To sleep with as many people as I wish

[ambiencing]

DP, his sister, mum, dad and I were all having a conversation regarding virginity after talking about people calling for the age of consent to be lowered.

It went onto the topic of how many people (average) one will sleep with in their lifetime. My DP's dad that he felt sorry for me, having slept with "so many" people at aged (almost) 20. And asked what had made my self worth so low. I was stunned into silence, but now I really want to say something. This was only a couple of hours ago, but DP thinks I just just leave it.

AIBU to be furious?

You told your in-laws how many people you had slept with?

Yes, I told them. We've all had a few drinks and everyone was sharing.

It's up to you who you sleep with, but why are you even talking to your DP's family about this?

I've explained why we were talking about this.

Why on earth would you share this? Talk about TMI!

Why were you discussing your sex life with them?

On one hand you are right, that it is up to you, on the other a general discussion will lead to uninvited comments.

Everyone shared, not just me.

Do how many men did DP’s mum and dad reveal they’ve slept with?? I’m sure your DP would have been delighted to have that shared.

His mum was three, his dad was four.

Oh! Not even my husband knows how many people I have slept with. As this is an anonymous forum, I can tell you it’s more than 1 and less 1,000.

“ Why on earth would you share this?”

Why wouldn’t you? Oh hang on, this is mumsnet so sex = shame.

How many people have you slept with?!

On one hand, i agree with you that it’s entirely your choice. On the other hand, if it was my child and they’d slept with 100 at the age of 19, I’d assume a lot of those were pre-legal age and would feel very sad about their self-worth and wondering where I’d gone wrong on parenting.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a wild old time in my 20s and don’t regret it for a second but it definitely feels a bit seedier / more sad in the teenage years.

Wtf?! That is an absurd conversation to have with your partners parents!! Who cares if everyone is sharing. FFS.

The parents are probably closer to my age. We came into our sexuality when each sexual partner meant a chance at death. I don’t think I could have a conversation with someone who had any real number of partners by age 20 without wanting to talk about testing and safer sex practices.

It’s hard to tell without knowing the number of sexual partners you have had.
Less than 5? More than 15?

I think this would be classed as 'over-sharing'.

I can't think of any circumstances under which I would be drunk enough to discuss this with my in-laws. Maybe you need to think about boundaries?

Also he is probably concerned about his own child’s sexual health..

We came into our sexuality when each sexual partner meant a chance at death

No matter how many times I read this I can't work it out.

Did I ask about boundaries? Or whether you all thought it was oversharing?

It's sex. Get over it.

How many did the men sleep with?
It's up to you how many people you have slept with.

I would have possibly replied with I feel sorry for those who haven't had as much experience. Don't know what you're missing out on.

The problem is that you overshared so they thought the conversation was on an intimate footing.

No woman or man should be judged for their ‘number’

Unfortunately please do judge so I keep it quiet.

But it really is no biggy.

Not too sure I’d agree to age of consent being reduced though

Whether the conversation was on intimate footing or not, it's still a shitty thing to say? I think so, anyway.

I can't ever imagine sharing this information. OH and I don't even share. But with your in laws??
Nothing to do with shame, everything to do with privacy.