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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving baby to go on holiday...

218 replies

Newbie1999 · 28/10/2019 10:59

More of a WWYD

Opportunity has presented itself for husband and I to have a very cheap City break (Asia - cheap because it will only be my flight we’d need to pay for). However, we have a 4 yo and a 8 month old (will be nearly 1 at the time).

We’re lucky enough to have great parents who we know wouldn’t hesitate to have them for us, but I’m not sure how I’ll feel about leaving the baby so young (it would be 6 nights). However, it will be a long time before the opportunity arises again.

WWYD?!

OP posts:
Whereland · 28/10/2019 11:00

Nobody can tell you what to do here unfortunately, we're all different! I personally couldn't go for 6 nights. But a friend of mine left her 7 week old for a 5 night holiday. Do what feels right for you!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 28/10/2019 11:03

Disclaimer: I don't have any children.

But I was a child once! My parents left me aged 5 and my brother aged 6 months, and had three weeks in South Africa in similar circumstances. Everyone happy 😊

The kids will be fine, if you can bring yourself to leave them.

Wallabyone · 28/10/2019 11:05

Yes, it's really personal. I have a friend who left her 15 week old to go the states for a week, and others who regularly go away for breaks as couples. It's not I would do myself, as I wouldn't relax and would feel it a burden for grandparents to have them overnight for a period, and they would be waking up, etc. Aside from anything else, mine were all breastfed and wouldn't have coped away from me at that age.

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/10/2019 11:07

I would not leave a baby to go in a holiday. Plenty of time for that when they are older.

Wintersnowdrop · 28/10/2019 11:08

I wouldn’t at that age but your circumstances may be very different. I was still breastfeeding and we didn’t have very involved grandparents. If your baby is regularly looked after by your parents, then it may well be different for you. But at a year, your baby won’t understand why you have disappeared, different for your four year old who at least will understand.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/10/2019 11:09

I personally wouldnt/ couldnt leave my baby for that long, everyones different, I doubt your child will be scarred

ilovehalloween · 28/10/2019 11:09

Nope

SVRT19674 · 28/10/2019 11:11

Nope, would never leave my daughter to go on holiday. Or she comes or we don't go. End of.

Hollachica · 28/10/2019 11:11

No, my sister did this & left the baby with my parents, she never really got over it.

misspiggy19 · 28/10/2019 11:12

Nope I wouldn’t do it either

stucknoue · 28/10/2019 11:14

I would go if I wasn't breastfeeding (which I was at that age). Grab opportunities, too many couples drift apart after having kids

sweeneytoddsrazor · 28/10/2019 11:15

I would do it. You have GPs you trust and are happy to do it. Yes you will miss them but yiu may never get another chance.

AwkwardFucker · 28/10/2019 11:16

I would (I will admit I’m not very maternal though and go on holiday without my children all the time 😳) however I’m not sure I could bring myself to ask anyone to look after a 4yo and an 8 month old for an extended period of time. It’s a big ask, those aren’t super cruisey ages IMO.

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/10/2019 11:18

Up to you but I wouldn’t.

Couples can stay connected without leaving their children for a week.

babycatcher411 · 28/10/2019 11:19

It’s definitely very personal, and also probably depends on if/how long you’ve left them for already.

I did similar with DS1 when he was little, although it was my parents taking him away whilst I stayed home for college, but we lived with them, I was a single parent and had gone back to school when DS1 was 4 weeks old, so was used to being away from him.

DS2 however, I haven’t left for more than about 2/3 hours, and he’s 7.5 months now and I couldn’t imagine leaving him for as long as you say even by a year old

So if you both feel you’d be okay leaving them for that long, go for it.

Allegorical · 28/10/2019 11:21

Not an 8 month old for that long, no way!! I haven’t left any of mine overnight before they were 18 months old. Even after that I have only ever left them for one night, possibly a weekend once. Plenty of time for that sort of thing in the future.

Jollitwiglet · 28/10/2019 11:23

There's nothing wrong with doing it if the children will be in good hands. It's not something I would personally do as I wouldn't feel able to leave such a young child for that long. But if you would be able to enjoy yourself, go for it

Adogwithabone · 28/10/2019 11:26

Friends of ours went on holiday to Mexico for a week leaving their 9 month old with loving grandparents who the baby saw twice a week and was happy with.

The baby was so distressed and had such terrible separation anxiety, he refused any milk and ended up being hospitalised.

I wouldn't leave my baby.

AwkwardFucker · 28/10/2019 11:26

Plenty of time for that sort of thing in the future

This line gets trotted out to me all the time and honestly it makes me go Hmm

How do you know there will be plenty of time? You could drop dead tomorrow, or in a year, or at any time really. “Plenty of time” is honestly one of the weirdest things people say.

ajandjjmum · 28/10/2019 11:29

If you're happy to go, I would. The baby won't really know, it's your older one you need to 'cater' for. We always found a present to open every day, together with a little note, worked wonders.

It worked because our DC were used to spending a night a week away from us, and we had double cover, incase of any difficulties.

As an aside, DS had numerous operations when he was small, which meant leaving DD with others for several days at a time. It worked - it had to.

Greggers2017 · 28/10/2019 11:29

Go it is very important to have time as a couple without children and this is a great opportunity for it. The kids will be spoilt by grandma and you'll have time to yourselves.
Yes you're parents now but it doesn't mean you can't have treats together.
The healthiest relationships are where couples take time out together. Baby will be nearly 1 too so not exactly a newborn.

GrumpyHoonMain · 28/10/2019 11:32

At those ages all the kids in my family would quite easily have gone to Asia. Honestly, in my opinion, if you can’t afford to take your kids on holiday then you can’t afford a holiday

Littlepond · 28/10/2019 11:34

I would! My kids have done overnight stays since 6 months old, at their grandparents. Don’t see the harm?!

Cantsleeppast3am · 28/10/2019 11:34

Exactly awkward fucker anything can happen anytime. And if there's an emergency and you're a 12-14 hour flight away?? It's too far with such small children.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 28/10/2019 11:36

Go! Leave the DCs with parents for a weekend or two before hand so you can all get used to it.