To ask my MIL to stay in an AirBnB when she visits?

[LoverNotOfChicken]

We have 3 kids and a 3 bedroom house. Lots of kids, toys and stuff! Rejig of rooms when she stays, blow up beds etc.

About 4 houses down is an AirBnB, £26 per night. Really nice lady runs / owns it. Is it unreasonable to suggest she stops there in future? MIL doesn't visit often, only 3 times a year for a 4 days, no FIL on the scene.

Doesn’t seem unreasonable to me, but I can imagine your MIL would be put out. Just book her in though and see what happens. You could say it would be more peaceful for her.

Not unreasonable if you book and pay for it.
Have to ask if your mum or parents are around, if the same option would work.
Having a decent option so close to your house is a bonus. You could sneak off sometimes and sleep there yourself!

I don't think you're BU at all

It sounds like it's v close by and you don't really have the spare room/space, although her stay is a v short one

What does your DH think?

I said that to my DH! Would be perfect for a little kip! 💤

My mum passed away but the rest of my family is within 20 minute drive so no stop over needed for them.

Thank you for your help so far. Do you think we should offer to pay for the room? Trying to think about how to phrase it.

DH is very laid back and doesn't have a view on it tbh. Organising the visits is down to me.

Would you ask your own mother to stay elsewhere? If yes, then it is not unreasonable to ask the same of your mother-in-law.

Well, YABU to just book her in and decide for her.

YWNBU to offer it to her

Nor, WYBU t book yourself in for a couple of days' peace

I've just seen your update and realised your mum isn't around anymore (sorry) but I would say the same rule would apply; If your mum was and wanted to visit needing somewhere to stay, if an Airbnb would have been reasonable for you to suggest for her, then it is also reasonable to suggest it for your mother-in-law.

My own mother died so won't be staying here or in an AirBnB.

Absolutely definitely pay for the air B+B if you're suggesting it to MIL.

It would be unfair as she's expecting to stay at yours without paying to suddenly spring a bill for accommodation on her. Just say 'We're treating you to ...

Realistically though, she might well be offended. ‘Marge I know we’re a rowdy bunch and it can be a bit manic at ours at BBC times. Did I tell you that Rosie at Number 6 is doing B&B for £26 a night. Do you fancy it?’

I’m just not sure tbh.

BBC? I don’t know how that sneaked in

Dunno, that is a tricky one.

Yes Queen! That in my head is how it awkwardly sounds! 🙈

I think it's a genius idea. She must surely know that her staying is putting someone out of their own bed? If it's going to cause a huge problem...... can you stay in the AirB&B for some peace?!

Too bloody right I would be booking her in there. Having multiple kids is difficult enough without upsetting routines and having them sharing bedrooms etc. Infact I don't know where you are but I'm booking Enids airB&B for my MIL next visit

When you DH makes the suggestion, make it clear that you feel the disruption is too much for your family - and maybe offer to pay half.

Don't phrase it as being nicer for her, as that gives her the chance to say she's absolutely fine on the sofa, or whatever she usually has.

I'm a gran who voluntarily stays in a b&b when visiting, as I think it makes the visit more enjoyable for everyone.

Offer the Airbnb as a more attractive/restful prospect for her.
You would have to pay. It’s just the decent thing to do. You don’t see her often, so it’s worth the small, infrequent expense.

@LoverNotOfChicken

YANBU, but you should pay for her room.

I wouldn't be paying either I'm afraid

Thank you! Nice to have a Gran's opinion on it. 😀

And make your suggestion well in advance of the next visit, so she has plenty of time to get used to the idea.

She is a nice MIL, should add that in. Would be nice if she comes to visit more often but doesn't (unsure why).

All sounds positive so far. 😀

If I was meant to be staying with someone, and they farmed me out to a B & B and expected me to pay for myself, that would be the last time I visited them.

@LoverNotOfChicken you (and your DH) HAVE to pay for your MIL's Air B & B.

it would be horrible to expect her to pay for herself. Awful manners, and terrible etiquette, aa well as rather unkind and thoughtless.

Maybe she doesn't come often because she feels she's putting you to a lot of bother.
Saying you'd like to see her more often could make it clear you are not trying to get rid of her.
Best of luck.