AIBU to tell colleague they’re a spitting image of an infamous killer

[prawnsword]

Said new colleague looks so much like Chris Watts it’s alarming... followed this case closely & while it wasn’t massive news in my country it does get press. It was well known worldwide. I feel like if someone looked like Dahmer or Bundy it would be ok to say...but considering it’s a fairly recent case & the grim circumstances of it, is it best left unsaid? It’s constantly on the tip of my tongue wanting to spill out this odd information. But he is quite reserved like the real Chris Watts so it might make him uncomfortable!

I find human behaviour fascinating - the darker side is interesting

Are we not meant to admit that

Admitting it = No problem

Pretending it's to 'honour and remember' victims = Problem

That said, from the standpoint of being interested by human behaviour - back when you were considering telling him OP, how did you think he would react? Did you think it would be a good icebreaker? Objectively, I find that more intriguing than the thought processes of some waste of oxygen who casually murdered his family for 'getting in the way'.

We have a friend who is a ringer for Fred West and his son looks exactly like the young Fred West. I think I told him when drunk one day 😂

“I find human behaviour fascinating - the darker side is interesting
Are we not meant to admit that”

This. There’s obviously a massive interest in crime given the number of tv programmes, books, etc on true crime there are. There must be a huge number of mumsnetters who do find it fascinating especially if you have an interest in human psychology. Few will admit it now given the turn this thread has taken.
What it means for the victims family is a question worth considering, however.

I'm probably missing the point but I think he is best described as a Family Annihilator rather than a serial killer.

But no I don't think you should tell your colleague either, he's an evil human and no one wants to be associated to someone like that.

It's the bit where op says it's to honour and remember them (insert made up press nickname of murdered person).

I know loads of people who watched and enjoyed making a murderer. They watched it because they find it interesting and fascinating. Not one person claimed to be watching it in order to honour and remember the victim.

It would not be remotely or in any way ok to tell someone they look like Bundy of Dahmer. It really is not acceptable to comment in this way on anyone’s appearance at all. And it is odd you find it unsettling to look at him. So yes you are being very unreasonable.

Jeez OP, how do you navigate the rest of your life?

What Mitzi and Worra said.

FFS, you have to ask if you should tell your colleague you're such a ghoul you think he looks like some cunt family annihilator in another country?

Fucking sick.

'True crime community'. Load of twisted tourists preying on other peoples' deaths. Fucking hell.

And I don’t think you are particularly weird for being fascinated by serial killers. I’m not, but lots of people are. The weird thing is struggling not to tell a colleague they look like one!

the lack of critical thinking on here is unsettling sometimes
Yet you’re the one asking if you think it’s ok to tell your (probably lovely and normal) colleague that he bares a passing resemblance (in your opinion) to a psychopath. Yes, critical thinking does seem to be missing somewhere...

I work with a woman who looks like Peter Kay

My DH had to endure years of:

"Morning, Fred"
"You got that job finished, Fred?"
"Murdered anybody lately, Fred? Ha ha ha"
Fred this and Fred that.

All because of Fred West.

My DH's crime?
Having dark curly hair.
No other similar physical attributes whatsoever.
DH taller, thinner, darker skinned, muscular, straight teeth with no gaps and had various types of facial hair over the years. His curly hair was even nothing like West's, it was medium sized soft shiny curls and not the longer frizzier hair that West had.

Was enough for the bullying twatbags where he worked though.

Started with one utter cunt who thought they were being clever/funny and spread like a nasty wildfire.

Upset us both enough that he purchased some hairclippers and shaved all his beautiful lush chesnut curls, never to grow them again. Made no difference, the cunts had christened him Fred and it stuck till he left the place.

Shallow pathetic bastards, they were.

So, OP, go ahead, start a round of bullying.

It's quite obvious why you wouldn't tell someone they look like him. It's basic social skills.
True crime community? It's hardly about remembering the victims when you didn't even know them. Just a bunch of weirdos obsessed with murder.

You definitely should, that way he'll know he should avoid you.

How is a true crime community distasteful

It's not. Netflix has numerous documentaries and series dedicated to true crime. There's now a Sky channel all about true crime because it's so popular. All these posters pretending that they had to google Chris Watts , I'm in Ireland and it was on all the main news sites here FFS.

It’s quite common to have an interest in these sorts of crimes. I hope it’s because it’s 99.9% of the population cannot fathom the mindset that leads to this. I love Dr Phil and know he often reports on stories like this. I cannot always watch them because they’re so voyeuristic, especially in ones like this when he’s not looking at evidence or another perspective because we know he murdered his family.

OP, you must know how upsetting it’d be to be told you look like a person who has committed such disgusting acts.

Yes you must tell him straightaway.

What a compliment. It'll make his day!

Seriously. Who would even think about telling someone that? I have no idea who he is btw.
My ex boss sister was the spit of Fred West but being a kind person I would never say it out loud.

@somecakefather I had to google it. Never heard of him or of the case. I don't watch the news very often if at all. He's not a serial killer and he doesn't have an unusual name to even make it stick in the mind.

Just asked 3 adults if they'd heard of him and all said no.

homeworkery

I don't watch the news very often if at all

FFS honesty this place sometimes. Well OBVIOUSLY this DOESN'T apply to you.

I have never heard of this bloke and am not googling him but I would honestly think you were a touch peculiar OP if I heard you comparing a co worker to a killer.

Ann Rule said in her experience people who read true crime or watched documentaries were among the most compassionate and kind people...they couldn't fathom such evil mindsets which led to much of the fascination, as well as an intense desire to see justice done.

I had to Google him, I watch the news, listen to Radio 4 'Today' programme and 'PM' and don't remember hearing anything about him. They might have mentioned it but it wasn't headline news. If you are UK based, will he even know who he is? Equally, I don't think he has a generic look for someone who is British, he looks like he is from the US.

Ann Rule said in her experience people who read true crime or watched documentaries were among the most compassionate and kind people...they couldn't fathom such evil mindsets which led to much of the fascination, as well as an intense desire to see justice done.

She makes a living out of these people, why would she say anything else?

Either way, presumably she owns it rather than virtuously pretending her only interest is to 'honour and remember' the victims.

I must admit had to look up who Ann Rule was.