DH and Dinner - AIBU

[Redlioness123]

I'm just really interested to know whether I am BU or not, as my husband thinks I'm being controlling

I have made a lasagne today. It's not something we have often so I spent a bit of time on it making it from scratch etc. I also cut a nice salad to go along with it and I was planning to make some seasoned wedges before serving around 7.15pm (the time we eat most days).

DH arrived home from work around 6.30. Claimed he was starving, I told him what was for dinner and to have a banana or something (Lasagne is already made and is staying warm at the bottom of the oven)

I went out the kitchen to do something and returned after 5 mins to see that he has helped himself to a ginormous serving of the lasagne and begins complimenting me about delicious it is. I got visibly annoyed and asked why he couldn't have something else or at the very least, a tiny portion rather than a dinner-sized portion. His response was that he is only going to have a small spoon of it when we sit down for dinner and have a plate made up mainly of salad and wedges instead

I've left him to it but it's pissed me off so much - he does this all the time and I think it's so disrespectful to someone who's been slaving away in a kitchen to just dip into a hot dinner they've made like it's a snack. Is it weird that I would want to eat it and enjoy it together?? Maybe I'm just being silly - it would be great to get opinions!

Also I'm not sure if it's relevant but I work full time too and usually try to get home much earlier than DH to make a start on his snack dinner

Your table manners must be excruciating, if he can't wait for you. And include your child every time. Why does the bloke get special treatment? Because you allow it. Try not having dinner ready.

Honestly, I wouldn't be bothered if my husband did this. He often 'samples' the food, you know, just to make sure it's safe ;) He's out for 14-15 hours a day so comes in starving. I love seeing him enjoy food I've made so I'd lap up the compliments then call him a greedy pig and just carry on with the rest of dinner.

YANBU but be happy he cannot resist your cooking... :)

YANBU, but if you want to go a bit retro housewife you could A) Pack him snacks to take to work ah he’s not ravenous when he comes in and B) lay out snacks (crudités or whatever) and drinks for when he gets in and ban him from the kitchen until the food is served. Hunger produces rudeness in ordinarily reasonable ppl lol

I can totally empathize with you. You've been to work, rushed home and picked up the baby on the way, baked a delicious lasagne with your husband in mind and are planning to bathe and bed the baby before relaxing with a good meal and good company. He's being utterly selfish and taking only himself into consideration. How can you enjoy your meal while he sits there with salad! You're exhausted and have had enough today, of course you're not happy with his behaviour.

Meanwhile, the H is probably at least 22 stone by now.

and on his third fish finger snack of the evening.

I totally understand where your coming from. My husband does this and I find it really disrespectful. No he isn’t a child so he CAN wait for his dinner. If you didn’t make something he would have to wait anyway. Maybe it’s the way I was brought up, we all waited and ate dinner together either at the table or in front of the tv. Either way we had conversation and togetherness and appreciated what my mum/dad had made us that day. Not ran in the door and gobbled it up like farm animals. My husband wasn’t brought up in the same culture so I try to be understanding. However I asked him while he lives with me can he please adapt to the way I like to eat as those are the family moments I personally cherish.