To allow child a day off to miss this?

[biscuitsteaandgin]

School have decreed all children will participate in a musical performance (singing and dancing.)

Child really doesn’t want to.

Would you let them miss a day?

It’s one of those. They should go because they can hide from stuff they don’t like. Verses I wouldn’t want to make my child upset. How old?

Is this a primary school assembly?

12

No, my, it’s secondary school.

Unless there is a specific reason why they don't like it (eg previous trauma, disability, etc) then tough luck. What if the child didn't like PE? Or Maths? Would you let them have a day off every week?

Nope.

We all do things in our working lives we’re not keen on... its part of life so I’d send them in

Nope. Unless as PP says there are SEN to consider or similar (in which I am sure the school would make an accommodation) then this is one of those suck it up with good grace moments.

Could they go, but not participate - just watch?

Or are there any backstage jobs they could do, such as lighting, controlling music if pre-recorded and so on?

No, absolutely everyone has to perform unless exceptional circumstances (e.g. in a wheelchair)

Is it part of the curriculum in drama?

No, it’s a whole school competition.

Don’t send them

It’s a good lesson that you can say no to pointless shite.

Would you even consider keeping him off if it was a maths based activity?

As PP have said this is a life lesson - sometimes we have to do something that is not in our comfort zone so ask yourself do you want him to be prepared for adulthood or not

I'd say let them avoid it.

If they make a habit of avoiding things then it's time to reassess, but allowing them to miss it isn't going to harm them, and forcing them to do it isn't going to teach them anything.

As a one off - it's fine.

And I say this as someone who is very strict and very opposed to molly codling. I'm usually the hard arse one on MN!

how bad will the consequences of participation be?

would the school be able to put your dc at the back where they can't be seen?

I would actually take them out if I thought there would be lasting consequences from humiliation/bullying or whatever

It seems the wrong lesson to be teaching - it takes all sorts to make a team, both the performers and the backstage people helping a show happen. Have you discussed this with the relevant staff?

I sympathise - I am tone deaf with no co-ordination. If I were the child, I'd be tempted to arse up my performance so badly that they'd agree to let me do the lighting instead so as not to ruin the show.

I usually managed to bag the 'narrator' role in anything like this at school.

No, it's a whole school competition

Fuck that, let them have the day off.

Would you let them not participate in sports day?

This really annoys me at schools.

DS hates drama and being on stage or performing in any way. All DCs in final year of primary school had to take part in school production- wasted an entire evening watching 2 productions of Peter Pan to see DS wanly waving a sea shell for 5 seconds.

No idea what he was meant to have got from it and many precious teaching hours were lost so he could watch others perform.

Do what you think is best for your DD.

Send him in, some kids hate maths they still have to get on with it.

ask yourself do you want him to be prepared for adulthood or not

Forcing someone to do something stressful in front of an audience is not preparing them for adulthood.

It's a one off performance, and not in the least bit comparable to PE and Maths!

Is there a specific reason or is it general embarrassment or laziness?

We all need to do this we don't want to do. Children need to learn that as well....

Would you even consider keeping him off if it was a maths based activity?

Presumably a maths based activity does not run the risk of embarassing yourself in front of a large audience and your peers

What exactly will he have to do?