Mystery knickers

[starfishcoffee]

A pair of black knickers appeared (clean) in a pile of clothing I had ready to wash in the living room. They are not mine.

I asked DP and he genuinely seems clueless. We work together + we spend 95% of our time together. I do work 2 evenings a week, but during this time DP is looking after our toddler & I'm back within 2 hours of DS going to bed.

We haven't had any female guests staying. DPs male friend stayed with us 4 weeks ago and it did cross my mind, but they'd be far too small (size 6) for him anyway.

Anyone want to help me play detective?

DH's mate has a secret knicker fetish.

Is everyone else getting an advert for a black pair of knickers

Honestly OP, I think finding strange pants is very unlikely to be an indicator of your DH having an affair.

The same thing happened to me once. Turned out he was cheating 🤷🏼‍♀️

I expect the former owner used to dry her pants on the radiators, they fell down and your toddler or the cat found them. If they are clean that's the obvious answer.

Dear op, my first instinct would be to question is my partner cheating. What do your instincts tell you?

Has to be the radiator, or they were jammed into some other space and have now found there way out. Which makes me ponder whether all these knickers, socks, vests etc that have fallen down behind radiators are a fire hazard.

(I found boxers once, in a flat that I lived in alone, with a boyfriend who didn't like boxers and didn't own any.)

A friends spare knickers that fell out of her bag , maybe she didn't realise and thought they were yours when she saw them on the floor .

Yes, we once had a mystery pair here too..but they were worn and found in my car!! I got myself in a state...then did the radical thing and asked my DH !

He was horrified, he thought they were mine and was thinking why the hell had i these in the car too and was worrying what I was doing hiding them there!

Context - his car tidy, my car chaos. I do keep spare san-pro & knickers in my car plus a load of other junk.

To cut a long story short, he borrowed my car the day his was in garage (a rare occurance). When he opened the door to get gym bag out, spotted something on floor, thought it had fallen out my car, saw it was pants and embarrassed threw back into car quickly no doubt cursing my untidiness and then promptly forgot about it. Next day I get my car back and find random knickers in passenger footwell. Puzzled. Stress about it. Black, my size (10) but defo alien pants. Worn. .

Mystery was solved by a conversation “I found some mystery pants”. Turn out he had picked up someone else’s random dropped off the gym car park floor...If we had not talked we would still be thinking he was dodgy...and I was awfully slovenly!

I don't think your DH is cheating. If he was it is highly unlikely he would deliberately bring a pair of the OW's knickers into the house, and if she left them in your house she would have noticed and they would have been hunting for them (plus they wouldn't be clean).

Please try not to eat yourself up about this - chances are you will never find the answer.

I suspect your DS found them somewhere and brought them into the lounge. It could be that they were down the back of a radiator. Maybe a female guest to the house dropped them out of a bag (or maybe your DS took them out of a bag and hid them somewhere).

Or if they had been brought into the house by your DH's friend they could have got mixed in with towels or bedding that was being washed and they have only just been shaken free.

How long have you lived in your house? Down the back of a radiator things can hide for years.

I also find that clothes just turn up at mine - t shirts, jeans. Not mine or DPs

I have spoken to DP, he says he doesn't know. I think I trust him, he is always with me if not at work or at home with DS.

I actually contacted the friend and asked quite directly, he said he doesn't recognise them and seemed confused although it's quite possible he is embarrassed.

They are not dusty & have a slight scent of laundry powder, that is the reason the radiator theory doesn't quite add up.

Is the washing machine new? They may have been wedged into a crevice and finally jolted out in the wash. It happens with socks so don't see why knickers wouldn't too.

I wouldn't worry, like you say he doesn't have the time to be messing around and they are a small item which are easy to wedge into small places.

Plus if they smell like laundry powder then they are clean, if they had been picked up from a tryst then they would likely be less than fresh.

@LemonPrism

We installed the washing machine when we first moved in 18 months ago. I have had to look in the crevices before as DS is prone to putting his crayons in there.

They didn't smell that fresh, but definitely clean.

Does he recall picking them up somewhere and popping them on the pile? If not, assuming the pile isn't weeks old, he's the only suspect and it's a bit off.

thinks -if these are expensive knickers & there was ow she would be asking for them back? I second knickers down back of radiator OR if you got quilt cover from oh mums house (complicated but hang in there) maybe his ds knickers were in wash at same time as quilt cover & when they were washed it wound up in corner & stayed there. & so it might stay, unnoticed by you until such time as you (or he) gave a really good shake of inside quilt into said large pile of washing & than - bingo - foreign knickers! (I have had this with odd socks!)

@NearlyGranny

No, I found them at the top of the pile. I assumed the worst and asked my DP about it. He said "I don't know, aren't they yours?"
I've questioned him a bit more, but he still claims he doesn't know.

I've asked 3 of my female relatives (as I've used their tumble dryer in the past) but they've said they don't recognise them.

Possibly dropped out of a visitor's clothes? I once lost a pair of knickers that were part of a set, couldn't find them anywhere. Dh wears combat style trousers with Velcro on the pockets as part of his work uniform, after finding the bra that matched missing knickers attached to his Velcro when he got dressed for work one day we concluded that he may have actually gone to work with my knickers attached to his trousers one day and dropped them at work! I also regularly find socks and knickers (especially dd's because they're small) inside my jeans etc when I take them out of the dryer.

I have a highly suspicious mind and the first thing that would come to my head would be that they were in DH's pocket for some reason, and then went in the washing with his clothes. Do you check all pockets before putting a wash on? Or did he put the wash on?

We found random socks behind radiators in our house - previous owners dried underwear on the radiators (as do we) but obviously didn't keep a count of socks so didn't know that they lost them down the back of the rad.

Clean but not fresh ties in with them having being down the back of a radiator or other forgotten place.
I once moved house forgetting I left some bras hanging at the back of the cupboard where the water tank lived. They could still be hanging there now years later as they were not visible if you just opened the cupboard door.

I found a pair that weren't mine, clean in my underwear draw once. Several sizes bigger than I was. I was so confused. I knew 100% that dh would never cheat though. Six months later I found out by chance that he had indeed been cheating.

Clean but not fresh ties in with them having being down the back of a radiator or other forgotten place.

Op said they had a slight detergenty smell. I doubt after two years behind a radiator they would hold that smell.

Could be a relatives friends if you say you have used their tumble drier?
As others have said, I doubt very much they would be clean if it was another woman and to be honest, you would be more likely to find them on the floor /under the bed if it were that