Can't believe I'm even posting this. Christmas dinner highchair'gate'

[Nobhobs]

Spending Christmas with DH, DS and the in laws. We're weaning DS so mentioned in passing bringing his high chair so he can sit with us during Christmas dinner (if he's not napping or anything like that) he's very alert and active and gets arsey if not being entertained. He loves being in his high chair and round the table and it's his first Christmas so we're a bit excited (yes I know he worn remember it)

MIL has said we can't bring his highchair, as her other sons baby will only be 8 weeks old and can't sit in one and we can't leave out one of the babies on Christmas Day. I laughed thinking it was a bad joke, but no, deadly serious.

We sort of ignored and thought we'd deal with it on the day, but had a text from 8 week olds mum saying that MIL had told her we were going to try and leave her child out and that she's not happy about it. Her baby will be the only one not in the Christmas dinner photos if we bring our highchair I said well obviously baby can be held up in the photos if that's what's upsetting you, DS is at the age where he doesn't just nap constantly and wants to be involved and entertained and it's nothing to do with leaving her child out.

It's totally ridiculous and DH is now saying just to leave the highchair at home to avoid drama. I've never had any issues with the in laws before and I'm mind blown by how stupid this is. Or am I BU? Is this a thing?! If one babies on the floor they all have to be??

You're not being unreasonable - you know who is and they are positively uneasonable! Of course babies are at different stages, I daresay one will be running around before the other - does that mean the 'mobile' one will be confined to a play pen, or when one learns to go to the toilet, will he/she be expected to wear a nappy?

Honestly, some people.

I like & agree with what BertieBoots said:
"OK, don't bring the highchair, and if DS doesn't nap, plonk him on MIL's lap, say "Oh he wants Grandma" and enjoy your meal while DS causes havoc reaching for MIL's knife, knocking over her wine glass and eating half her stuffing."
...........

I am frankly appalled that grown up people can be so ridiculous. My hope is that either mum or sis in law are members of this forum and see this thread.

If they thought about it, they'd know how daft they are. Families have children of all ages and each must be catered to as an individual.

What are you gonna do about it?

I remember when mine was a baby and being at the table with his grandparents (my in laws), at my house; this is a long time ago and people often had prams then, I had one and he was next to the table in pram asleep. Then woke up, put his head up and grinned, cooing at everyone. They all thought that was just sooooooo sweet. If we'd had someone else's child there who was a bit older, we'd have sat that one at the table with us.

Sheesh.

threaten your husband with no sex for a year if he panders to his mum

^This!

They're being ridiculous, surely by that logic you should all be on the floor with the baby else you're leaving it out??

Exactly what I thought!

OP, I’d be clear with SIL that you were simply trying to provide the appropriate seating for your child and made no mention of her child.

I’d then stay at home and enjoy your DC’s first Christmas free of all the batshittery from MIL and co!

Or you could plonk the 8 week old in its moses basket as a table centrepiece

Love this

Is this for real as it is beyond silly?

I cannot believe your DH's solution is to validate their craziness by not taking the highchair!! The only acceptable response to this nonsense is "of course we're bringing the highchair, don't be ridiculous". End of discussion. If you pander to them about his where will it end? If your child is toilet trained before his cousin will you be expected to put him back in nappies for family occasions so the younger one isn't "left out"?? Utter madness.

They're being silly. Bring the high chair anyway and deal with it on the day.

As your Dh is saying don't take the high chair he can have the baby on his knee the entire Christmas meal. Do not take a turn. Smugly eat your hot Christmas dinner.

It is lovely to be able to eat a meal without a child in your arms, this is why high chairs are glorious things.

I think I would take it in the boot though. Has your MIL forgotten what 6 month+ babies are like?

I would just say that never mind, you don't want it to be an issue, but as you want your baby to sit with you on Christmas Day you'll just have it at home and you hope they have a lovely time. Then change the subject and watch the colour drain from their faces.

As your Dh is saying don't take the high chair he can have the baby on his knee the entire Christmas meal. Do not take a turn. Smugly eat your hot Christmas dinner.

This, with bells on. Then maybe next time he'll stand up to them.

This is so terrible, it's funny!

I'd be staying home and getting DH to send MIL a note saying, 'sorry you can't accommodate the high chair but since DS is weaning, bringing him without a high chair doesn't work. We'd be passing him from knee to knee so no-one would be able to enjoy Christmas. We'll see you after lunch/on Boxing Day/next year when you're probably suddenly be able to accommodate a high chair for DSIS'

Stay home and have a lovely drama-free, jealousy-free Christmas with your baby in his highchair at the table with his parents.

Don't give in to MIL's batshittery!

If you do it will ruin your day and over the years it will just get worse as everyone gets used to saying nothing when MIL does these things.

Take the high chair & use it x

they are batshit crazy

I just wouldn't go tbh. That will give SIL centre stage so everyone will be happy. I love Christmas when it's just us, so rare though

That is beyond ridiculous. I would just take the high chair anyway and ignore MIL. Your child and SIL's are at totally different stages of development and have totally different needs. Treating them the same doesn't apply and neither of them will remember it.

This the most batshit thing I've heard all week.

Ignore them and take the highchair. If you pander to them now it won't get better.

This is crazy. I would not go on principle now. If you go and your baby is sat in the highchair then there is a good chance you will feel uncomfortable and glared at. I would have to say something though about it been silly. Like others said what happens when siblings are born?

Oh my word, of all the truly crazy things I’ve heard, this must be right at the top. I’d be making other plans for Christmas Day, frankly!!

IF this is true, then the other gc must be 4 weeks old. Maybe 'sil' is just having a moment? Did you ask her exactly what was said?

There is nothing that could make me attend this Christmas dinner now. Ridiculous.

IF ????

What do you mean by IF????

You what??? You can’t take a high chair because....a baby will be left out...ummmmm no words.

I just honestly wouldn’t go. I can’t be dealing with such fucking stupidity.