Rude parents, entitled kids

[LuckyAmy1986]

Just back from a day out at a local attraction where kids can trick or treat at various doors round the place. Our kids were waiting patiently and two little kids came and pushed in front of them. Parents said nothing. And many, many kids didn’t say thank you when given sweets, the parents didn’t encourage them to when they didn't either.
My elderly grandparents came to see me recently. We stepped off the path into the road for a lady with a double buggy, no thank you, nothing. This happens frequently. I put them on the (very busy) bus home. It was full of teenagers coming home from school. Not one of them offered either of my GPS a seat. I’m so sick of this kind of shit and might lose my rag at someone soon!
If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world.

AIBU?

@Chattybum The trend for a lack of "please" in the UK may be because of US media influence. You don't see the characters saying "please" much on US TV shows etc, because it's used differently there and is often seen as rude, patronising or bossy.

This episode of the allusionist podcast explains it well: www.theallusionist.org/transcripts/please

I was very insistant on nice manners with my two children. My DS took a lot of reminding to say, 'thanks you' s but is very polite and considerate now and my DD was always well mannered. She gives up her seat on the Tube to others who need it and, once, she took an ill person all the way to the edge of London to get her on her train home.

Manners are morals in practice. They enforce a consideration of the other person's feelings and needs. People who have no manners are selfish and, indeed, 'entitled'.

I always find it rude when I’m waiting for a bus (only one there) then others come along, bus finally gets there & I’m the bloody last one on because people just barge in front (mainly elderly) but I’m too polite to say anything, I also hold doors open for people, say please & thank you to people as well, at my DS school there are steps & not one person asks if I need help with the buggy, they just stand there rolling their eyes or huffing & puffing!

As a slightly older person, I can say its not just youngsters, its right across the board. People are just bloody RUDE!! if I step aside on a pavement open a door or anything if I get no response ive started saying to them very very loudly.... "THANKYOU very kind of you to hold the door for me" ect. it sometimes shocks them into realising. Not all but some people are just in their own head and dont even notice/register that youve opened door/stepped aside. My personal bug bear while were on the subject is bloody people on the roads, its like im here in this high up car so I dont have to use my indicators to tell you im pulling out right in front of you!! ffs the battery,s wont wear out, use them! it drives me bonkers, I use a duel carriageway to get to work and its 8-10 times every trip. its road manners!! Rant over!!

Manners maketh man (and woman).
They will get their comeuppance when they enter the workplace. Nobody wants to employ or deal with people who don’t show consideration for their colleagues or customers. Manners make life smoother and easier for all concerned.

@Teacher22 Manners are morals in practice

I like that, it's pithy. I also like how it implies that, just like morals, manners are relative and not universal.

People are definitely getting ruder and, yes, more 'entitled'. And, in my experience, they tend to go together.

I am glad to say though. that good manners are still quite common in people of all ages. We tend to only notice the bad, unfortunately.

People are rude, kids seem massively entitled, looking at mumsnet there are so many CFs - I despair for the human race

@bossyrossy I think you’re wrong - my workplace has amassed a huge amount of selfish, entitled whiny employees. Those that get away with barely doing their job whilst us mugs work our asses off. Sometimes I wonder how on earth they were employed then I look at the ‘new-age’ manager doing the interviews and it all makes sense

Yanbu. They’ve been dragged up by parents with no manners. Horrible. No pleases. No thank You’s. No basic manners and kindness . I’m glad I’m old.

do you make people with prams step into the road? It's more dangerous for them than someone elderly no but if they are walking side by side so they can chat I expect them to go single file to let people past.

There are so many rude adults so why do we expect better of children quite

But I suspect it was ever thus. People may be more impatient now because of the pace of life and being overpopulated, it's frustrating when you can't do anything quickly. But people aren't ruder per se. Although - we no longer have a culture of doffing our caps to "perceived" authority, which is a good thing, but that then creates a culture where social norms can be seen as bourgeois. I see it a bit with ds. He can be very charming and knows when to mind his p's and q's. But we often have arguments about swearing because he thinks I am too fussy about bad language (many MNers would agree with him, sadly).

YANBU Just so fed up with all this entitlement from children and adults especially parents. Will someone please start a political party for the Entitlement Fed-ups.

When I complained about rude old people my mother always used to say, "A rude young person becomes a rude old person" which is quite true. It starts early and then continues through life. A toddler pushing and shoving we excuse, but if no one says anything then one day they're that pensioner barging onto the bus or swanning to the front of the long line in the post office.

@BlaueLagune, I disagree slightly. I think there’s an undercurrent of aggression with many people. You can be challenged today and knived, about NOTHING.

This is minor but it really annoyed me!

Press the button for the lift in our local shopping centre. Have my DS with me in his buggy. An older (presume grandmother) lady came with a child in a buggy a few minutes later (lifts ridiculously slow) and stands beside me. Lift comes, only room for one of us as other people in it - she walks straight on without even looking at me. What happened to queuing?!

There is definitely an air of aggression. I travel into central London on a commuter train. There are some rude blighters on there. And you can get sucked into behaving the same. A few times I have joined in the push and shove but now I would rather stand if it meant I retained some civility.

But sometimes people are lovely too.

God I just challenge it. Kids pushing in " I know you are excited but we are taking turns/queuing here. "

Delivered a bit like Joyce Grenfell

There’s a lot of rude arrogant people and they raise arrogant kids but there also good people.

I picked dd up from school yesterday for a hospital appointment, had to collect her from the office, I made my way through several doors, at each door a student held the door open for me, they were on their way to lessons but even though they were in a rush they stopped to hold the door and allow me through. Sadly not all kids are like that out of school .

YADNBU OP.

OP I feel your stress and agree with you. I’ve tried to bring my children up to be polite and considerate which they all are when it comes to giving up their seat on public transport or helping someone in need. I believe that it’s the right way to be and I don’t want to give up or become cynical because of the selfish behaviour of others, but sometimes it’s hard to deal with. It’s tough for our children to see other ‘pushier’ kids getting more sweets by grabbing handfuls greedily, or getting to the front of the queue by pushing in, but I think we just have to reinforce the idea that it’s right to be polite and considerate. In the end I feel people have happier more fulfilling lives if they consider others; selfish people may win in the short term but I like to think not at any meaningful level.

I was shocked once when I visited a theme park with a friend and her children. I made mine queue for all the rides and she thought I was ridiculous. She laughed and said ‘I just tell mine to push the front!’ Her kids had more rides than mine but I talked it through with my children later and they understood.

One of the rudest people i work for is quite elderly. Often when he sends work he writes NOW! for stuff that he wants immediately which i find quite rude. He is never grateful when we do stuff quickly and never says thank you. Apparently he has always been like this, but seems to be pretty successful. He often makes mistakes because hes written down the wrong info and then wants us to do again for minimal cost. We ignore that request If i call him out on it and am almost rude back, actual he tends to be a lot more polite!!

In my area it seems that the older generation is less polite. I've found that more kids thank me.
I've been known to tell someone that there was a queue and they've shuffled, head down to the end. That was an older person.
Although, I do tend to stick my head out of my kitchen window, when a group of kids is hanging around, screaming and shouting and listening to loud music. I did this the other day. I asked them to move on ,please, because I didn't want to listen to their music and it was late evening. They chose to wander off whilst slinging the bird at me. I watched them out of my window and when they came back again opened it. One of them asked his mate why I was watching them, and I said because I can.
2 days later my kitchen window was egged. If they had continued then I would have put cctv up.
Aside from making me jump, I found the whole thing amusing.
There is a large percentage of scooter users here as well, it's like playing dodgems and not one single thank you when you move.
In the supermarket I have been known to say " excuse me lady with a trolley coming through" to aisle blockers and thank them afterwards.
I've always instilled politeness in my kids, it doesn't hurt to say it.

Mrs BadCrumble - I wonder how long your organisation will last? Who ever appointed your manager has no understanding of what makes a successful enterprise. The ethos of a workplace comes from the top and good manners all round equals a happy and successful business.

My mum was very strict about manners, saying please and thank you, and so on. I always try to be polite and I give my seat up to pregnant women, old people or disabled people - I'm disabled myself but people with wheelchairs or sticks need the priority seats more than me.

Kids can be nasty rude little brats, but some of the rudest people I've encountered have been OAPs. Or adults in general. Like when I held the door open for a woman in Tesco the other day and she just ignored me. Kids will only be polite if they're taught to be. If they see their parents being rude, they'll think it's OK.

I am youth activity leader and we camped with 50 kids at the weekend. No manners = no food, we simply stand and wait for them to figure it out.

Running to push in gets them send back to the end of the line.

Absolutely hate bad manners.