If you're a parent, when did you have time to...

[CandyCaneLove]

I have a 10 month old DD and the relentlessness of parenting and complete lack of free time has been a huge shock to me. I have a supportive DH but he works full time and is out of the house all day and only home after DD is asleep during the week. On weekends he does a lot but I tend to catch up on sleep when he has DD for a couple of hours as she isn't a good sleeper so I'm perpetually knackered.

What age were your kids when you could:

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?
2. Regularly exercise?
3. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?
4. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Even if it's years away I'd like to know if I'm ever going to get small bits of freedom back. At the moment it feels I never will (without arranging childcare).

I have a 6 year old, a 3 year old and a 12 weeks old.

I’d say that I can put my make up on and get ready now, when alone with all three of them. Baby in the bouncer and the other two just plodding in the room with me. Probably could dry my hair.

I’ve regularly exercised since baby was 6 weeks. We do an hours walk each day whilst he’s in the sling and the last few week I have downloaded an at home workout off Pinterest which I do each evening when the kids are in bed. Probably won’t go to the gym until my youngest stops breastfeeding.

I think when the baby is 1, and eating confidently it’s easier for my to eat. I remember by that age with my other children I would sit st the table and have my tea with them.

Never been able to do 4 yet!

1. From day 1. At first I did it when he was sleeping. Now I take him into the bathroom with me while I shower (I put some toys down or different items for him to explore - he's 6 months) then do my hair and makeup while he has his morning nap.

1. From about 8 weeks, once my stitches had healed. Just cos I have the time doesn't mean I do it though

1. Nope, not achieved that yet. I eat breakfast and lunch while he naps and dinner once he's in bed for the night.

1. I sometimes manage to watch things whilst lying on his play mat next to him but like hell can he play independently

I think it really helps to have a routine. We do up between 6/7, 90 min nap 9-10.30, another nap 1.30 - 3, then bed for the night at 7. He wakes multiple times a night but having a routine in the day means you can shower and eat reliably at least x

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?
6 months when I went back to work

2. Regularly exercise?
Exercise? What's that?

3. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?
We took DS to a wedding when he was 10 months and had a lovely leisurely meal whilst he sat in a highchair eating finger food.

4. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?
I only ever watch TV in the evenings so can't really help with that one.

From birth, I was strict, DS was in a routine, we had a playpen. He was in bed at 7pm every night.

Maybe I was just lucky, he was always a great sleeper but equally I made sure my needs were met as well as his; & I always took time for myself during the evenings & weekends when DH was around.

Op, I really don’t think you need to know the details of when people were able to do your list of things. All children are different and all parents are different for that matter. All you need to know is it does get easier. Hang in there, things will get better.

Ragwort - haha strict with a newborn.

DD is 18 months.

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?
I was able to put her in the car seat or bouncy chair while I was showering and doing make up from about 3 months. Before that, DH or my mum was around to watch her. I always let my hair dry naturally, I've never blow dried it since she was born (or in the 10 years before that).

2. Regularly exercise?
I started exercising when she was about 5 months, doing the 30 day shred during her morning naps (as it's a short workout). When she dropped the morning nap I just continued to do it while she was awake, but left CBeebies on and a box of toys nearby.
We have loads of Mum and baby exercise classes around here (where the baby is supposed to quietly play alongside) so you could see if there are any local to you (I never went to one as it was quicker to just exercise at home).

3. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?
I'm still rushing my meals, or waiting until she's asleep (she naps at lunchtime and we eat after her bedtime anyway). We've started to do brunch meals out as a family, but I still have to rush my eating as DH and I take turns to help her eat.

4. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?
Usually only watch TV when she's in bed or napping. But most of the stuff I'd want to watch isn't really suitable for her to see anyway. I used to do a few parent and baby cinema screenings when she was younger (which she usually slept through) but now she's too old.

We're planning to put DD in a nursery for a couple of days when she's 2 so I'm looking forward to having more time to exercise and re-start my hobbies then!

Having a shower - fill sink with toy fish, they are entertained while you get to shower.

Blow dry hair - a basket of toys they ONLY ever play with while you blow dry hair

Eat with the kids

Only when they are in bed, sorry!

Oops just saw age, hmm, I used to take DDs in shower with me in the high chair with a high chair toy!

I joined a gym with a creche (my one and only monthly treat to myself), showered with my bubba in a bath bouncer/seat which is fun, blow dry my hair and at regular intervals point the drier at bubba for cute giggles, only bothered with BB cream, eyebrow pencil and mascara which took just a few minutes, always eat with baby alternating between a spoon for me and a spoon for baby which encouraged him to eat more. Chilled and watched TV during naps.

Please don't wait for it to get easier because honestly it won't. Your baby will nap less and demand more attention. I know it sounds easier said than done but the best thing to do is work hard on adapting and making the most of every precious moment. You will miss your baby being small ♥️

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

Used to put them in cot when showering, gets trickier when they are todders so used to shower/bath when DH was home, dry hair, i normally leave mine to try naturally but would still use a hairdryer if they are around but not up to salon standards but thats my lack of skill, ditto make up, always wear light make up, tinted moisturizer , mascara, blusher, doesn't take long to apply. I suppose it depends on your standards!

1. Regularly exercise?

More tricky, used to put them in pushchair and go for long walks or try an exercise dvd but thats hard when they jump on you when you're doing sit ups! tbh it wasnt until they were 8 ish that I managed and even then if i put my davina dvd I'd get constant interruptions, you'll probably need to leave them with someone else and get out of the house to exercise properly.

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

Probably when they were a few months old, thou I remember a lot of food I choose, particularly when out, was based around the fact I could eat it one handed while holding baby/toddler with the other.

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Never. only used to get to watch TV I wanted when they were asleep. Take heart when they get to 12-13 they won't leave their bedrooms and you'll hardly see them. Feels like this stage lasts forever when you're living through it, with my first DC who was very collicky I remember thinking wtf have I done my life is ruined! But one day you'll look back and miss the times when they were little-honest!

18 and twelve and a half for mine.

Other people have better lives and are better parents.

It takes so damn long though. I have my shower with him whining and banging on the glass. It takes me forever to get dressed and do my hair. This morning I started at 9 and I'm now half dressed and breastfeeding him at 10:30...

My friend visits a gym that has a crèche, not sure how common those are but sounded great to me.

I think I have been lucky and have really easygoing kids because I’ve never really struggled to eat a meal or wash my hair.