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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and Dinner - AIBU

682 replies

Redlioness123 · 23/10/2019 19:15

I'm just really interested to know whether I am BU or not, as my husband thinks I'm being controlling

I have made a lasagne today. It's not something we have often so I spent a bit of time on it making it from scratch etc. I also cut a nice salad to go along with it and I was planning to make some seasoned wedges before serving around 7.15pm (the time we eat most days).

DH arrived home from work around 6.30. Claimed he was starving, I told him what was for dinner and to have a banana or something (Lasagne is already made and is staying warm at the bottom of the oven)

I went out the kitchen to do something and returned after 5 mins to see that he has helped himself to a ginormous serving of the lasagne and begins complimenting me about delicious it is. I got visibly annoyed and asked why he couldn't have something else or at the very least, a tiny portion rather than a dinner-sized portion. His response was that he is only going to have a small spoon of it when we sit down for dinner and have a plate made up mainly of salad and wedges instead Hmm

I've left him to it but it's pissed me off so much - he does this all the time and I think it's so disrespectful to someone who's been slaving away in a kitchen to just dip into a hot dinner they've made like it's a snack. Is it weird that I would want to eat it and enjoy it together?? Maybe I'm just being silly - it would be great to get opinions!

Also I'm not sure if it's relevant but I work full time too and usually try to get home much earlier than DH to make a start on his snack dinner

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 23/10/2019 19:17

YANBU, shocking behaviour by your DH.

violetbunny · 23/10/2019 19:18

So rude!

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 23/10/2019 19:18

YANBU

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/10/2019 19:19

Yeah that's dickish behaviour.

I'd just cook for myself from now on tbh.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 23/10/2019 19:20

And it's not 'controlling' to ask someone not to act like a dick if they're acting like a dick.

CormacMcLaggen · 23/10/2019 19:20

I'd be livid. I really can't articulate exactly why. Livid.

MakeItRain · 23/10/2019 19:20

Was there a reason you were waiting until 7.15? I would have just served it up straight away if my partner had come home and announced he was starving. Were you waiting for someone else to join you? If so YANBU, but if it's only you two eating and he's arrived home starving then I don't really understand why you'd want him to "eat a banana" and wait.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/10/2019 19:20

Well I have to laugh, it’s not huge, but yanbu.

Don’t ltb though.

Jarline · 23/10/2019 19:21

So disrespectful. And GREEDY. He could have waited, I'm pretty sure that even with my limited knowledge of the situation, that he wouldn't have died......

My husband does similar. Rips into food like hes never been fed. Drives me scatty. My parents in law do it too, the packet of biscuits is barely open before they have one in their mouth.

AwdBovril · 23/10/2019 19:21

That's extremely rude. Is he as inconsiderate in other aspects of life - would he do something similar to colleagues, for example?

sunshine5997 · 23/10/2019 19:21

I would be so annoyed!!

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/10/2019 19:22

I wouldn't be bothered. If I was bothered dinner wouldn't be ready to eat when my husband came home.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/10/2019 19:22

Your husband is shockingly rude and shows he has zero consideration for you. It's as though he thinks you're the fucking skivvy. I'd be furious.

emilybrontescorsett · 23/10/2019 19:22

Yes why were you waiting until 7:15 to eat?
But yes he was being unreasonable.

onanothertrain · 23/10/2019 19:23

FFS. He, was starving, why couldn't you have had dinner earlier rather than make him wait? I agree with your husband. It is controlling, he's not a child.

TitianaTitsling · 23/10/2019 19:23

Would the lasagne not be all dried out after another 45 mins in the oven?

Original poster
Redlioness123 · 23/10/2019 19:23

Thank you, I don't feel quite so irrational now!

Yes we eat at that time as we have a 13month old and I put him to bed between 6.30 and 7.00. I feed him separately a bit earlier (usually not what we are having)

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 23/10/2019 19:23

Next few dinners make a lovely dinner and ensure you eat most of it and he’s hes left with leftovers.

Daffodil2018 · 23/10/2019 19:23

How rude! I also can't quite articulate why it's so rude, but it is! It's greedy and selfish. He is an adult, he should be able to control himself until you're ready to serve up.

Drogosnextwife · 23/10/2019 19:23

But he was starving and you wanted him to wait 45 mins even although it was ready. I honestly can't see the problem if he was still going to sit down with you and eat anyway. Yup I agree with him that's a bit controlling.

Athe · 23/10/2019 19:23

YANBU - he’s rude, particularly if it’s a regular occurrence. But also slightly U; if he does this frequently, why would you intentionally get home early to make food and facilitate this for him?

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 23/10/2019 19:23

Have you considered sharing the cooking? You both work full time, so no reason it should always be you, plus having to think about and prepare a meal regularly might make him a bit more respectful of the effort that goes into it.

57Varieties · 23/10/2019 19:24

YANBU, what a greedy pig.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 23/10/2019 19:25

7:15 is weirdly precise time to eat? Why not eat when hungry? He was rude to not wait and eat with you, it’s a bit stepford wife to rush home to cook his dinner I hope he cooks for you?

7salmonswimming · 23/10/2019 19:25

Well, yes and no. It's disrespectful of your efforts to make a nice family meal to be eaten together.......but it's a lasagna. You can't go about getting het up about a lasagna.

I suggest making him sit at the table with you eating enough salad and wedges, slowly, to keep you company while you leisurely eat your proper dinner. Make him suffer while you're reveling Grin

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