To sleep with as many people as I wish

[ambiencing]

DP, his sister, mum, dad and I were all having a conversation regarding virginity after talking about people calling for the age of consent to be lowered.

It went onto the topic of how many people (average) one will sleep with in their lifetime. My DP's dad that he felt sorry for me, having slept with "so many" people at aged (almost) 20. And asked what had made my self worth so low. I was stunned into silence, but now I really want to say something. This was only a couple of hours ago, but DP thinks I just just leave it.

AIBU to be furious?

His response was shitty, sex is sex. People make such a big unnecessary fuss over it, especially where women are concerned.

That’s like saying if you were talking about anything and the response being ok because she welcomed it due to giving her side

So if the topic was on race would it have been ok for PIL to negatively react / be racist because it’s an open discussion?
It doesn’t make it right just because he was stating his feeling.
He isn’t allowed to state his feeling if he’s got any antisemetic views so he shouldn’t be misogynistic either

Yes it was a shitty thing to say and probably misogynistic. No one should be judging you (or anyone else) for how many people you’ve slept with. Unfortunately people do and this is the risk you take when discussing how many sexual partners with your DP’s parents!

I wouldn't judge you on how many, but it's too weird to discuss with in laws imo.

To sleep with as many people as I wish

It's what most people do

Presumably op shared because she is not ashamed, and why should she be?
I don’t really tell people but people know I have bipolar so they probably presume it’s a lot.

It’s a lot 🙊

Misogyny is downplayed in society because it's carefully crafted that way

Weird discussion to have with in laws.

I realise you'd had a few drinks and everyone was sharing but, honestly, there was no point in sharing that information with everyone in the room.

Of course it is up to you how many people you sleep with but you're still v young and I do know that a lot of young girls sleep with men even if they don't really want to. They get themselves into situations which they feel they cannot get out of.

I honestly wish I hadn't slept with so many when I was a youngster. It was pointless.

Was she supposed to lie and tell them it was only their son?

When you next see them say you were having a larf/exaggerating.

My husband doesn't know either I've always said more than 1 and less than 10 but it's actually more

It's the wrong thing for him to have said, but I wouldn't have disclosed it anyway. Or if I did I would have lied!

It doesn't matter anyway, it's in the past. Just move on and learn not to share quite so much next time.

Nothing to do with shame.

It is to do with boudaries and sharing.

Would you tell people how often and how you masurbate?

Intimate information is often private. Not because it is shameful, but because it is within our boundaries and not for public discussion.

@Bluerussian terrible advice

A person could realistically break their virginity and fuck 100 people at the age of 19, Doesn't have to involve anything underage.

But OP hasn’t said how many people she’s slept with or what age, and I was demonstrating how they two situations are different.

I do think it’s pretty sad to have slept with 100 people between the ages of 16-19 though. None of my business, agreed. But it is a lot for someone who is still very young.

And a lot of females fuck around because they want to and enjoy it.

OP, I don’t know how many men you disclosed you slept with, but it’s naive to expect that people won’t judge tbh because they will (even if only inwardly). Put it this way, if you met a man who made a point of telling young he’s slept with hundreds of women, wouldn’t you find that more than a little off-putting?

I think it depends what the number was :/

Was she supposed to lie and tell them it was only their son?

I'd have told them that I wouldn't be telling them how many and kept my mouth shut. It's not about shame...it's just not a conversation you have with your in-laws.

If someone asks me how much I masturbate, yup I tell them. Also, talk about the toys I use.

I'm not going to lie to placate others. I am not ashamed of my sex life, why would I? It's something I really enjoy.

I do think it’s pretty sad to have slept with 100 people between the ages of 16-19 though. None of my business, agreed. But it is a lot for someone who is still very young.

But why? What makes it sad?

Slightly off the point, but if my new partner’s parents told me how many people they had slept with I would be out of there.

@ffswhatnext yes me too

If someone doesn’t want to know they answer they shouldn’t ask in the first place

I would question the group circumstances - I am guessing a lot of alcohol involved- where this conversation is appropriate.

He didn’t respond well but you many people will wonder why teenagers and young women have a lot of partners so young and that it could possibly be low self esteem or risky behavior. Was the sex really that great if it was on a fairly random and casual basis?