Leaving baby to go on holiday...

[Newbie1999]

More of a WWYD

Opportunity has presented itself for husband and I to have a very cheap City break (Asia - cheap because it will only be my flight we’d need to pay for). However, we have a 4 yo and a 8 month old (will be nearly 1 at the time).

We’re lucky enough to have great parents who we know wouldn’t hesitate to have them for us, but I’m not sure how I’ll feel about leaving the baby so young (it would be 6 nights). However, it will be a long time before the opportunity arises again.

WWYD?!

I’ve left mine to go on holiday with dh and also with my friends but not that young. I wouldn’t have done at that age but it’s a personal choice and I wouldn’t judge someone who did. My youngest was 4 when I first went away without them and the oldest was 11.

Normally I would say go for it. However that is peak separation anxiety age for the baby and you are too far away to nip back if there is a problem. I would probably plan to go away with DH somewhere closer to home when both kids are over 18 months.

I think it's really up to you. Some people can, some can't. Nothing wrong with either. My friend did. And she and her dh had a great time, and kids had great time with grans. Everyone was happy.

Its not how you feel , its how the children will feel. The 4 year old will understand how long 6 days is, 1 year old wont. I looked after my granddaughters for 5 days last year they were the same age. 4 yr old loved it, just a little adventure for her. The 1 year old who was normally very placid and easy going became very hard work. I literally could not put her down, I couldn't leave a room without her, she woke up loads in the night. We felt so sorry for her, she looked so bewildered and confused, it was a very long 5 days !

Oh that'll be it then Drabarni - I obviously didn't love my children enough.

No, my sister did this & left the baby with my parents, she never really got over it.

@Hollachica

That's a little dramatic? Who never got over it? The child?

FWIW - in theory I'd be fine with it, in reality I've never left mine that young (or for that long)

DP and I did begin to plan a city break when our youngest was 6 months old [2 days and 2 nights] but it never happened.

Everyone is different. I couldn’t leave my 8 month old (when she was 8 months) as she was breastfed and refused bottles. But if your baby is bottle fed/takes bottles and will go to sleep for someone else then it’s easier. It also depends on child temperament - mine always had terrible separation anxiety but others I know have babies who literally don’t blink an eyelid when their mum is out.

I wouldn’t, not at that age. OK for the 4yo but I think that’s a tricky age for the baby in terms of separation anxiety - they’ll realise you’re missing, for a really really long time, and not yet have the understanding to hear reassurances of you coming back at all, or when. If it was something truly necessary (eg hospital stay) or maybe even a trip away if that was going to salvage your relationship or something, that might be a price worth paying, but (IMO) not otherwise. Mine have both got upset with me just popping to the next room at 11 months, even in their own home and even when they were with other important people in their lives.

I also wouldn’t want to be away from mine for that length of time tbh, but that’s personal and no judgment from me either way. (Mine are now 18 months and 7 years, and I’d gladly wave off the 7yo for a lovely week with grandma, but I miss the toddler even when I’m just at work for the day.)

Have a lovely time if you do go.

I would.....I've taken holidays from our children at that age.
I wouldn't however, take a 1 year old on such a long flight. They will get nothing out of the trip and would be happier with their grandparents.

No I wouldn’t I fully trust my mother but I could not leave my kids for that long. My oldest is nearly 8 and only been away the odd night. I would never go abroad as if anything happened or baby was ill and it could take hours to get to my kids. I do think parents need time off and we do go away one night every year or so together but never far away.

I wouldn't, only because of the 10 month old's potential for separation anxiety - not fair to put baby or parents through that for almost a week, purely for my own pleasure's sake.

But agree it's a very personal decision.

I have a 5 year old. Dp and I would not go on holiday without her as we simply wouldn't enjoy being away from her.

We have quite a similar situation. Dp has the opportunity to go to Canada for work later this year. Last time he went there for work, I joined him later and we had a holiday. We loved it there and would love yo go back. This work trip is during the school term, so there's no chance of going on a family holiday at the same time. It would not have occured to dp and I to go without dd.

I would and have left my children to go on holidays.

My honeymoon and a few other short breaks.

Everyone is different but I have zero hesitation in admitting that time is very important for our relationship and resets us back from being just mammy and daddy.

Like you our children are very close to grandparents and have a ball.

I'd leave a baby and have done but I wouldn't leave 2dc with grandparents for 6 nights and go to Asia. It's too far away if anything were to happen. Depends what you're comfortable with.

Go go go

It's subjective isn't it, depending on the age and personality of the children. I've just been away without my four (youngest 15 months). All fine of course. I think it might be better to do one or two nights to start, but that's just me. My mother in law was left for a year in a children's boarding house aged 2 (during the war) which is an anecdote I tell when people feel guilty about leaving their children. Obviously that’s extreme but it feels like now we have to self flagellate if we want to leave our children.

Go, it’s an opportunity and the kids will be fine.

You’ll always get some on here trotting out “my son is 22 and me and DH are just building up to a night in the pub at the end of the road, if he’s happy”

I haven't let my children for that long when they were that young. The most was a night for a weekend away or a work thing. But I was also breastfeeding most of mine until they were at least 2 and would have had to try to get milk into them some other way (tricky) and also pump (which really takes away the romance in any trip).

OTOH I have taken my babies on long haul flights including to the far east and it's been fine.

I got divorced when my youngest was 3 and from then she has had holidays with her father when I've not been there (and I've been away too). it's still difficult - she misses me desperately. I'm not a martyr, and don't mind time away, but they're only babies for such a short time. I also have no idea what the impact of separation anxiety is at that age either.

I did adopt one of mine yet I'd still go.

I wouldn't go off and leave children of any age to go on holiday. Save your money and put it towards a family holiday you can all enjoy.

As GP I wouldn't want to have them because if the 11 month old is inconsolable (Very possible) I wouldn't have a clue how to fix.
And you're not an hour away.

I'd go. It's only 6 nights, not like you're fucking off for a fortnight. And you know they will be in good hands. I'm sure you and the hubby will have a lovely time together just the two of you (it's important to put effort in to your marriage as well as being a good parent) and come back refreshed. I wouldn't make a habit of it mind, but as a one off treat why not? Go for it I say, enjoy! Wish I could too!