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Original poster

To be hurt by friends suggestion. Helpful or just plain homophobic?

187 replies

OreoCheeseCake · 07/11/2019 10:55

Hi,

Bit of background- we're in the process of trying to sell our house and well....it ain't selling.

We're getting increasingly frustrated and it's kind of taking over our lives! We have a lot of viewings, great feed back (usually) and then nothing. People have never mentioned price, only in a positive way and we've already reduced twice and are definitely competitively priced.

Anyway, my DP is a woman and we got married last year. Like most married couples, we have wedding photos scattered around the house. Not loads, not that that should be a problem, but just to explain, we only have 3 or 4.

I have to be honest, it has occasionally crossed my mind before viewings that people might be prejudice, but in their minds, not in their actions. I.e, not making an offer because they're anti gay Confused

I was explaining my frustration to a close friend of mine recently and she suggested we should maybe consider taking our wedding photos down before a viewing, in case it's putting people off Hmm

She tried to soften her words by saying how wrong that would be if it were the case, but that the bottom line is we want to sell our house, so maybe we should just give it a go.

My initial reaction was shock, but then wondered if she had a point...

She can't, can she? Could anyone be that homophobic that they wouldn't want to live in a house that had been occupied by lesbians?!

I feel really hurt.

Every time I look at our photos now, I feel sad. Like they've been tainted. It's such a horrible suggestion. It's taken me right back to when I used to hide all the time.

Could there really be any sense in what she's saying?

TIA

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 07/11/2019 10:57

We're trying to sell my husband's old flat, been on the market for 8 months at a reasonable price. I think its Brexit uncertainty fucking up the market, not because you're a lesbian.

Ishoos · 07/11/2019 10:58

Some people can’t see past the personal touches - so could you make your home a “blank canvas” - this would include removing any nick backs and photos but not for homophobic reasons. If you’re brave - post the link here for some feedback.

HulksPurplePanties · 07/11/2019 10:59

Jeez Op. I really, really, really hope that's not the reason people aren't buying your house. It's 2019 for Christ's sake.

However, given the sorry state of the world right now I can't say it would surprise me if that's the reason they aren't buying your house.

Bigots are assholes and I'm afraid their may be more of them out there then we'd like to believe.

Sad
DappledThings · 07/11/2019 11:00

I don't think it's necessarily homophobic. Advice on selling houses is always to make it as impersonal as possible so taking down anyone's wedding photos would be not an unusual suggestion.

I've only ever had 4 up. 3 are small 6x4s on one bookshelf and one 5x7 on a chest of drawers. Anything bigger/on the walls/more of them I would have taken down before we went on the market. Same for other family photos.

I dunno. People are weird. It wouldn't put me off seeing that people do currently live somewhere but lots of buyers are apparently unable to see beyond that and see it as their home. Just generally though, not because the family photos are of a same-sex couple.

Simkin · 07/11/2019 11:00

God you'd have to be a cock end to think like that wouldn't you? Unfortunately some people are cock ends.

Maybe it's just that wedding photos in general are a bad idea when you're selling because they are a bit of a stamp of ownership? I can't believe it would make a difference but give it a try and see what happens.

Hoppinggreen · 07/11/2019 11:00

Are you sure she meant it was putting people off because you are lesbians rather then just because ether were too many photos?
It’s often advised to depersonalise a house before trying to sell

GeraldineFangedVagine · 07/11/2019 11:02

Hmmmm I wish it wasn’t a possibility op, but it might cross some people’s minds. I’m a lesbian and my wife had someone who was buying something from her from Facebook not take the item when he realised we were two women. Awkward. He made it sound like he’d changed his mind because of price but coincidentally when she introduced me 🤔.

Wubbawubba · 07/11/2019 11:02

It wouldn't surprise me. But please don't let it taint how you feel about your wedding photos! Unfortunately some people are just shit - and that's a reflection of them, not you, your wife, your relationship or your wedding.

I feel I have a good eye for potential in property, so it wouldn't personally bother me, but I can see how some people's view on a property may be clouded if it is overly personal to the current tenants. I think cosy, clean and homely is ideal but not personal if you can help it. I always think ad photos look a lot better when they're not cluttered by photos, memorabilia, ornaments etc, so that may be something to consider.

Dita73 · 07/11/2019 11:04

Your friend just sounds a bit stupid. Don’t take down the pictures. You don’t want some arsehole buying your house and pissing off your current neighbours

Original poster
OreoCheeseCake · 07/11/2019 11:06

She definitely meant because we're a same sex couple.

I get what people are saying about personal touches, but I have never viewed a house without family photos, unless it's unoccupied of course. I think it makes a house feel homely. Obviously there is a line, but that's why we've kept it minimal and subtle. They're not enormous canvases. Just small frames on the coffee table and window sill.

OP posts:
PsychosonicCindy · 07/11/2019 11:09

I can't believe that same sex wedding photos would put people off a house if they otherwise liked everything else about it. Surely not, people aren't that pathetic?

BumbleBeee69 · 07/11/2019 11:11

No way.... I'm not buying this.. not ALL of them surely Confused

Original poster
OreoCheeseCake · 07/11/2019 11:13

Well no @PsychosonicCindy, I would really hope not.

I was really hoping I would just get replies saying how ridiculous it was, but it sounds like some are actually not surprised, which is really sad.

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 07/11/2019 11:14

Its a while since I bought but must admit I hardly noticed the peoples photos etc.

FavouriteSoul · 07/11/2019 11:16

I don't think people are put off buying your house because you're both women. It's the uncertainty of Brexit. Some twats are homophobic but if that was the case, would you really want to sell your house to twats?

DappledThings · 07/11/2019 11:18

They're not enormous canvases. Just small frames on the coffee table and window sill.

Then I can't believe it's that. If it is then I still think it's only because people don't like seeing anything personal, not because of who you are.

FenellaVelour · 07/11/2019 11:18

I bought my house when it was empty but I’d not be put off by family photos or even (the horrors) “live, love, laugh” decals. Those things will go.

I would hope that most people wouldn’t be so bigoted as to not buy a house because of the vendors sexuality, but people disappoint me almost daily, so you never know.

jamoncrumpets · 07/11/2019 11:19

My dad bought his house from a gay couple. Couldn't have cared less and he's in his sixties.

PlasticPatty · 07/11/2019 11:23

I honestly don't think people would be put off buying a house because the present owners are gay, lesbian etc.

Back when, they used to say 'depersonalise' to sell a house, because it's easier for people to imagine themselves living there if they can't see 'you' imprinted on the place.

NoSauce · 07/11/2019 11:23

But it crossed your mind that the photos might be causing a problem with people putting in an offer Confused

Personally I don’t think it’s that at all. I just don’t think people whether they’re homophobic or not would not put in an offer on a house they love just because the sellers are lesbian.

I think you’re friend is bonkers.

NoSauce · 07/11/2019 11:23

Your

WomensRightsAreContraversial · 07/11/2019 11:24

So it's crossed your mind occasionally that ir might be the wedding photos, a close friend has suggested you try removing them to see if it makes a difference and you'e wondering whether to be upset by their comment?

Of course it shouldn't make a difference - but that's at least two of you who have had the thought cross your mind that it might. I don't see taking them down as going back to the dark ages and hiding - more a pragmatic approach. One that you're perfectly entitled to feel angry or sad about.

SheeshazAZ09 · 07/11/2019 11:25

On those "property porn" programmes (that I love), I've heard professionals advice people to remove most, if not all, personal photos from show. That applies whatever sexual orientation you are; it's because some viewers have zero imagination and can't picture themselves in a house that is anything other than a blank canvas. So I would take down the pics--it's only for a short time and to accomplish your aim to sell your house.

RB68 · 07/11/2019 11:26

I don't think she is wrong to suggest it sadly, but honestly sometimes its beloved kits in whack poses or hetro couples in their 80s wedding gear, I just think maybe her reasoning is wrong.

You can make a point or try and see if it makes a difference during viewings - pop them in a drawer and see what happens

Letseatgrandma · 07/11/2019 11:26

I took all photos and Nik-naks down when we were selling to give a blank canvas for buyers.