To be ungrateful to receive a gift that's going to cost me money?

[wintertime6]

I just don't understand why people think it's a nice thing to do? Me and DH were given a £30 voucher for a really fancy restaurant as a gift. Yes, I know that it would be lovely to go out for a nice meal, but it's a set menu in the evenings at £70 each, not including drinks. So in reality it's going to cost us well over £100 and we're just going to end up going for the sake of using the voucher, and will have to organise and pay for a babysitter on top!

I know I'm not going to enjoy it that much, knowing how much it's costing us, but I'd feel bad letting it go to waste and the person who bought us the voucher is definitely going to ask how we enjoyed the meal and I just can't lie!

I'd much rather have received a £30 voucher for a local pizza restaurant and we could have gone out some night as a family for a chilled out meal, I wouldn't have had to think about what to cook for anyone that night, and it would have been pretty much free!

I hate being ungrateful for gifts, but I just can't bring myself to feel grateful in anyway for receiving such an annoying present!!

I’ve been in this situation. There was an expiry date and we gave it back to the giver because we couldn’t make any of the very restricted date options. Someone needs to ban this relative of mine from sites like Groupon!

Can you give it to someone as a Christmas present?

And just pass the problem on to someone else? That's not much of a xmas present, is it? I wouldn't be happy to be given a money off voucher as a present.

Give them the voucher back and thank them for the thought, but say that they have to find someone to give it to who can afford the differential even after the money off. You just can't.

Apologise and smile.

I'd say I went, tell them it was AMAZING, and "buy" them a £30 voucher back...citing how much I needed them to see how great it was too!

I would use as a lunch voucher, for drinks or you could sell the voucher

OP put the voucher in an envelope, and put a note in saying "we are very grateful that you gave us this, but having looked at the menu and prices, we will really struggle to afford a meal there. Adding in the challenge of finding a babysitter, it's just not achievable even though we'd have loved to go. Rather than letting it go to waste, we're returning it so you can use yourself or give as a Christmas gift to someone, much love x". Then post it so there is no discussion over it....... and wait until Christmas to see what other mug ends up with it.

Must be the Randolph hotel in oxford. Cost and arm and a leg. I'd just go for a couple of drinks.

Send them it back with an explanation as to why it will go unused. They will think twice about thoughtless gifts.

Its not that thoughtless. Some people would be happy to have it.

I wouldn't go. Some friends are always asking me to go to fancy celebrity restaurants and I always decline. Would hate to go somewhere where I have to be watching prices. It's a terrible present a voucher that doesn't pay even for a single meal.

Think I'm just going to have to embrace it, see if I can organise someone to look after the kids and book DH and I in for lunch. Just seems so much hassle!

Why? Are you such a martyr you will spend time and money you don’t have just to avoid potentially upsetting a random relative who clearly doesn’t know you at all?

Give it as a gift?

I have had a lot of these over the years and often wonder if the voucher/ experience is just being passed on.

If it's somewhere I wanted to go I would ask for more vouchers /money from people who ask us what we want for Xmas (like my dad and my brother always ask) so that we had enough to actually pay for a meal.

I have abut lost patience for this kind of thing, although I do like the idea of inviting the giver to lunch with me - they can pay for all of theirs and the OP can use the voucher for most but not all of theirs within sight of the gift giver who will hopefully realise what a crappy gift it is.

This is a fantastic idea.
PIL often get us a voucher for £30 for a local gastro pub but it's a place we go nearly every week and £30 pays for two to have their set two course menu.
£30 for somewhere the set menu is £80 is thoughtless.

If it's been passed on multiple times, if anyone does end up trying to use it they'll probably find that it expired in 2017 and the restaurant has changed hands twice since it was issued.

You are 100% YANBU!!!
why would someone give you a voucher fora fraction of the cost the meal will cost you knowing you have two young children? That is outrageous
The best thing to do is sell it for £20 on local for sale site Facebook etc. Then have a pizza night with the kids x

Could you donate it to a local charity to use as a prize on their Christmas raffle or something?

Go for tea or lunch. Not entirely sure why you are moaning.

Give it to a homeless person
Donate it as a raffle prize
Give it to someone else to use
Give it to your mother so she can lunch ...

You or DH go, while the other one stays home with the kids. Take the giver with you and use all the £30 on your own meal.

Give as a raffle present at school Christmas Fair.

Sell off at a reduced rate on local FB site and spend that money on Dominoes or whatever.

You could sell the voucher on through www.cardyard.co.uk/

I think it's incredibly sad seeing all these people proclaim that the present is "rubbish" in fact it's extremely rude. I have gifted a present like this to my grandparents, I know they enjoy the finer things, that includes dining and it was within my means to contribute to that experience for them, if they were slagging the gift I'd taken the time to think of and purchase for them online to strangers I would hope they would make it abundantly apparent to me just how they felt so I'd never bother to buy them anything again. Like someone said, return it but WITH APPRECIATION for the fact someone thought of you and say you just can't afford it.

You can get it changed, you know. Groupon and others like it, don't pay the restaurant until you've eaten there. They've got lots of other places on their books.

I think it's incredibly sad that someone would give someone a voucher for an amount that won't even cover one of their meals, let alone two. The point of a gift is that it is something to be enjoyed, not leave them in financial hardship. Having to pay out well over £100 to top up a measly voucher is thoughtless and shows that the giver didn't read the menu to know what £30 would actually buy.............