To be ungrateful to receive a gift that's going to cost me money?

[wintertime6]

I just don't understand why people think it's a nice thing to do? Me and DH were given a £30 voucher for a really fancy restaurant as a gift. Yes, I know that it would be lovely to go out for a nice meal, but it's a set menu in the evenings at £70 each, not including drinks. So in reality it's going to cost us well over £100 and we're just going to end up going for the sake of using the voucher, and will have to organise and pay for a babysitter on top!

I know I'm not going to enjoy it that much, knowing how much it's costing us, but I'd feel bad letting it go to waste and the person who bought us the voucher is definitely going to ask how we enjoyed the meal and I just can't lie!

I'd much rather have received a £30 voucher for a local pizza restaurant and we could have gone out some night as a family for a chilled out meal, I wouldn't have had to think about what to cook for anyone that night, and it would have been pretty much free!

I hate being ungrateful for gifts, but I just can't bring myself to feel grateful in anyway for receiving such an annoying present!!

Don't go!

Cant you go for lunch

Could you just use it on a few drinks there and have a meal somewhere else?

Is it open on a lunch time so you could go as a family?

Does it have a bar area, just go for a couple of glasses of champagne then on to somewhere cheaper? I agree, rubbish present!

Yeah, I get what you are saying. If I was buying someone a restaurant voucher, I would give an amount that would cover the full meal. So it would be more of a pizza type place unless it was a close relative/friend for a special birthday in which case I'd take them to a posh restaurant and pay the bill.

I hate this too. My sister is well known for such things. A photo experience where the photos cost xxx, tickets an expensive trainride and hotel away etc.
I would see if someone on facebook wants them for £20 and use the money towards a meal you can afford.

If it’s going to cost you more than the value of the voucher to use it, I wouldn’t go and I’d give it back to them and apologetically say you can’t afford it. What a stupid present. Maybe check first though, does the place have a bar area you could just have a drink in?

You’re not being ungrateful (in my opinion). I’ve had this before , for a wine night out and I don’t drink ! Like at all ! And I felt bad for not being appreciative but DH said not to feel bad about thinking I’m ungrateful because it is quite an odd gift to give someone, not an everyday gift is it , especially when you need to find child care . So don’t feel bad . It’s hard as you can’t really lie about it . I mean you could but I’d feel bad about lying . I just gave my voucher to my brother and his girlfriend 😂

That is rubbish, and I entirely agree with your logic. The suggestion to go for drinks is a good one.

What are you going to spend £30 on? You could just have a bottle of house wine with your meal.

Go! I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

I would just go for lunch (if they open,) by myself

I think I wouldn't go, and when asked say I couldn't afford to pay the extra so haven't been yet. Might sell the voucher for 25 quid or something and go somewhere much cheaper. Yanbu!

If I really liked the restaurant and was planning on going anyway I think I wouldn’t mind. But I can definitely see why this is a useless gift otherwise

Totally agree with you. Just don't go and if giver asks why say it's still too expensive for you to go there even with their generous voucher.
We recently had an very unsatisfactory visit somewhere and to make up for it they gave us 20% off a future visit. Um, no thanks.

What are you going to spend £30 on? You could just have a bottle of house wine with your meal.

Presumably a babysitter? It costs me at least at £30 to even leave my house for a night out.

Gift it to someone else

Ugh. The only way this is a good gift is if it was restaurant you go to a lot anyway. £30 voucher for a meal costing many times that at somewhere you wouldn't normally go isn't really a great gift at all. I only ever get a meal voucher if it's going to cover the whole meal reasonably and not leave the recipient out of pocket! As you say, £30 at Pizza Express would have been preferable!

Yanbu.

Yes I guess we could go for lunch, it's definitely not a place you could take 2 toddlers to though, and I'm not sure who I would get to look after them as they can be quite a handful at this age! I don't mind asking family to babysit the odd evening as they're usually not a problem once into bed, but I feel bad asking someone to keep them both in the daytime and i don't imagine lunch will feel overly relaxing as we'll feel we have to get back to the kids, but I think that may be the best option!

I would give it back. Tell them you won’t use it as it’s too expensive and you don’t want it to go to waste.
Unless you previously told them it was your favourite place, I think it’s a regift.

No, the best option is giving it back!

If the giver asks if you have been I think you should be honest and say "no sorry, we can't afford to go to that restaurant". And if they say oh but we gave you a voucher you can state that the meals are £70 each and you really can't afford to pay that. Keep it factual and polite.

Please don't put yourself into financial difficulties to save someone else's feelings.

Please tell us who this ridiculous person is who gave the voucher to you!

I hate this too. Years ago I got given Tom Jones tickets as a birthday present (£30 each), but the gig was in Glasgow where my friend lived, not London where I lived. We had to buy flights, pay for a hotel, and buy meals. It ended up costing us about £400.

Pass it on to a friend or parent. What a rubbish gift. I agree it sounds like a regift or a freebie even.

I don't think the voucher will be able to be redeemed against alcohol.
The vouchers at our local restaurant are only able to be used on food bill.