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To allow child a day off to miss this?

342 replies

biscuitsteaandgin · 27/11/2019 19:16

School have decreed all children will participate in a musical performance (singing and dancing.)

Child really doesn’t want to.

Would you let them miss a day?

OP posts:

Boristhecats · 27/11/2019 19:17

It’s one of those. They should go because they can hide from stuff they don’t like. Verses I wouldn’t want to make my child upset. How old?


my2bundles · 27/11/2019 19:18

Is this a primary school assembly?


biscuitsteaandgin · 27/11/2019 19:18

12 Smile

OP posts:

biscuitsteaandgin · 27/11/2019 19:18

No, my, it’s secondary school.

OP posts:

DeathStare · 27/11/2019 19:19

Unless there is a specific reason why they don't like it (eg previous trauma, disability, etc) then tough luck. What if the child didn't like PE? Or Maths? Would you let them have a day off every week?


JumpyLiz · 27/11/2019 19:19



Lollypop701 · 27/11/2019 19:20

We all do things in our working lives we’re not keen on... its part of life so I’d send them in


ThisIsSunrise · 27/11/2019 19:21

Nope. Unless as PP says there are SEN to consider or similar (in which I am sure the school would make an accommodation) then this is one of those suck it up with good grace moments.


ScreamingValenta · 27/11/2019 19:22

Could they go, but not participate - just watch?

Or are there any backstage jobs they could do, such as lighting, controlling music if pre-recorded and so on?


biscuitsteaandgin · 27/11/2019 19:24

No, absolutely everyone has to perform unless exceptional circumstances (e.g. in a wheelchair)

OP posts:

my2bundles · 27/11/2019 19:25

Is it part of the curriculum in drama?


biscuitsteaandgin · 27/11/2019 19:27

No, it’s a whole school competition.

OP posts:

AutumnRose1 · 27/11/2019 19:27

Don’t send them

It’s a good lesson that you can say no to pointless shite.


cricketballs3 · 27/11/2019 19:29

Would you even consider keeping him off if it was a maths based activity?

As PP have said this is a life lesson - sometimes we have to do something that is not in our comfort zone so ask yourself do you want him to be prepared for adulthood or not


PenguinBollard · 27/11/2019 19:29

I'd say let them avoid it.

If they make a habit of avoiding things then it's time to reassess, but allowing them to miss it isn't going to harm them, and forcing them to do it isn't going to teach them anything.

As a one off - it's fine.

And I say this as someone who is very strict and very opposed to molly codling. I'm usually the hard arse one on MN!


yasle · 27/11/2019 19:29

how bad will the consequences of participation be?

would the school be able to put your dc at the back where they can't be seen?

I would actually take them out if I thought there would be lasting consequences from humiliation/bullying or whatever


ScreamingValenta · 27/11/2019 19:29

It seems the wrong lesson to be teaching - it takes all sorts to make a team, both the performers and the backstage people helping a show happen. Have you discussed this with the relevant staff?

I sympathise - I am tone deaf with no co-ordination. If I were the child, I'd be tempted to arse up my performance so badly that they'd agree to let me do the lighting instead so as not to ruin the show.

I usually managed to bag the 'narrator' role in anything like this at school.


OlaEliza · 27/11/2019 19:29

No, it's a whole school competition

Fuck that, let them have the day off.


Drpeppered · 27/11/2019 19:29

Would you let them not participate in sports day?


rookiemere · 27/11/2019 19:30

This really annoys me at schools.

DS hates drama and being on stage or performing in any way. All DCs in final year of primary school had to take part in school production- wasted an entire evening watching 2 productions of Peter Pan to see DS wanly waving a sea shell for 5 seconds.

No idea what he was meant to have got from it and many precious teaching hours were lost so he could watch others perform.

Do what you think is best for your DD.


lunar1 · 27/11/2019 19:30

Send him in, some kids hate maths they still have to get on with it.


PenguinBollard · 27/11/2019 19:30

ask yourself do you want him to be prepared for adulthood or not

Forcing someone to do something stressful in front of an audience is not preparing them for adulthood.

It's a one off performance, and not in the least bit comparable to PE and Maths!


CravingCheese · 27/11/2019 19:31

Is there a specific reason or is it general embarrassment or laziness?

We all need to do this we don't want to do. Children need to learn that as well....


PenguinBollard · 27/11/2019 19:32

Would you even consider keeping him off if it was a maths based activity?

Presumably a maths based activity does not run the risk of embarassing yourself in front of a large audience and your peers


BertrandRussell · 27/11/2019 19:33

What exactly will he have to do?

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