appease them.
Just have christmas dinner at home as a little family then you wont gave to put up with this nonesense. Christmas is supposed to be for the children... how can they ask for your child not to sit at the table? Nuts.

For the sake of family relations I'd say go with them. It's an easy one to go with because it's so mental.

Say of course no probs, I'll leave the high chair in the kitchen and just use it to feed ds when he eats. Then when the chaos ensues at dinner just say should we get the high chair? Thus being infinitely reasonable, avoiding conflict and getting your way (ie the only logical way)

I like the suggestion of saying that DS will be in his high chair and MIL can choose which house it's in.

And give your DH a clip round the earhole and tell him he backs you up or he'll be wherever he is and you'll be at your parents.

I would stay at home, and would let MIL know why. She sounds unhinged.

I would message MIL stating that your dc needs a high chair to eat.
If that isn't possible at her house then you three will have Xmas dinner at your own house and catch up with her family another day over Xmas.

Just disengage with this nonsense ASAP.

Do they think the 8 week old will notice and feel aggrieved? I wouldn’t go.

Whete have they suggested your child sit to eat? Are you expected to keep him on your lap and eat one handed?

Is there a specific reason you are going to your in laws for Christmas dinner?

I'd agree, on the proviso that the other baby is not at the table and that the parents / grand parents / everyone else don't leave the table to attend to the 8 week old.

I'd also insist that SIL either breast feed both babies or they are both given a plate of Xmas dinner.

Oh and of course they both need to be wearing the same outfit, SIL can buy for both.

If your baby is awake then SIL's baby also needs to be awake.

Keep going until they realise they are nuts or uninvite you.

Yep, baby in the high-chair and MIL decides which house.

They’re completely bonkers! You have my sympathy that you live a life with people like this in it!

@sashh yes! Spot on!

Am I the only one wondering what will happen when your ds goes to school? If I'm guessing the birthdays right they will be in different school years. Are you expected to hold ds back a year for his cousin? The comparisons will never end.

Oh dear. Make DH stand up to them now - or stay home - a 6/7month old is not going to tolerate not being fed his xmas dinner - and why should you/your child miss out on his first Christmas dinner!!

This is the most bonkers MIL thread I’ve ever read 😂😂

Snorting at some of these replies. The dance routine OP they're batshit

Like every other poster, I think this is utterly batshit. Are they suggesting you don’t give him Christmas dinner or any food at all? If so, where are you meant to feed him? If You don’t bring the high chair make the crazy MIl have him on her lap so she gets splattered.

My first was 6m old on her first Christmas and demolished her Christmas dinner. I love the photos of her in a bib and Christmas hat. I wouldn’t have someone take that away from me because they were being bonkers.

What absolute stupid crap. I'd refuse to go.

Please provide a post xmas update, OP!

Just wow! This needs to be nipped in the bud now. Totally agree that there is some toxic golden grandchild situation emerging otherwise. DH needs to grow a bloody spine.

Utterly fucking bonkers. Please text mil and sil and ask them where they’re expecting DS to sit to eat his Christmas dinner. Unless he isn’t wanted at the dinner table, in which case you’ll be staying at home!