To be ungrateful to receive a gift that's going to cost me money?

[wintertime6]

I just don't understand why people think it's a nice thing to do? Me and DH were given a £30 voucher for a really fancy restaurant as a gift. Yes, I know that it would be lovely to go out for a nice meal, but it's a set menu in the evenings at £70 each, not including drinks. So in reality it's going to cost us well over £100 and we're just going to end up going for the sake of using the voucher, and will have to organise and pay for a babysitter on top!

I know I'm not going to enjoy it that much, knowing how much it's costing us, but I'd feel bad letting it go to waste and the person who bought us the voucher is definitely going to ask how we enjoyed the meal and I just can't lie!

I'd much rather have received a £30 voucher for a local pizza restaurant and we could have gone out some night as a family for a chilled out meal, I wouldn't have had to think about what to cook for anyone that night, and it would have been pretty much free!

I hate being ungrateful for gifts, but I just can't bring myself to feel grateful in anyway for receiving such an annoying present!!

Give it to a homeless person

Seriously? How is a homeless person supposed to be able to afford the other £35 (not including drink and service charge) in order to have a dinner there?

They couldn't even use it for lunch.

Oh, and they probably wouldn't even be allowed in to the restaurant.

Give it to your mother so she can lunch ..

If the OP took her mother (or a friend) to the restaurant, and they each had lunch that wouldn't come to more than £50 so they could use the £30 voucher and add £20 (or whatever the balance is) and small tip. That wouldnt break the budget, and the OPs husband could look after the kids so there wouldn't be childcare issues.

Better than the voucher going to waste.

Presumably Jaynee your grandparents:

a) Had made it clear they were interested in dining at this restaurant.

b) Coud easily afford to dine there anyway, so your gift was a small discount from something they'd already have been paying.

Otherwise, if 'committing' them to something they didn't really want, or couldn't afford, it really wasn't a very thoughtful gift, as the thread demonstrates.

No I stand by it. It's rude to contribute to a dinner when you're not even paying for one meal, let alone a second one, drinks, baby sitter etc.

If you have an arrangement to pay some and have the recipient pay the lion's share then fine but that would take a very specific conversation and that obviously hasn't happened here

Can you just go for desert?
Are there really restaurants that ban young children?

Ask the giver to babysit for you??

I personally wouldn’t go unless it was somewhere you’d like to visit anyhow

There probably are, but there are plenty more which would be far from ideal places to take a very young child for a formal meal.

Jaynee, I assume you know your grandparents can pay the full cost of the meal minus your voucher? They also probably don't need to find and pay a babysitter before they can go out. The point here is that the OP can only use the voucher in the way intended if she and her husband cough up four or five times the face value - balance of the meal cost, babysitter, petrol - and that's before we factor in the hassle of having to organise all of this. It's not a thoughtful present for parents with young children unless you know they're geared up for and keen on having regular nights out.

Just go for drinks is the best option I think, or as suggested, offer them back with a "thank you, but are you able to make use of these as the restaurant is a bit out of budget for us"... if you don't say anything, you risk getting them again if they think you went and enjoyed it

My dad was going to buy my kids gold cards for the zoo as their birthday present... thankfully he asked first and was quite shocked when I said no thanks (other grandparents had gold cards for themselves and the kids anyway) as it'd cost me at least £15 per visit to take them, so they wouldn't get used that much... chuck in a gold card for me, then yes, fab present!

This voucher is effectively 10% off dinner, maybe 25% off lunch.

The same principle applies as with any sale or discount: If you didn't really, really want the thing in the first place and won't love it / get lots of use out of it, it is not a bargain. It is throwing money away.

Wrong, my grandparents did not indicate any preference towards the restaurant I just made an informed decision based on experiences they had told us about, I made an assumption that they could afford it based on the fact they save to have these experiences and they were grateful for the discount in that experience I provided for them. I am not denying that this scenario isn't ideal but there isn't even an ounce of appreciation with the original poster just the attitude that it's rubbish and inconvenient which is wrong when someone has taken the time to think over and purchase a gift for you no matter how well thought out it was or wasn't. They got it wrong but don't bloody slate them for it jeez!

which is wrong when someone has taken the time to think over and purchase a gift for you no matter how well thought out it was or wasn't.

You don't know that that's the case here. It could just as easily be something someone gave to them, and they decided they couldn't afford it/didn't want it, so gave it to OP's DH. They could have been offloading it, as PPs are suggesting OP does, in regifting it to someone else.

A present should be something that can be used in its own right - so a voucher is fine if it can cover something in its entirety (the cost of a full meal for two, or a store voucher that would enable you to buy a whole small item or put towards a bigger item). Unless you have specifically said you often go to the restaurant, it's like giving someone a £50 voucher for DFS. Great if you said you'd chosen a sofa there, bit crap if you haven't!

I hate the photo shoot vouchers that get given as raffle prizes - OK, you know that you can just go for the free shoot and take away a 6x4 print, but you are also going to get the hard sell. It's like giving someone a voucher for a free lunch but they have to have a hard sell timeshare presentation!

Can the voucher be changed for something more suitable? I was given a 2 nights accommodation voucher - the hotels were miles away, breakfast wasn't even included and kids weren't allowed! I changed it for National Trust membership and we have had lots of lovely days out.

Ring up the restaurant and explain your predicament. They might have some ideas (eg wait for weekday lunch in January, have a bottle of wine or to take away dessert)

Im childless and if I gave a restaurant type gift to a couple with toddlers it would be along with the assumption that I'd be babysitting!

I'd ring the gift giver and ask when they're free to look after the bairns. If the answer isn't a list of dates I'd be returning the gift saying it's too expensive.

there isn't even an ounce of appreciation with the original poster just the attitude that it's rubbish and inconvenient which is wrong when someone has taken the time to think over and purchase a gift for you no matter how well thought out it was or wasn't.

But it IS rubbish and inconvenient! If you’ve given someone a costly problem wrapped up with a bow, it’s a bit much to expect them to appreciate your efforts!

Haven't read the full thread - but why don't you ask others for vouchers to the same place for Christmas and then go in the new year and have a blast?!! xx