To feel so upset over cake

[mamma536]

It's just cake but...

I just had a milestone birthday. DH usually goes to a lot of planning and trouble to make it special for me, but this year he is tired and stressed. I don't normally ask for anything but as it's a milestone I asked for something specific. But...he gave me nothing, no cake, not even a card because he said they were all too expensive (we are not skint) and he didn't even go to the effort of getting toddler to scribble something on a sheet of paper. That's fine, he has a lot going on, let's just forget it.

On the other hand my lovely colleagues at work bought me an expensive surprise chocolate cake, lit candles, sang happy birthday, took pictures, made lots of fuss. We ate half (I had a small piece) and they told me to take the other half home to share with DH. I got home, told DH about the cake and put it in the fridge.

Well when I got home the next day, looking forward to a piece, I found that DH HAD EATEN IT ALL. He didn't even leave me a tiny piece. He apologised and said in his head that he thought I had eaten half, so the other half was for him. 😥

I'm a little upset at the lack of effort from him, but mostly upset because he also took away something that my friends gave me that was supposed to be for me.

It's not really an AIBU. I know it's just cake. I just need to vent. 😥

Well he’s a cunt isn’t he.
I’d make exactly the same effort for his birthday.

Your H needs to go out and get you cake. A proper chocolate cake.

Honestly, I wouldn't put up with this. I don't care what he has going on in his life, it's unforgivable not to do one single thing to mark your birthday. What an absolute shit. Eating half a cake is also not an accident.

Oh dear. He seems to have shown no care here.

Of course YANBU. Don't vent to us, vent to him! He may be stressed or whatever but he has made you feel small and pointless. It's NOT fine to behave like that.

Ah that's really crap OP 😞, no wonder you're upset!

Gave you nothing for your birthday and then ate your cake?! What a dick. Poor you

I can't believe you just let him doing absolutely nothing for your milestone birthday go. I'm sorry, you deserve much better from your husband.
I hope you do absolutely nothing for his birthdays, but I'm willing to bet you go to some effort.

not even a card because he said they were all too expensive

Wtf??! That’s really, really shitty. And that’s before you even get to the cake. I’d be so upset and furious.

He is a selfish self absorbed prick.
I would be questioning our relationship tbh.

He's a selfish,greedy entitled asshole! Yeah you ate that first half at the office all by yourself!

You are not upset over cake you are upset over lack of effort. Tell him. It didn’t need to be expensive but he didn’t do anything and then rubbed salt in the wound by thoughtlessly eating the cake.

He sounds like an ass! Who eats half a cake that isn’t theirs!! Treat yourself. I found that bdays are generally disappointing and depressing so I always treat myself to something because I know exactly what I want

That is so sad and hurtful and I would want to tell him how hurt I was by my birthday being ignored and then eating my cake.

Why the fuck are you excusing him so much in your post??!!

He did nothing to mark your milestone birthday at all?

Not even a card or a bunch of flowers or anything?

He ate your birthday cake. The entire lot.

Is something else going on? If this is out of character I’d be wandering.

Bloody hell that is shit OP. Unless he has serious mental health difficulties I can't believe he couldn't manage to write a sweet message in a card and pick up a cake and little pressie for you. How is your relationship in general it sounds like he's resentful towards you perhaps?

Even if you thought someone had left you half a cake who the hell would eat it all in a day. What a pig.

I'd feel so angry. I'm sorry OP

I completely understand this. I had a big birthday this year and as we had a break away booked I told my DH that all I wanted was an M&S cake. Thought he'd order something personal but no I got a crappy little one picked up at the last minute. He didn't have a clue why I was pissed off! Like you my colleagues really made an effort and I really would have been mad had he have eaten that cake

What an absolute arsehole!!

I’d be fucking livid and I don’t care if that’s an overreaction.

He doesn’t give a shit about you by the sounds of it. Not only did he get you nothing for your birthday he greedily shovelled the rest of your birthday cake in his face that your lovely colleagues got you.

He's shown you what he thinks of you

He doesn't buy you a present
He eats all the leftover cake

He's a selfish knob

What are you going to do about it?

@MoreSexPleaseImBritish YES THIS! Who really eats like this unless its like a small individual cake or a large muffin. I'm a proper porker too and couldnt eat more than one/two slices of cake in a day.

Greedy fucking pig.

You say he’s tired and stressed ? Why ? Surely his admittedly bad lapse is out of character as other years he’s made a fuss .
I think perhaps you are placing too
much emphasis on the wrong thing ?

Can't you put your disappointment to one side - get another cake and a bottle of fizz to share at home and just talk about it ?

and HELLO - has he heard of AMAZON?

Sounds like an absolute prize that man.