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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to tell colleague they’re a spitting image of an infamous killer

273 replies

prawnsword · 27/10/2019 10:48

Said new colleague looks so much like Chris Watts it’s alarming... followed this case closely & while it wasn’t massive news in my country it does get press. It was well known worldwide. I feel like if someone looked like Dahmer or Bundy it would be ok to say...but considering it’s a fairly recent case & the grim circumstances of it, is it best left unsaid? It’s constantly on the tip of my tongue wanting to spill out this odd information. But he is quite reserved like the real Chris Watts so it might make him uncomfortable!

OP posts:

WalkofShame · 27/10/2019 20:21

People who watch these documentaries and read true crime magazines and books are ghoulish and get right in my nerves speaking with ‘authority’ about sensationalised stuff that they don’t know a great deal about. I used to work with a forensic psychologist who used to be in these shows, she was not well respected for good reasons.

I believe the term grief wanking was coined on MN and is very apt for some of the situations described on this thread.

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:25

I do wish people would just admit that they're ghoulish fuckers salivating over the tragedy of others...

This is so pathetically stupid! You want people to admit to something that isn't true?😖 Here you are, gleefully sticking a boot in to people you don't even know, assuming their motivation...and have the brass neck to accuse US of being ghoulish fuckers?? The irony is too much.

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:27

I’m another who’s surprised that so many posters hadn’t heard of the case at all. It was a massive news story, in the papers, online news sources, tv, radio etc for quite some time and is still referenced often.
To be unaware of it doesn’t somehow give you moral superiority.

No it doesn't. In fact, the readers of true crime are the people who saw that a man wiped out his family. They saw. They paid attention.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 27/10/2019 20:37

I am sitting here trying to imagine....
My daughter has gone missing, the police are looking for her, I am terrified in a way that noone should ever be. Then the police find her body...she has been murdered...I have to identify her body. I know for a fact that my child has died in terror suffering unimaginable fear and pain.
Then I have to endure a court case, and grief a d my family being devastated and my life never ever being the same. A future of pain and grief ahead of me.

Then I find out that people are watching t v programmes about it all and are finding it 'fascinating '.

Would you honestly be ok with that?

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:45

Earrings...do you REALLY think families are featured without permission? They TAKE PART! Ffs people have no fucking clue.

Candle1000 · 27/10/2019 20:47

Do the families of victims get a say in whether tv programmes are made about their loved ones ?

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:47

If your family doesn't want to take part, there is no programme. I honestly have no idea why people have such a problem understanding this.

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:48

Yes Candle. They have a complete veto.

adaline · 27/10/2019 20:49

People who watch these documentaries and read true crime magazines and books are ghoulish

Why? What's wrong with reading and learning about serial killers?

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2019 20:50

No it doesn't. In fact, the readers of true crime are the people who saw that a man wiped out his family. They saw. They paid attention

Of course they did. It's their entertainment. Reading true crime stories is their hobby

Why wouldn't they pay attention?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 27/10/2019 20:51

No...they don't always. There are loads of these creepy programmes that are ghouls speculating.
I just think its grief tourism and really weird.
There are so many other things to be interested in, in the world without having ither peoples gruesome deaths as a hobby.

mamandematribu · 27/10/2019 20:53

I would not mention it to him But he must also be absolutely gorgeous

MitziK · 27/10/2019 20:56

Actually, going by my friend's experience, if they say no, the response is that it'll go ahead without their input and all the juicy stuff about their family member will be included, such as their sexual history and the more shocking parts of their injuries will be featured.

Which is why I think they (and their defenders) are fucking cunts. They aren't doing this for education, they're doing it for money, shits and giggles/the chance to get film work on the basis of being nominated for awards which are largely based upon media coverage and clickthroughs to Mail Online articles (and the inevitable comments section saying the victim deserved it).

FadingStar · 27/10/2019 20:59

Worra, just because YOUR mentality is true crime = entertainment, doesn't make it true. 😉

somecakefather · 27/10/2019 21:00

There are loads of these creepy programmes that are ghouls speculating.
I just think its grief tourism and really weird.
There are so many other things to be interested in, in the world without having ither peoples gruesome deaths as a hobby

This ^ proves my earlier post perfectly.

They're just a bunch of narrow minded idiots on here. Because true crime is something they're not personally interested in, they can't comprehend that people find different things fascinating. We should all share their interests is how they think

SoyDora · 27/10/2019 21:00

FadingStar if it’s not entertainment, then what is it? What else do you gain from it?

SoyDora · 27/10/2019 21:02

We should all share their interests is how they think

No. You’re entitled to think other people’s hobbies are shit/boring/creepy/whatever. And I’m equally entitled to my opinion about yours.

ddl1 · 27/10/2019 21:02

Don't. It sounds as though it's not someone you know well, and he might well be offended or just creeped out.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2019 21:02

Worra, just because YOUR mentality is true crime = entertainment, doesn't make it true.

What is it then if not entertainment or a hobby?

Do you force yourself to watch it in a state of misery and if so, why?

Surely it's not to 'honour and remember the victims' as the OP claims?

WalkofShame · 27/10/2019 21:10

What's wrong with reading and learning about serial killers

Because there are victims here. The impact that serial killers have on people’s lives is immense and entertaining yourself by studying details of the crime, sensationalising the lives and actions of criminals is deeply unpleasant.

Victorybird · 27/10/2019 21:12

@MitziK how horrible. I'm really sorry to hear that.

Ofc people watch these kind of programmes to be entertained. Unless you think they're some kind of pathology/detective training resource.

Anyway I don't believe that there's a colleague who looks like Chris Watts - in fact I'm struggling to believe that OP can hold down a job at all. She just started this thread to ramble on about killers and especially killers' appearances. That's it.

adaline · 27/10/2019 21:13

studying details of the crime, sensationalising the lives and actions of criminals is deeply unpleasant.

No, your opinion is that it's unpleasant, which is fine, but that doesn't make it fact.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 27/10/2019 21:14

Ted Bundy was known for being handsome and charming. Chris Watts is just a dude. I don't think anyone would appreciate being told they look like him

somecakefather · 27/10/2019 21:14

You best get onto Sky and Netflix then because there's thousands of true crime series and documentaries and films dedicated to true crime. Sky have recently launched a new channel dedicated to true crime.

Thankssomuch · 27/10/2019 21:16

No, not unreasonable, just a bit unpleasant.

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