Rude parents, entitled kids

[LuckyAmy1986]

Just back from a day out at a local attraction where kids can trick or treat at various doors round the place. Our kids were waiting patiently and two little kids came and pushed in front of them. Parents said nothing. And many, many kids didn’t say thank you when given sweets, the parents didn’t encourage them to when they didn't either.
My elderly grandparents came to see me recently. We stepped off the path into the road for a lady with a double buggy, no thank you, nothing. This happens frequently. I put them on the (very busy) bus home. It was full of teenagers coming home from school. Not one of them offered either of my GPS a seat. I’m so sick of this kind of shit and might lose my rag at someone soon!
If you are one of those parents who doesn’t make their children wait in line or say thank you can you fucking sort yourself out please, we don’t need more entitled twats in the world.

AIBU?

@Daytime

Few yrs ago on my way to work, happened to notice young lady in front of me had her wallet and credit card showing from her back pocket, infact about to drop out. I called out to her politely, "Excuse me xyz" to so she could tuck it in.She turned round and tucked both items in, didn't once look at me let alone say thank you.

Again few yrs ago, went to on a school visit, on the way out noticed another lady (shall we say parent) about to come in through double doors, with buggy and another older lady who looked very much like her (assuming this to be her mum) so i held the door open wide for them to come in. Lady with buggy sailed past straight through without a backward glance, leaving me holding the door. Elderly lady murmured a "thanks" as she walked past.

Teenage / young men are more likely to offer DS (visible disability) a seat than anyone else. People over 60 are more likely to push in the queue at my bus stop. It isn't always the kids that are the problem

Did this person crap on about "sharing"

No, for once there was no nonsense about sharing

I usually offer if people want to share the vet bills/livery fees/hay costs when they start on with that. Shuts them up pretty quickly.

There does seem to be something about horses that makes people think they are entitled to ride other people’s horses/feed them something unsuitable when they’ve been asked not to. She’s not the first (although the most spectacular) and won’t be the last

You are a wonderful parent / person and everyone else is awful

Sleeping

I have noticed both tbh. An older man and I were having a total, very british, rant about another passenger on a bus, who had bundled past both the older man and me with my pushchair and buggy board with two children. CF passenger then barged on to the bus before all the disembarking passengers had got off and had a good old natter with the driver . Little fucker.

Sorry, my point being that it was the older man who was being polite and let me board the bus ahead of him. The CF passenger was a younger man.

You are a wonderful parent / person and everyone else is awful

That is EXACTLY what I meant.

@sarahjconnor agree, I wasn’t saying teenagers overall are like that, my nephew is lovely. They just happened to be in my example. The buggy woman was in her 30s so I guess it’s just a wide range of people! Wasn’t trying to pick on teens. Just meaning there were many able bodied youngsters on the bus rather than loads of elderly people ( who I know can be some of the worst offenders!)

Oh and well done to your DS!

I am in the recruitment panel for trainees at my work (national law firm). Candidates come in for a whole day assessment centre. The assessors very quickly rule out those with poor manners no matter how well they perform on the actual tests. "Poor manners" include those who are impolite or dismissive to our reception/admin staff. No chance I would risk putting someone like that in front of a client.

If children don't learn good manners they could easily be ruling themselves out of top jobs in a few years.

Rudeness/bad manners drive me mad, I can't abide people like that. I have adopted a range of techniques to get my displeasure across which work quite well generally. I cannot believe the level of thoughtlessness I come across on a daily basis.

You are not being unfair. It seems the norm for kids to push in but, yes, I am now noticing it from adults too. I suppose I thought it was just some rude, selfish people (I'm not sure that I really understand the meaning of entitled but selfish seems to some it up). that exist in the world but perhaps there are increasingly more people like this. My children always seem very meek when others push in front of them and I am trying to teach them to make a point of not accepting it if it happens.

Kids are rude because theyre parents prob are-manners cost nothing but some people think theyre above all that

Bloody hell Daytime she sounds a right charmer.

Yanbu at all. I loathe the pushing and shoving that goes on in public transport and other shared spaces. And the failure to acknowledge when someone puts a person first or holds a door for them. And I agree, if parents are rude then what chance do their kids stand of learning even basic politeness? I get regularly and maybe a bit unreasonably cross when, as a considerate driver, I wave someone on, and they don’t raise their hand in thanks. But I saw a sweetly funny and heartwarming sign of old fashioned manners just the other day, when an elderly gentleman in WH Smith said “Thank you very much” in answer to the disembodied voice of the self checkout. Bless.

I always find older people tend to be more rude than younger people. That's my experience anyway

YANBU
I commented at work the other day how nice and polite a large family with elderly to children were, that we were serving, and another colleague commented that we used to be surprised by bad manners and now we're surprised by good manners. I find that sad. As a pp said, teaching children manners and respect for others in general starts young and continues, my DD is a teen now but I've been complimented a few times over the years how polite and thoughtful she is. I don't particularly think she is, it's just how I think people should be with each other. Unfortunately I think there's a general shift in society and using manners and showing respect for others seems to make you regarded as a doormat. Shouldn't be like that.

@Daytimetellysucks

I've had similar though not quite as cheeky encounters a few years ago with my old but still slightly crazy horse. I competed him when he was younger, and even in semi retirement, he was still a goon. Constant battle with the locals about feeding him and fieldmates crap and going in the field without permission, to the point of electric fence posts pulled up and flung so they could still have access because we tried to double fence to stop it happening. Had gates broken and horses escaping because of people climbing on them. People fashioning string into 'headcollars' and trying to ride them. Luckily the horses were wiser and they'd clear off at the first sign of anyone trying to climb aboard! They did start leaving mine alone though after he threw an almighty tantrum and dumped me on my arse one afternoon in the adjoining paddock (think imaginary hedge monster) but you're right there's something about horses that people seem to think they're entitled to share them, but of course not the poo picking, mucking out, fence fixing in the pissing rain, walking 4 miles home because of a leaf looking at him the wrong way....... Or the bills, insurance and all nighters because of colic!

I agree with you op. I insist on manners in my house. It's something I get told all the time about DS and how well mannered he is. But I don't think it's anything special - it should be the norm.

Just wanted to add... A few weeks ago my DH and I got on a very busy bus. A lad of about 14 immediately stood up and offered me his seat. I thanked him, but declined (I'm 50 BTW).

Before we got off, DH went to speak to him, and said how impressed he was with this, and that his parents should be very proud of him. It seems sad that this should have been such a surprising event, but shows that there are some good kids out there.

@Beesandcheese I think you've stumbled onto a thread about yourself ;)

God yes :

No thank you or acknowledgement for gifts at the last three weddings we attended

Rude wanker walked straight past me in Aldi where I was unpacking my stuff on the conveyor belt and handed his stuff to the cashier. Then faffed for ages getting change so I had to wait (after being queue jumped)

Etc

@MaybeitsMaybelline Having experienced both the absence of a "thank you" and the sarcastic "you're welcome" in various situations, I definitely think the latter is much ruder!

Why assume the worst about someone rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt? Perhaps someone is too anxious or depressed to say anything, perhaps they're too sleep deprived to notice others around them, perhaps they're distracted by something more important happening, etc

Oh I so agree so much I can't even form a good sentence to emphasise how much.

Thank you so much OP for raising an issue that's so important, so easy to do, and yet so overlooked by so many.