If you're a parent, when did you have time to...

[CandyCaneLove]

I have a 10 month old DD and the relentlessness of parenting and complete lack of free time has been a huge shock to me. I have a supportive DH but he works full time and is out of the house all day and only home after DD is asleep during the week. On weekends he does a lot but I tend to catch up on sleep when he has DD for a couple of hours as she isn't a good sleeper so I'm perpetually knackered.

What age were your kids when you could:

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?
2. Regularly exercise?
3. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?
4. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Even if it's years away I'd like to know if I'm ever going to get small bits of freedom back. At the moment it feels I never will (without arranging childcare).

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

From day one...I'd pop them in their moses basket and get ready. I can shower in a minute... literally and do a full face of make up in three minutes!

2. Regularly exercise?

Only once they were in nursery

3. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

3 or 4

4. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

3 I think in the same room.

Having a shower - from day one. DD either was sleeping, ion DH's care of safely in a crib/baby proof room. I cannot not have a shower so it can be done. I also always went alone to the toilet unless we were out.
Make up - I don't bother outside work

Exercise - I either walked for miles with the pram or went swimming at the weekend with either DH and DD playing in the baby pool or they stayed at home.

Eating - most days. DD was next to me and loved watching and we later always ate togehter. The odd time DH and I tried to eat when DD was in bed something went wrong.

Watching TV - sorry, no daytime TV after DD stopped breastfeeding.

1. Wash/dry etc - I used to put my son in his jumperoo in the bedroom whilst I dried my hair and did makeup. Now he runs about upstairs (child proofed).
2. Exercise - you can go for a run with the pushchair. Or follow a YouTube video when they're in bed. Most nights my hubby doesn't get home till 10pm. But every other Monday he is home and I go to a salsa class by myself when my 2 year old is in bed.
3. Eat a meal - quite early. I've alwayst just eaten whilst baby was in highchair (it reclined so could go in it from very early). Before he could eat I got highchair toys. When he turned 6 months I gave him finger foods to keep him company. He takes longer than me so I've always had plenty of time!
4. TV show - I could watch stuff when he was a newborn. Then in babyhood I couldn't. Now in toddler hood he has his own shows he requests! I generally only watch TV when he's in bed.

If you can manage it try to work an early bedtime into your routine. My toddler has now dropped his nap and is asleep at 5pm every night! (this is very early I'm not suggesting this it's just what he needs).. But knowing I have the evening to myself makes dedicating the day to him just fine!

My son has turned 2 today and he is just so much easier now than when he was a baby.

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care? - as soon as they can toddle and play alone, so 12-14 months?

1. Regularly exercise? - when they went to nursery, so 3-4ish? But that’s because I prefer the gym. You can do exercises at home and they join in which is fun and good for them.

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time? - hmm aged 5, 7 and 10 here and unless we are eating out I’m still fairly up and down getting drinks/sauces etc. But they can start doing that themselves from 4 really I just tend to be “busy”

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently? - never, it feels wrong to watch my tv when they are up! But I do other stuff like MN and read. And when they get to 5+ you can watch stuff you all like together instead of crap kids tv! Very much enjoyed watching Young Sheldon and Harry Potter with the 10yo.

Birth from all of those. Although granted I only have 1 DC so life is much easier and I'm lucky

Oh gosh, DD has just turned two and we’re not there yet. I can just about squeeze a shower in with the help of CBeebies, but hair and make up? Yeah, that doesn’t happen. Hair goes straight in a plait wet, and makeup doesn’t happen. If I want to do hair and makeup properly then someone else needs to be with her. Exercise is a no. I’ve attempted some YouTube workouts but DD climbs all over me. She’s very cute, but it doesn’t really work out. Walking with them in the pushchair is about as good as I could get it really, everything else needs to be facilitated by DH and I tend to value catching up on sleep or work when he can have her. Eating is a lot better now she eats properly in the highchair, she’ll sit with us and eat. We’ve moved our dinner time to between 6 and 7 and that’s actually really nice family time together. TV? No, that happens once she’s in bed unfortunately. We have a second on the way, so things are going to get a bit more difficult for a bit now. I wouldn’t change her, but life is different now. Richard Herring described the first five years as being in the tunnel. I think it’s going to be like this for a little while yet. They’re little for such a short time trying to enjoy what I can, but it is hard. The other stuff will come, and soon enough they won’t want us anymore! Trying to be happy with the new normal!

11mo. We bath together, I wash my hair in the sink while she's playing. I don't blow dry it anyway.
Walk 2 hours a day with the buggy and dog/walk into town if we need to go shopping.
Eat at the same time so I don't have to rush.
I watch things I like when she's in bed (horror)

I’m thinking back to when we moved back to the south and the youngest was around 10 months.
Bath or shower them with you or put them on the bathroom floor with some bath toys.Put them on the floor whilst you dry your hair and do makeup. Do you never go out as a couple?

Exercise with the child/ren. Walking with them in a rucksack or buggy. I used to run after they were asleep. Jogging the streets after dark was quite nice. Swimming as a family so husband can take it in turns for proper swimming. Alternatively late adult swimming or gym sessions.

Eating together. They stay in the high chair until the meal is finished. It wasn’t the baby that made things hectic, it was the activities for her siblings.

Discouraged all but late evening television and the odd special programme.

Mine is 12 months.

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

DH works from home so I shower while he entertains DS. If DH is away, hair is done the night before (it's curly) and a shower is 30 seconds pits and bits in the morning. DS has outgrown the bedside cot and bouncer so would just bash himself on the bedside tables if I left him roaming. His room is on another floor.

1. Regularly exercise?

Walking with pram. I would prioritise reading, a bath or cinema any day.

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

About 7 months. He has a great high chair toy and can be distracted with snacks.

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Now, with lots of pauses!

Number 1 - when they were a few months old although it would take a while, having to start and stop to tend to baby. She's 2 and a half I can do all of it in one go but still need to keep an eye out and keep her away from my make up!

Number 2 - I started back at the gym when she was 4months old. Got my sister/husband or mum to watch her. It was only to lose the excess baby weight and tone up so I only went for 2 months and haven't been bk since. I'm naturally slim, don't enjoy exercising and can think of lots of other things I'd rather do with some spare time.

Number 3 - hmmm I never enjoy a meal really when she's around, not that I rush it more that she needs the toilet or interrupts all the time. I did enjoy a meal out with her recently (they had a soft play, it's now our favourite place lol)

Number 4 - About 5/6 months she was happy to sit up and play with toys. She's always played well on her own. Actually that age was the best coz she didn't moan to get peppa on the telly 😂

IME it's depends on the child. DC2 was colic for 9 months so I could hardly get anything done in that time. DC3 is 3 months, very chilled out and I can probably do most of the things on your list (he has slept through the night since he was 9 weeks old!).

I did buggy Bootcamp with ds from him being six weeks old and Parkrun with him if dh was away or without him if dh was home from about three months. Buggy bootcamp was fun and I met nice women there.

1. Never had a problem showering or putting on makeup. at the start he came into the shower etx with me. Now he plays in his room whilst I have all the doors open (hes 3). I've never religiously blow dried my hair.
2. We've only recently grabbed the occasional gym session as hes at nursery. Can be a bugger though because of work more than anything else.
3. Always eat together from the very beginning. Always reinforced that meal times are priorities and almost everything else can wait. We did however used to have to rush down food when we were out because he wanted to run about and explore.
4. Always watched my own programmes as long as its age appropriate or something that would go completely over his head. I refuse to be a slave to cbeebies (although it has its place).

He isn't the easiest of children, nor is he difficult. However I agree with pp that you need to start as you mean to go on. All the talk on mn of cold tea and never showering seems the exception rather than the rule, I've literally never met a single person in real life that hasnt got time to shower at least.

1. My 1 year old plays alone in the sitting room whilst I shower and then plays in my bedroom when I do hair and makeup.

2. My exercise has just been walking with her in a wrap on my back. Just bought a second hand jogging stroller so we’ll see how we get on with that!

3. We have all our meals together - mostly at a painfully slow pace. Much easier once solids took over from breastfeeding.

4. If we go somewhere with the television on, my 1 year old just stares at it, transfixed. So any television watching is now after her bedtime.

A combination of a parenting policy of benign neglect and the sheer luck of an extremely easy-going child means she can generally fit into my life — as long as I accept that everything takes longer and the house won’t be clean for some time yet!

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

Every day from the beginning! Though my 'makeup routine' is about 3 minutes and my hair is short. It's much easier when they're a baby I'm afraid and you can pop them in a bouncer/playpen while you shower - once they are 18 months+ you have to hope they don't cause chaos while you're in there.

1. Regularly exercise?

I don't with them in my sole care. But I guess I could easily enough do it at home while a 4+ child watched TV in another room.

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

Once you're past the newborn stage, what are you rushing for? Why can't you spare the time? Either eat with them of have your lunch while they nap

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Again, from the beginning. Easier when they're under 1 as they can't demand Peppa and you can watch stuff with swearing

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

I don’t blow dry my hair but have done the rest since birth, just put her in the bouncer. Now she plays on the bathroom floor or cones in with me.

1. Regularly exercise?

Trying to get into it now, she’s 19 months!

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

I can if she’s free to potter around, she’s not at the stage where she’ll sit nicely in a resteraunt yet (that was easier when she was a newborn!)

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Have pretty much always done this? Will occasionally stick X factor or something on catch up while she potters. We watched The Dog House together, she got very excited yelling woof woof every time a dog came on screen xD

I have a 5yr old and 22m old. I have always shower and washed my hair, put make up on every day. Used to take bouncer in bathroom , provide lots of toys in bedroom.
Exercise tough. I have started running in the last 2montha but only when I have their dad at home.
Meals fairly early aswel. I just ensures that it was a priority that I ate

Actually I think it's easier to have a shower and get dressed with a newborn baby than it is with a toddler.

All from day one. Apart from exercising anyway as I don’t

For all of those things at the same time period I'd say 2.5/3 yrs

7 is when they become civilised. Anything before that is a chore.

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

From newborn. They sat in a bouncer in the bathroom watching me.

1. Regularly exercise?

Around 1 year. I breastfed until then.

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

From newborn.

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

Never. I used to watch tv when they were months old, but now they are preschoolers I never get to watch my programmes until they are in bed.

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

My son is 2 and I can do those things

1. Regularly exercise?

I started exercising when my youngest was 1 (using crèche at gym when his sister is at school, the weekend when my husband is home or early morning when husband is home. I could have done this from about 6 months (when he went long enough between breastfeeds).

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

Probably about a year? (Although we eat our tea when they're in bed to save this)

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently?

I did this today and my son is 2.5.

Doing activity 1,2 and 3 without having any interruptions and without having to plan an activity to keep the kids busy happened when they were 4 and 6. I don't watch my telly programmes when they're awake. I keep it for after bedtime.

16 month old...

1. Have a shower, blow dry your hair and put make up on with them in your care?

Have a shower and blow dry hair at night when they are in bed. Put make up on most mornings whilst they play

1. Regularly exercise? Difficult - can do some workouts whilst they are awake (with interruptions) or asleep, or go for a run if they have babysitter

1. Eat a meal whilst they're awake without rushing it as you can't really spare the time?

We all try to eat at the same time. It’s not rushed but it is usually one handed / cold as helping with theirs

1. Watch a TV show you want to watch whilst they play independently? Haha only chance Tv gets watched when they are asleep and then we are too knackered and fall asleep anyway!

I found it got a bit easier once they could walk and feed themselves a little