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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bf's mum now doesn't like me because of this...

197 replies

Gigi178 · 06/11/2019 22:51

I'm absolutely mystified at what's happened the past few days so much so I haven't spoken to my boyfriend...
Basically bf of 3 years parents went on holiday about a month ago. I saw them on their return and his mum bought me a lovely silver bracelet, said thanks etc, it's lovely etc...
Fast forward, weekend just gone, they've been back from holiday about 3 weeks ish and I hadn't seen them as boyfriend has changed shifts, I've been busy etc or his mums been out when I visited.
Weekend just gone, his family had a birthday celebration I was invited to... Got there, his mum goes 'why are you not wearing the bracelet?' I was a bit taken aback.. I only had a pair of studs on that day so wasn't particularly dolled up with accessories. I said 'oh I've not made much effort today, it's at home in my jewelery box'. Well, for the rest of the day she was really off with me. Even boyfriend's sister was frowning at me alot. Felt so uncomfortable I left earlier than I usually would and made an excuse about having an early start next day.
Next morning, boyfriend rings, I'm still in bed, forgot I said about the early start Confused and boyfriend jumped on it that I'd lied and why did i duck out last night.
I ended up saying about the bracelet and he said, his mums upset that I didn't like it because I hadn't wore it. Didn't know what to say, wanted to say 'oh ffs' but didn't.. Told boyfriend if his mum mentions it again to tell her I love it (like i already had).
I was then going to pop round on Monday, boyfriend told me he thinks it's best I don't because his mums still upset so I texted her sayin I love the bracelet, pls don't think I don't, I have worn it, just didn't that particular day... Got a text back from her sayin 'it's fine, you just appear to be very ungrateful'....
Haven't text back since Monday, boyfriends not rung me...

Is it me? I feel like I'm in a dream bubble and they've lost their minds.... Shock

OP posts:
happychange · 06/11/2019 22:55

Just consider this as a lucky escape... they sound mental

SleepingStandingUp · 06/11/2019 22:56

It's not you, assuming you seemed genuinely happy to receive it. I wouldn't have thought to make sure I wore it whenever I saw her!!

You've tried to assure her you like it, if your BF is going to break off or ruin a 3 Yr relationship over it, then you deserve better

pallisers · 06/11/2019 22:57

weirdos.

Still though I think you should be very fond of that silver bracelet - it has shown you how weird his mum and family are and how much he is all part of it.

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory · 06/11/2019 22:58

They’re bonkers!

MamaDane · 06/11/2019 23:02

Jesus christ this family seems extra. Personally I wouldn't wear a fancy bracelet to a casual family thing either. I rarely wear jewelry. But I'd be sure to use it at special occasions. If my in laws reacted this way I'd think they were mental to be honest. Her calling you ungrateful as well. Jeez.

Gigi178 · 06/11/2019 23:02

Should I just leave it until he calls me.. At least that'd be a sign that she's over it? Or act like nothings happened. Blush

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 06/11/2019 23:03

They sound a right bunch of weirdos , your bf included... maybe you've had a lucky escape?

Ekundayo · 06/11/2019 23:03

Just stop contacting them, heave a sigh of relief and post the Bracelet of Ingratitude through the letter box.

Ekundayo · 06/11/2019 23:05

Your boyfriend needs to cut the apron strings if he’s huffing because his mother’s huffing. Does he still live with his parents?

biggles50 · 06/11/2019 23:05

Speak to your bf and tell him you're genuinely bewildered by the bracelet drama. It was a gift, you said thank you, you like it, you're keeping it for an appropriate occasion and that should be the end of the matter.

scrivette · 06/11/2019 23:05

Get rid of him, keep the bracelet though otherwise they will really think you don't like it!

pictish · 06/11/2019 23:08

Right well...there’s your warning. She’s a nightmare and the sister gets in on the act too.

You have done enough. Do not apologise again.
Consider a future with this nonsense to contend with on the regular...then decide if he’s worth it.

TheReluctantCountess · 06/11/2019 23:11

What an odd situation. Do you want to be with him, having seen this side of him and his family?

theoriginalmadambee · 06/11/2019 23:15

I'll say it for you FFS

How old is your BF? Let me guess 12-15 if any older run...

Halo1234 · 06/11/2019 23:17

You are not being unreasonable. They all seem a bit immature. So what if u didnt like the braclet. I know u did but even if u didnt it still wouldnt be reasonable to act like they did. Dont apologise. You said you liked it just didnt have it on that day (so what.......talk about first world problems). I would ignore the drama. Let your bf come to you. If u felt like being the bigger person u could make sure to wear it next time u see her. But I would be tempted to not wear it. She cant control what u wear. Sounds like this will be one of many dramas.

bluetue · 06/11/2019 23:17

They sound crackers to be honest and really do you want a future with him and have to put up with this nonsense for the rest of your life??????

HyacynthBucket · 06/11/2019 23:18

I would run for it unless you want this nutter for MIL.

testingtesting111 · 06/11/2019 23:20

Agree with @bluetue. Honestly, your boyfriend is being naughty. You need to set some clear boundaries or your future will be unbearable, particularly if kids are thrown into the mix.

madcatladyforever · 06/11/2019 23:21

Oh for gods sake what drama llamas. Are you supposed to wear it like a shackle for the rest of your life?

KellyHall · 06/11/2019 23:22

Warning crazy family alert!

Don't wait for them to contact you, try to forget you were ever unfortunate enough to have met any of the loons: bf / bf mum / bf sister / any other weirdos. They sound proper mental.

avamiah · 06/11/2019 23:25

You say you have been with him for 3 years?,
Surely something like this must of happened before?
As it’s sounds strange they would react like this now ?
Am I missing something ??

OctoberLovers · 06/11/2019 23:25

How old are you both?

ThatMuppetShow · 06/11/2019 23:25

do you want THAT as a mother-in-law?

She would be just about bearable with a supporting partner, and moving to the other side of the country , but nd boyfriend jumped on it that I'd lied and why did i duck out last night

blimey, I would honestly run.
Read all the threads about nightmare relationships and weird in-law arguments. You are in one already.

BumbleBeee69 · 06/11/2019 23:26

You are not being unreasonable OP.

these people are not stable FFS... of course you only wear the bangle when it feels appropriate. She's obviously a pure control freak that must dictate everything and everyone's movements. I agree you have had a very lucky escape, because your BF did not have your back, infact quite the opposite... he sounds like a spineless mummy's boy.. well let her keep her little darling delicate spineless snowflake.

Personally.... I'd send the bangle back.. but that's just me.. I'll always cut of my nose to spite my face.. Flowers

littlepaddypaws · 06/11/2019 23:29

fgs don't marry into this family, living in the same country would be too close for me !