..to not want to be gushed over on this board

[saraclara]

I'm no-one's darling or sweetheart. I don't want to be called lovely or a wonderful person by people who don't know me from Adam.
I don't want to be told I'm a fantastic mother by strangers who know about 1% of who I am and what kind of mother I might be.

Why do people do this? There's the world of difference between being supportive and just throwing compliments and soppy terms of endearment around like confetti.

If I post about a problem, I'm hoping that people will consider what I've said (and actually read the OP carefully) then offer an honest opinion or advice with empathy, honesty and PLEASE no self-indulgent sentimentality.

Okay. None of this has happened to me so far, but it drives me nuts to see it on other people's threads. Almost more so than the posts that are over abrupt. It makes me think that the writers are vacuous simpering morons. And I'm pretty certain that telling someone they're a wonderful mother when it's reasonably clear that they actually aren't, is pretty unhelpful.

Oh, and I don't want random strangers kissing me either, thanks.

I don't see a lot of "gushing" on AIBU. It's not the most empathic part of MN

And I'd think "why are you telling me that?" It seemed so much about them.

Sadly, there are as many grief vultures about as there are genuinely sympathetic people. You see it often here and on social media, in fact I've just read a thread this morning that is full of these types. Most of them are just 'placemarking' with empty sentiments like 'you sound lovely!' Or 'your such an inspiration, I'm crying reading this'. What many actually mean is 'I'm really over invested in your personal drama and hope my empty sentiments cover this fact until you update'.

Oh my darling big hugs to you. You are like a beacon of light in the wilderness you're such a sweetheart. I hear you hun and see your soul. You are a wonderful person, you've got this babe. Hugs and kisses

@saraclara

*”I'm no-one's darling or sweetheart. I don't want to be called lovely or a wonderful person by people who don't know me from Adam.
I don't want to be told I'm a fantastic mother by strangers who know about 1% of who I am and what kind of mother I might be.

Why do people do this? There's the world of difference between being supportive and just throwing compliments and soppy terms of endearment around like confetti.”*

Start the post with “Male here”. Sorted.

Can't believe my post was deleted. MNHQ not getting irony today?

I said board not branch in the title though, @SpamChaudFroid! But yes, I prefer AIBU to the other branches because there's less of it here!

I don't think you sound lovely. You sound over invested, cliquey and really quite pathetic. Go out and live in real life, you might learn people don't behave like this in the actual world. Try and make some friends.

Op must be a South pole Elf 🤷‍♀️

I don't think you sound lovely. You sound over invested, cliquey and really quite pathetic. Go out and live in real life, you might learn people don't behave like this in the actual world. Try and make some friends.

ha ha ha!

I think nuance is all but dead on MN. Apparently, if we're not gushing and sentimental, we're uncaring. Right.

@saraclara - I agree again. I read so many posters who deduce that if it isn't "X", then it's obviously "Y". Other letters, like options, are available.

Our feelings are a product of our perception.

So, in some cases OP, we really mean what we say. Some not so much.

Don’t throw all the compliments into the same bucket. YABU and slightly defensive.

You talk about a mummy forum like it's your girly clique. Get a fucking life

The defensive accusation bewilders me. What exactly am I supposed to be defensive about?

It's an irritant to me. I'm not sure how it gets more complicated than that.

Mumsnet, a 'mummy forum'?

It's certainly not my clique. I'm fairly new to this place, so still reflecting on it. I certainly don't 'belong' to anything.

BTW I find "mummy" when one adult is talking to another, to be annoying too.
Might as well get everything off my chest at once.

Ha. SquareAsABlock got there first.

To be honest sara you always come accross as quite narky, just from seeimg you around the boards, so it's fairly unlikely anyone is going to gush over you.

Brill, yet another snob filled thread with thinly disguised bitching about the Netmums "invasion". Get a life.

Different folks, different strokes.
Are you feeling OK Hun.

That's good to know, @Blakes77
In that case I only need to be concerned about being an irritated third party. Phew.

@namechangetheworld as I said, I'm newish here. I know nothing about netmums, other than there being a thread about the place recently. Consequently I have absolutely no opinion about that site or its members.

Netmums is pants anyway, the formatting of it is practically windows 97.

So you are annoyed and very scathing about something that hasn’t actually happened to you. You just thought you’d get yourself in a tiz in advance in case it does ever happen? Righty Ho .....

Oh and you don’t get to dictate how other people respond to threads or express themselves. Like the rest of us you are free to like it or lump it.