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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude parents, entitled kids

213 replies

LuckyAmy1986 · 22/10/2019 16:24

Just back from a day out at a local attraction where kids can trick or treat at various doors round the place. Our kids were waiting patiently and two little kids came and pushed in front of them. Parents said nothing. And many, many kids didn’t say thank you when given sweets, the parents didn’t encourage them to when they didn't either.
My elderly grandparents came to see me recently. We stepped off the path into the road for a lady with a double buggy, no thank you, nothing. This happens frequently. I put them on the (very busy) bus home. It was full of teenagers coming home from school. Not one of them offered either of my GPS a seat. I’m so sick of this kind of shit and might lose my rag at someone soon!
If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world.

AIBU?

OP posts:
JMKid · 22/10/2019 17:34

Im a teacher and use the word entitled on a regular basis.

crazycatgal · 22/10/2019 17:35

As a teacher I see this a lot.

My TA dropped something the other day and a child pointed and laughed.
If someone drops something most kids will just walk over what has been dropped and only a select few will stop and help.
I asked a child to pick a wrapper up from the floor the other day and had the reply "It's not mine" and she tried to walk away.
There are about 5 out of 30 children in my class who say please and thank you.

It is really quite sad and I try my best to change this.

tigger001 · 22/10/2019 17:35

While I dislike the word entitled being used for young kids as it is so over used at the moment,I have to whole heartedly agree with you OP with rude and ill mannered people.

I have people tell me all the time how rare and lovely it is to see my DS say please and thank you, as it appears to have become a rarity. He's only 2 but always says thank you and please, surely that's just the Basics. I can't abide bad manners and to be rude to someone face to face or online just shows you were brought up badly.

Awaywiththepiskies · 22/10/2019 17:37

If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world

BRAVA!!!

YADNBU. I'm a bit sick of it all too.

ElizaDee · 22/10/2019 17:40

We just went to a wedding a few weeks ago and gave as a gift £300 which I believe is really generous and didn't even get a thank you

That's disgraceful. I sent thank you's to everyone that came to ours, whether they gave a gift or not.

Mitzicoco · 22/10/2019 17:41

Just to say, that MN seems to have the rudest and most 'entitlted' people on the planet on it. Just read through some threads Geesh.

I8toys · 22/10/2019 17:45

Just use the line "Excuse me - did you mean to be so rude?"

woodhill · 22/10/2019 17:47

Yes there are rude people but I just carry on being polite.

I remember being told off at school for forgetting my manners at timesSmile

FindaPenny · 22/10/2019 17:48

I have in-laws whose children are like that. The mum thinks it's reasonable that the 5 year old argued with her teacher about a complete non issue and told me that she thinks her children's rude attitude will serve them well in life as compared to my daughters polite one😒

SoftBlocks · 22/10/2019 17:51

YANBU.

Beveren · 22/10/2019 17:53

Slightly off topic, but WTF is it with kids trick or treating so long before Hallowe'en? I was on a train last week when someone got on with three small girls dressed in party frocks and with some sort of make-up on who were parading up and down the carriage trick or treating. Since obviously few if any people had sweets on them, they were making really quite a lot of money. I was tempted to tell them to wait, but didn't feel that I could be that mean to children. However, I was tempted to ask their mother why she was sending her children begging.

Pinkblueberry · 22/10/2019 17:53

Although I agree with you over all OP in terms of being consirate etc, I think there’s also something quite ‘entitled’ about people who constantly expect to be thanked by everyone and then get in a huff when they’re not. My mum is not British and I wasn’t brought up to constantly say ‘thank you’ like a robot like many young children who have no real understanding of gratitude - it’s seen as quite OTT, insincere and unnecessary in her culture.

Beesandcheese · 22/10/2019 17:54

If you're doing it for grovelling thanks you are as manner less as the next person. I'd get over your anger issues.

7salmonswimming · 22/10/2019 17:57

This morning, I opened the front door to my children's school, let my small children pass under my arm, then went in after them but held the door open for the next person behind me (there was a line of people climbing the steps up to the door). It was a busy time of morning with teachers/staff/children trying to get where they needed to be.

The young fellow behind me (easily a foot taller than me, and much heftier than me) didn't take the door 'off me' i.e. take over holding the door open, walk through and hold it open for the person behind him. Oh no, he let me hold it, waltzed around me, pushed over my youngest child - and not a word of thanks or apology out of him!

Teenagers generally get a bad rap, in my view. On the whole, I find them interesting, funny, clever, and still quite cute with their big feet and smart attitudes and pretending-to-be-adults. But this lad! Security guy gave him a sharp word, thankfully. It's okay for teenagers to be a bit self-absorbed and not see the world around them, but outright rudeness isn't on.

Manners need to be instilled from the very beginning, so they become automatic by the time children are pre-teens. They've got too much other stuff going on in their lives after that to learn, which is how we end up with rude adults.

Cherrysoup · 22/10/2019 18:00

I loved a video the students asked to make at my last school about use of public bus etiquette. Little bit stereotypical, but they made a big show of giving up seats (in a half empty bus because they filmed during school time!), allowing vulnerable people to get on/off first then berating a friend who shoved another passenger. Absolutely hilarious, but made the point.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 22/10/2019 18:00

We were queuing in a restaurant at the weekend when a family came in after us, walked around us and almost stood in front. I shuffled forward a bit, thinking there's no way they'd push in, but yes, they did. Was so shocked I didn't say anything to the waiter but did call out something about queueing as they walked past to their table and one of them looked rather sheepish.

Held the door open at the swimming pool the other day, 3 people walked through it without uttering a word. The last bloke said 'thanks very much'. If he hadn't I would have said a loud sarcastic 'you're welcome'.

My Y1 class this year aren't great at saying please and thank you. Am giving out secret stickers during the lunch register to those who say please this week when choosing their lunch options. They won't know what they're for at first. They will have to guess and see if they can work it out!

AgathaTheAardvark · 22/10/2019 18:00

Yanbu and neither are the pps pointing out that adults, (parents and childless), who are fucking rude and entitled too. I see it A LOT. It's these rude adults who end up raising rude children.

Although, I have to say that my four year old can be incredibly cheeky occasionally. She can also be very very polite and kind. If she is rude, I always pick her up on it and correct it, but I dread to think of some of the things she does at school, when I'm not there to say anything. I've only had lovely comments from her teachers, but yeah, picking up a sweet wrapper, I can absolutely imagine her saying "it's not mine". I wouldn't let her away with it and I hope her teachers don't either.

Hedgehogparty · 22/10/2019 18:03

I had people remark that my dc’s had good manners, and were polite. Now as adults it’s good to hear them be polite and appreciative to other people they come into contact with.

Sockwomble · 22/10/2019 18:05

My son can't speak and doesn't have the understanding to say it so I do the please and thank you for him.
It is not an issue now he is older because he is clearly very disabled but we did get a few funny looks when he was younger when people didn't seem to be able understand/ accept that he couldn't speak and didn't understand.

Billben · 22/10/2019 18:06

I don't think anyone uses the word entitled in RL

Of course they do. 🙄

DontCallMeShitley · 22/10/2019 18:10

People with buggies, aaarrggghhhh!!

I was in TKMaxx last week, in the shoe section, narrow aisles. Someone had left a trolley blocking the way, and a woman with a buggy was trying to get through. I moved the trolled out of her way and into the space at the end so she could get through, she just pushed straight through without a word, and so did her friend. It was clearly not my bloody trolley because I had one of those horrible basket things with the collapsing handle that pulls people's hangers out of their hands as you pass them. She was so bloody rude I actually said so out loud to myself.

Buggies in shops are a pain, but especially so with ignorant people like that.

bpirockin · 22/10/2019 18:10

I agree wholeheartedly. it used to be that rude/obnoxious kids were the ones that stood out, but these days it seems to be the other way round a lot of the time.

Drabarni · 22/10/2019 18:13

I love doing my passive aggressive thank you, at the top of my voice. it makes them stop, they rarely think though, because that's why they do it.

The same as men in top of the range cars pushing in.
It's great driving an old banger because you can freak them out.
Pretending you aren't going to stop. They shit themselves, so funny.

AgathaTheAardvark · 22/10/2019 18:14

Also, re "losing your rag one day". I think you actually should! I am not naturally confrontational at all a few years on MN has sorted that out. Now I will politely say something if someone is being especially rude. The classic "did you mean to be so rude?" is a good one.

Panicmode1 · 22/10/2019 18:16

It's not just entitled parents and children - it is across every swathe of society and daily life; people are much less polite and far more aggressive and entitled!

I often get comments on how beautifully behaved my children are - and people ask me how we''ve done it. Umm, it started before they could talk, and continues every single day (magic word? Sit up straight, hold your cutlery properly etc!) now, despite them being teenagers....it takes a lot of effort!