to not allow my inlaws to stay at mine whilst we are on holiday

[forsale]

they have hoards of crap and baggage and my house is for sale. We want to leave it in a presentable "showing" state so the agent can come and go as he pleases and not have to make arrangements. Dh, despite his objections will not actually tell his parents the answer is no. THey havent even asked me

[Blu]

'ey? They only live 45 mins from airport but want to stay? I'm beginning to agree with you, now, that's far more trouble than it's worth! Would take less time to drive than wash and change sheets, re-tidy the house eetc, and presumably unless you live ON the runway, yourhouse is still a bit of a drive - 10 mins or so, to the airport? is it that they want to leave thier car outside your house rather than pay for airport parking? That could be accommodated without them staying over.

[WanderingTrolley]

Tell them to park at your place and get a cab.

It's your house, you're uncomfortable with them staying in your absence. Poke your dh in the willy and tell him to say NO.

Or tell them your parents are staying, and all your relations.
Or you've got the pest killers in since PIL's last visit, as the cockroaches won't leave.
Or don't go on holiday and send PILs off instead

[forsale]

they dropped in 40 minutes ago so i was finishing off drying hair, make up and putting last night's ironing away and making beds in readiness for viewing this afternoon and was just going downstairs when i saw mil scooting past the end of the stairs heading towards the door. i siad goodmorning and asked if they were going alerady and she said "yes" and just went. Turns out dh told them i wasnt happy about them staying so they left - he thinks their relationship is in tatters now.

[TinyGang]

I definately would not have my mil staying in my house whilst I was away. She 'means well' which usually ends up with me gnashing my teeth.

[AngharadGoldenhand]

YANBU. They are.

[forsale]

btw thats a 45 minute visit in a month - probably about the third drop in since they've been back in 3 months

[beansprout]

Well, if that's the way they carry on then I'm not impressed.

[Twinkles]

I wouldn't mind MIL in my house while i'm not there. Anything as long as she's not there when i am.

[LucyJones]

don't tell them when you are going away next time

[Twinkles]

We have actually just agreed sale of our house, its incredibly stressfull when your house is on the market keeping it clean, tidy of kiddies toys, beds washed etc etc.
I could't have people tramping through when your struggling to keep on top of it 24/7.
Surely they could park their car and get a taxi!

[forsale]

they were furious apparently - FIlo said I was finished and I wasnt allowed to drive his car anymore - they leave it here when they're in Spain

[Spandex]

Parp. Another example of elders behaving like children when they don't get their own way.

Ignore them. Idiots.

[hippipotami]

It is amazing the sort of things they fall out with you over isn't it?

I once fell out with my IL's when StepMIL wanted access to our garden whilst I was at work to take some cuttings off our holly bush for a christmas flower display she was doing. I said I did not want to leave the rear gate open as our house is just off the highstreet with a lot of foot-traffic, I prefer it to be closed. Also it was a windy day and it would probably have flapped off its' hinges. So I said would they mind waiting until I had come in from work that afternoon.
Well, for some reason they decided not to speak to us for nearly 4 years. Apparently we did not love them and did not want them in our garden?? WTF??

Once ds was born relations were restored, but my god, talk about making a mountain out of a molehill!!!

[AntheaTurnerperfecthousewife]

This all sounds completly irrational. Families should talk and work through their problems.

[Twinkles]

....PMSL Anthea!

[sazzybee]

FGS - do they have nothing else to worry about? Why they can't drive 45 minutes to the airport anyway is beyond me.

Comfort yourself with the fact that if they only allow themselves an hour to clear check in, they'll be likely to miss their plane

[kinki]

It sounds like dh has said/implied that it has been your decision that they can't stay. Where's the solidarity? He should have been saying 'WE don't want you staying'. Have they banned him from using the car too? If so, they ought to find somewhere else to store it when abroad. Is he 'finished' too, or just you?

[tissy]

I'm afraid I'd be just as furious at dh- what a wimp! He's got reservations about them staying, but it appears he's made you out to be the bad one. It's clear that he would rather upset you than his Mummy!

[forsale]

i agree - im cross that he said it was all my doing to be honest but he's unable to stand up to them. MIl had told him that their flight was 8.15 to add weight to their argument.

This is the first time he's actually said they had to consider my feelings too so i guess its a step (albeit crap) in the right direction. Should stop them asking (telling) again.

[HonoriaGlossop]

I wouldn't make a big deal of this TBH in the interests of happy family relationships. It seems very mean spirited IMO. I do agree that it's unecessary really, but they asked and there was no real reason to say no as far as I can see. Viewings could still take place and to be honest not many people view in August, cos they're on holiday, like you!

Was it really worth all this upset all round?

[ShinyHappyPeopleGoingNuts]

Yes, mean spirited indeed, unless you hate your inlaws with good reason.

They are close family FGS..!

[McEdam]

I don't think it's mean-spirited esp. as in laws only live 45 mins from the airport and the OP is trying to sell her house, for heaven's sake.

There's no need for ILs to stay overnight at all. If it's free parking they want, that doesn't have to involve staying, does it? Suspect they are provoking an argument deliberately.

Sounds like some of you who are saying YABU are obviously very relaxed about having guests over than. Good for you. But some of us aren't. Hardly the crime of the century.