Aibu to think mistress shouldn't be in house when husband not there?
Boozysuzy84 · 22/11/2019 20:56
Recently separated after 17 years due to cheating spouse. Moved into rented accommodation last sat and mistress had moved into marital mortgaged home by wednesday. No settlement has been agreed we are discussing him buying me out.
Husband is going away for business for a week starting sunday. Can I refuse her access to my home? I have a way of securing it without changing locks. Repeatedly told husband I will not allow any third party to reside in the property while neither of us is there.
Boozysuzy84 · 22/11/2019 21:04
I would love to rise above but the way things have been handled by him have been awful. He denied and denied he was still seeing her and when my son went for his first sleepover there he came back here and told me there was a girl in daddy's bed. That was the first I knew it wasn't a thing that happened a few times. I found out from my 3 year old son.
Boozysuzy84 · 22/11/2019 21:09
I have consulted a solicitor who advised me not to move out until a settlement was reached but couldn't not turn down this council house. I can't afford to take over the mortgage as have been a stay at home parent for almost 4 years and gave up my job to live in middle east with him in 2011.
MsRomanoff · 22/11/2019 21:14
Whilst moving back is tempting. Dont do it. It's not fair on the chold to be so unsettled moving back home back to the new home etc.
Besides which I know people who have been reported for not living in their council house full time. Would you really do this everytime he goes away.
Fact is that it's a house you both own. If he says she can stay and lives there, there isnt much you can do
I know its tempting to do something to disrupt and hurt them. But in the long run I think you will feel better for rising above it.
LemonTT · 22/11/2019 21:15
I understand your feelings. He and she are callous idiots.
But, you have separated into 2 homes. The house, which you own half of, is now his home. Accepting that separation and boundary is an important step. For you to get on with your life.
If you kick off what will you achieve? Anger, acrimony and arguments which your son will witness. It’s not your fault but you don’t need to lower yourself to their level.
Focus on getting your share out of the home and use her presence to reduce his share of assets. Because now he has a live in partner to share cost of the home, he needs less.
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