Please reassure me I've done the right thing...

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

I left my abusive husband three months ago, and we had to flee across the country.

He doesn't know where we are.

My eldest DS wants no contact with either him or his family (every type of abuse you can imagine, toward me and them).

My youngest DS is still young enough to have an idealistic view of his dad/GPs etc. He misses them, and I'm holding him while he cries, while at the same time crying inside because something which gives me so much relief (the fact that we're miles away) is the very thing causing my son stress. I feel guilty for being relieved.

I'm worried sick about Christmas. Its going to be hard anyway because they'll be away from what they know. The relocation (sudden, rushed, expensive train journey) wiped me out, and I just can't afford Christmas this year.

I'm exhausted, everything is starting to sink in now that I'm out of there, and I know I need help- but I feel I can't seek help because I can't drop the ball where the boys are concerned: they're on waiting lists for therapy, and I need 100% of my focus to be on them, seeing as I'm the only one they have know- we know no one around here and I have no family- and I uprooted them in the first place.

I'm failing like he always said I would, aren't I?

[wobblywindows]

A pillowcase also works fine for a stocking, first year.

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

And the fear of having to relive everything in court? Well, because of my experiences as a child, I'm at least familiar with this. I'm in a "lucky" position where it won't be my first time trying to put a bastard behind bars.

I can't change my past. But I can bloody well use it!

[tensmum1964]

I don't have any advice to add but just wanted to say that I think you are amazing. I was raised with my siblings by a strong and courageous single parent. We were in poverty for pretty much all of our childhood but we were loved and protected. Christmas was always a hard time for our Mum but she did so many little things to make it special. Our house was often filled with laughter and these were the best gifts that any child could have. Keep strong and keep going you are doing amazingly.

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

Laughter I can do. Hell, I nail forks to the wall by accident...I can make people laugh just by breathing. Badly. 😂

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

Proof that it happened...🙈

[flirtygirl]

Your thread has made me cry op but in a good way.
You sound so upbeat and brave. I want to be you.

I dwell too much and get stuck in my brain but you are just getting on with things, I wish I could be more like you.

You are an inspiration, op.
here you deserve them all and a hell of a lot more.

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

I'm just me. Everyone has inner strength.

Mind if I pass on the wine though? Addaction will nail my ass to the wall. A bit like the fork. 😂😂😂😂

[Pollywollydolly]

Your'e awesome OP! I wish you and your dc all good things.

[Crocky]

Nothing, get a frame and hang it around the fork. Keep it there to remember the laughter.
You are amazing

[ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere]

Well done Op, huge hug. You are awesome.

[CoatTails]

You’re an inspiration.

Advert calendar ideas:
Kitchen Disco
Food colouring in the bath water
Indoor picnic (tea on a blanket!)
Balloon Day (pack of balloons all blown up and piled in one room)
Decorate paper plates/paper place mats ready for Christmas Day

[Purpleneonpinkunicorns]

Just read your thread op and I think you are an AMAZING mother to your kids and your doing sooo well..well done you've got this you really have and your an inspiration to others keep up the good work and your fork pic has given me a good giggle thank you...maybe a knife and spoon up there also?

[strawberrytea123]

I'm sorry I don't have any advice as it seems you have lots but I wanted to just say that you are amazing and your children are lucky to have you x

[UnderperformingSeal]

I have nothing useful to add OP, just want to wish you all the luck after everything you've been through

You've absolutely done the right thing, be in no doubt about that.

[notthemum]

Just very quick OP.
Tesco are at the moment doing medium sized selection packs for half price. (A quid each)
Well done for getting out AND definitely for not drinking in what must be difficult times for you.
Best wishes 💐

[Onescaredmuma]

I'm so glad your thread could stay! You're my bloody hero! Didn't think I would laugh reading this but your picture of the fork definitely made me smile.
Really happy to hear you managed to get a Christmas tree.
We're constantly broke my favourite Christmas activity is is salt dough Christmas ornaments. I googled ones that didn't need to be baked used dds cheap paints and sealed them with an old clear nail vanish they worked OK we then gave them to the family as Christmas presents (we made about 50 ). Shortbread biscuits really cheap to make too I've used play doh cutters in the past to cut them into fun shapes too for Christmas but you can just cut them into fingers and they're still great. I hope your DS is feeling better about things today I'm so sorry to hear your boys suffered too but you are amazing and don't doubt they will grow into good men because of your influence.

[Miljea]

On Gumtree, use 'free' as your search term, as well as looking at the 'Freebies' bit. You will obviously get everything with 'free' in the title, but a fair bit is actually free.

I know, having read this thread, you are not seeking charity, but you just might tell someone who's stuff your looking at you're registered blind? So could compromise on travel?

I know I would!

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

Sorry- I'm back.

Salt dough sounds awesome actually! Silly question- how big could I roll something like that?

I think I'd like to make an impression of all of our hand prints. (Then paint it blue)

[Ukholidaysaregreat]

Walk in the woods and cut Holly and Ivy to bring inside as decorations. Love doing this and it is free! Well done for all you are doing. Making a safe 2020 for you and your kids. Frame the fork.

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

We got the fork down! I wish I hadn't now! 😍😍

[redastherose]

@NothingHasBrokenMeYet I've read all your thread and just wanted to say how amazing you are. Your Ds's are lucky to have a mum like you. The advent calendar of fun sounds amazing, I'd suggest making a hedgerow wreath, you can collect sticks and berries and leaves and interweave them, they look great. If you can get some gold spray paint and do a few of the green leaves gold it looks especially impressive. Also if you can bake where you are making Christmas cookies is cheap and fun, you can cut out Christmas trees and holly with a knife if you haven't a cutter. Use green food colouring for extra effect. Make your own Christmas paper chains is really fun and simple and makes anywhere look great. Also, please make use of the free cycle on your local fb and definitely contact the food bank for Christmas parcels, I and many other mn's donate precisely to help people like you who need our support at this point in your life. Also, whilst your younger son may miss his F and GP at the moment I do agree with Pp's that you should tell him in an age appropriate way that his F hurt you and his brother and you wouldn't have done this drastic move had you had any other choice to keep you all safe. I wish you and your lovely sons a happy safe and peaceful Christmas and new year. 💐

[myidentitymycrisis]

If you can get cinnamon or cloves, slice a coffee of oranges and stick them on, then dry slowly in a very low oven. Makes scented tree decorations with a real smell

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

Yet more terrific ideas! Thank you! ❣

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

So sorry for being a little short and absent. My youngest confided tonight that it's been worse than just verbal toward him too.

😡

[Seriouslyconfused3]

Oh op that’s terrible I’m sorry. At least he’s safe now though.



Are the dc in school yet?