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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go and pick up daughter

318 replies

Twix42 · 22/10/2019 17:39

DD age 13 is at a friend's house. Has been with her all day. She just messaged me to ask if I could come and pick her up. Friend lives roughly 1 mile away, if that. It's not raining or dark outside and it's a safe route home. I told her to walk back home herself she'salazyarse
Needless to say her friend's parent will probably bring her home anyway as they are a soft touch and will feel sorry for her.
It's really not that far away, but aibu to not go and collect her?
Btw I am not expecting said friend's parent to bring her home, they just do it....

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 22/10/2019 17:42

If you know the parents will bring her home then you should go and get her, it isn't fair on them.

13 year olds don't always do what they should.

Raphael34 · 22/10/2019 17:44

Depends on if you’re busy or not.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 22/10/2019 17:44

Are you busy?

Original poster
Twix42 · 22/10/2019 17:47

Im not particularly busy just now, just making tea.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 22/10/2019 17:47

I pretty much always pick my 2 DS up when they ask - but they ask nicely and would accept "sorry, I'm busy" without complaining. I like spending time with my DSs so why wouldn't I pick them up? Surely most parents are the same.

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 22/10/2019 17:47

If I wasn't busy, I'd go and collect my DD at that age, but them I'm a soft touch. As long as she asked politely I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Herocomplex · 22/10/2019 17:47

Make it clear next time you expect her to walk home in these circumstances, and that you’ll be cross if she accepts a lift.

Apart from anything it’s really crap environmentally.

seaweedandmarchingbands · 22/10/2019 17:47

I’d probably just go if I wasn’t busy. It’s ten minutes. Unless she needed the exercise!

TheFaerieQueene · 22/10/2019 17:48

She should walk if it is a reasonable route. The environmental cost of short car journeys is too high.

BarbedBloom · 22/10/2019 17:49

I'd go

RandomMess · 22/10/2019 17:50

It's only a mile!!!!

Unnecessary pollution and all that...

FlamingGalar · 22/10/2019 17:55

Of course YANBU!

You're not duty bound to pick up your kids just because you're not busy and they can't be arsed to walk. In the same token its not unreasonable of your DD to ask!

Don't feel bad if the other parents are too soft to say no. That's their boundary to put in place not yours! I've messaged parents asking them not to give my dds a lift home because I've already said no and they are more than capable of walking. Better for them and better for the environment.

If it's dark then that's a different story.

Beveren · 22/10/2019 18:09

Tell her you're not picking her up, and that if she cadges or accepts a lift of her friend's mother she's in deep, deep trouble.

TeenPlusTwenties · 22/10/2019 18:11

Go and pick her up on foot?

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/10/2019 18:11

Walk over and pick her up.

Waterandlemonjuice · 22/10/2019 18:13

I’d collect her

ArcticHair · 22/10/2019 18:15

No, don't drive a 2 mile round trip for no good reason.

Grannybags · 22/10/2019 18:16

I don’t drive so DS (11) usually walks on his own. If it’s raining then friends mum might bring him home. If it’s dark then I start walking and meet him halfway.

Bluntness100 · 22/10/2019 18:16

I'd collect her too. Sometimes walking a mile is a ballache and I'd certainly not put the other parents out.

Bluntness100 · 22/10/2019 18:17

Tell her you're not picking her up, and that if she cadges or accepts a lift of her friend's mother she's in deep, deep trouble

Someone piss on your cornflakes this morning? Shock

MigGril · 22/10/2019 18:18

I'd expect my daughter to walk in that case. She'd have probably taken her bike anyway. I don't do running around unless needed, I agree people need to walk more drive less.

CarolDanvers · 22/10/2019 18:18

I would.

Beveren · 22/10/2019 18:19

No, it seems a sensible solution to the danger of OP's daughter dragging her friend's mother out, @Bluntness100.

ShowYourselfLucifer · 22/10/2019 18:19

@Beveren Deep, deep trouble?

What?
Would she be in 'deep, deep trouble' if the parents offered to give her a lift?
What an odd sentiment.

Bluntness100 · 22/10/2019 18:20

Why be so mean, beveran, if the op doesn't wish to collect her then it's up to the girl to either walk or accept an offer of a lift. No need for deep deep trouble. That's shit.