To be hurt by friends suggestion. Helpful or just plain homophobic?

[OreoCheeseCake]

Hi,

Bit of background- we're in the process of trying to sell our house and well....it ain't selling.

We're getting increasingly frustrated and it's kind of taking over our lives! We have a lot of viewings, great feed back (usually) and then nothing. People have never mentioned price, only in a positive way and we've already reduced twice and are definitely competitively priced.

Anyway, my DP is a woman and we got married last year. Like most married couples, we have wedding photos scattered around the house. Not loads, not that that should be a problem, but just to explain, we only have 3 or 4.

I have to be honest, it has occasionally crossed my mind before viewings that people might be prejudice, but in their minds, not in their actions. I.e, not making an offer because they're anti gay

I was explaining my frustration to a close friend of mine recently and she suggested we should maybe consider taking our wedding photos down before a viewing, in case it's putting people off

She tried to soften her words by saying how wrong that would be if it were the case, but that the bottom line is we want to sell our house, so maybe we should just give it a go.

My initial reaction was shock, but then wondered if she had a point...

She can't, can she? Could anyone be that homophobic that they wouldn't want to live in a house that had been occupied by lesbians?!

I feel really hurt.

Every time I look at our photos now, I feel sad. Like they've been tainted. It's such a horrible suggestion. It's taken me right back to when I used to hide all the time.

Could there really be any sense in what she's saying?

TIA

Yabu to be upset by your friend's suggestion. It was made in good faith and she obviously doesn't think bigotry is ok as evidenced by how she couched it.

It's a good, practical suggestion that covers 2 groups: people who need a blank canvas to envisage their own lives in the space and fuckwits who are either explicitly or implicitly biased.

You're selling your house - everyone's money looks the same. Just be happy you don't have to be neighbours with the fuckwits (if they buy it)

Op are you sure your friend meant it this way? I was told the same advice.

Standard advise when selling is to make the house look as 'blank canvas' as possible, so the viewer can imagine it as theirs.

Homophobia is a horrific, disgusting phenomena.

But your friend was just trying to respond helpfully to what you were saying.

Don’t project your hurt onto her - it’s unfair OP.

I am surprised when looking at houses for sale just how completely bare and impersonal they are - where is all their STUFF???? It seems like people really want a completely blank canvas so it may be absolutely nothing to do with you being a same sex couple and more that you need to declutter. I don't think your friend was being at all homophobic, but the reality is that some people are. Some people also take against a property because of garden gnomes/ patterned wallpaper/ stripey carpets/ feature walls/ lots of stuffed toys on a bed. Other people are generally weird in my experience Don't let it spoil your happy memories and the love you have for your DP.

So let's say for example, you were in an interracial relationship, something which wasn't really acceptee not that long ago and your friend suggested that maybe you should take your wedding photos down, because it might be putting off potential buyers, would you be offended? Or would you be "looking to be offended"?

I would understand that my friend is aware that racism exists and I'd assume she wasn't being racist. Whether or not I'd been attacked or otherwise mistreated wouldn't come into it.

Be good to your friends. Unless you really think she's secretly homophobic, in which case, go for it.

Good luck with selling your house (and personally I'd not take the photos down).

I really don’t think this is why it isn’t selling. I really just think it’s highly unlikely.

Also I definitely don’t think your friend was being homophobic and I’m quite shocked that you’d think that when you clearly said that the thought had crossed your mind too. Were you being homophobic to have that thought as well? Acknowledging that homophobia exists does not make someone homophobic.

I think your friend was trying to be helpful, albeit in a clumsy way. I also think she's wrong.

If she's otherwise a good friend, I'd let it tog, but I'd probably be a teensy bit stung too.

^I'd let it go

If it was the right price and what you wanted I doubt being owned by lesbians would stop the sale .

I think photos can influence a buyer. I viewed one house which clearly belonged to a hunter - photos posing next to various dead animals including a cheetah. I was actually really glad the house wasn’t what I wanted as I would have struggled to buy from such an odious individual.

Wedding photos, regular family photos and the like wouldn’t phase me, nor would ugly decor or niknaks. Photos of lots of kids might raise questions though about whether it was a particularly child oriented area, or whether there was the possibility of damage to the property based on a large number of people living there (based on a previous experience of a house where the previous owners has 6 kids who’d basically trashed the place).

It’s tricky, I think all buyers will be influenced by something or other.