Please reassure me I've done the right thing...

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

I left my abusive husband three months ago, and we had to flee across the country.

He doesn't know where we are.

My eldest DS wants no contact with either him or his family (every type of abuse you can imagine, toward me and them).

My youngest DS is still young enough to have an idealistic view of his dad/GPs etc. He misses them, and I'm holding him while he cries, while at the same time crying inside because something which gives me so much relief (the fact that we're miles away) is the very thing causing my son stress. I feel guilty for being relieved.

I'm worried sick about Christmas. Its going to be hard anyway because they'll be away from what they know. The relocation (sudden, rushed, expensive train journey) wiped me out, and I just can't afford Christmas this year.

I'm exhausted, everything is starting to sink in now that I'm out of there, and I know I need help- but I feel I can't seek help because I can't drop the ball where the boys are concerned: they're on waiting lists for therapy, and I need 100% of my focus to be on them, seeing as I'm the only one they have know- we know no one around here and I have no family- and I uprooted them in the first place.

I'm failing like he always said I would, aren't I?

You are obviously never going to question that you did the right thing by getting rid of that fucker are you? Obviously you need to get the kids the help they need to testify against this arsehole and get him the fuck out of your lives for good!!! I hope they find the courage they need from their Wonder Woman mum!!!

You're doing well. Eventually your youngest son will understand. I hope you remain safe and cosy, I do happen to know someone else in the same position for same reasons but with only one child, child's dad has never found them, probably given up by now because their break up was years ago. Her story was harrowing and certainly left scars.

Thank you, you lovely bunch. I feel like I've new-found home!

Addaction tomorrow...there's a group near me. I'm bricking it...but I'm ready.

You are doing great op, good luck with the AA (?) meeting.

OP. I can’t help in the slightest but I just want to say how fucking amazing you are.

OMG. Reading your story from Australia. I'm pregnant, hormonal and in tears. You're bloody awesome lady. The best mum. Merry Christmas and stay safe.

You're amazing, you really are. I'm so sorry that your boys have been physically abused by their sperm donor as well, what a fucker he is. .
Hope you can get him put behind bars for it.

Now, just one word of advice about wallpapering - get pre-pasted paper. It might feel more like one in the eye (ha!) for the bastard to do it with paste you mix yourself, but it's a world of hurt waiting to happen unless you're expert at it - I should know! I tried it with just lining paper, ffs, and it still fell down. And I'd had experience!

So go with pre-pasted - MUCH easier to deal with and you get better results, plus you don't need as much equipment for it.

You may have seen the KOKO code before - for Keep on Keeping on - you just keep going the way you're going, you're doing brilliantly.

SO proud of you!

Pre pasted wallpaper? I didn't know there was such a thing! 😮

Addaction meetings attended- 1.

Bricks shat- several.

It's good to have some peer support. If I'm going to crave alcohol, it'll be now. I'm not going to DRINK alcohol- but that won't stop me craving it. Now at least I know I can reach out.

Thank you for all the continued support!

Yes, definitely to the prepasted wallpaper! You just cut it to length, soak it in a water trough for the recommended time, and then stick it to the wall

Well done for the rest and yes, this will be a testing time but you've come through worse without drinking, so you can DO this now as well.

You and your boys are going to have a wonderful Christmas, you've given them the gift of getting their utterly horrible 'father' out of your lives

I have my first therapy session with a DV charity in 25 minutes.

I'm so used to being Ice Bitch. I'm bricking it!

Hope your session is positive today. You are doing brilliantly

Thank you! I made it out alive- that's the main thing! 😍

Hope the session was useful to you and gave you some information that will help you x

I really hope you found the session helpful. How are you and your boys holding up?

I've started a post in Legal Matters...but I wanted to update here.

The police called today and told me there's not enough evidence to secure a conviction.

I feel I've failed my children in yet another way.

Op the very fact you immediately believed your dc will counts for heaps.
It's the key to recovering I was told.
You removed them from the situation.
You are a bloody damn good dm..
The law is the failure not you.
We are all behind you immensely...

So sorry, OP. That's really tough news. But you are absolutely doing amazingly for your kids! Be strong

Thank you!

I've had my wobble...I'm ready to fight now. 🤨

Oh heck, that is shit.

Going back several days: Popcorn kernels from the world food aisle is cheaper. Pop your own in a pan. You will have loads.

You're not a failure, you're a bloody hero. WELL DONE for getting yourself and your children away and safe. I hope you have the best new year and new start possible, sending you lots of warm and fuzzies, you can do it!

This will not break me.

Now I've had time to calm down, I realize that earlier, I equated it to not being believed. Now I see it's not that at all. There's just not enough evidence.

The staff here believe me. Their vouching should carry enough weight for me to get the legal help I need.

I've made a solicitors' appointment for January...I'll finally be divorced from the bastard. Is it awful to be excited about that?

@NothingHasBrokenMeYet it’s been a long time since I’ve read such an inspiring story. What an amazing and strong person you are, you should be proud.

I share your history and mine wasn’t prosecuted either. I see it as a blessing now. There was burns, broken bones, fractures and an array of evidence. But there was also me continuously going back, my mh and the possibility of him being able to use that against me.

I live life free, independent and happy. Him, well, he’s still scum and his life reflects that.
The children are safe and well rounded now, there is light, trust me.

Inbox me if you ever need an ear. I know how hard this can be. Good luck to you 💐

Hangin but he didn't get your mind...which is what he was really after

You wine, sweetheart. 💕